| Thanks so much for your posts and encouragment. Stardreamer - that's great news. I will look forward to reading about your experiences!
I am just writing an update after 'eating' my meal tonight.
I had a piece of salmon, grilled, as I had planned. I didn't cook it until about 6.30 because for some reason I was reluctant! Anyway, there it was on the place gleaming and looking yummy. I said to my son "I think there should be a fanfare or a chorus line dancing up and down the lounge". He did a fanfare but refused to dance up and down!
As some other people have said, it was impossible to eat the whole piece and I didn't try. I 'listened' to my body's response and stopped when I felt full.
Next door's kitten leapt four foot in the air to grab the plate when I took it in to her to finish off. She missed, and landed on the floor!
Just half an hour ago I had a momentary crisis of confidence when I was browsing on another site. What if I'm just kidding myself and will fail again. It's those little voices again.
I know that I am going to be severely tested over the next few months. I know that I am really going to have to face some difficult truths about myself, things for which I have so far only scratched the surface in development. If I really want to recover, I am going to take responsibility for my behaviours, 'grow up' in a way.
I am both exhilerated at this prospect of finally taking control of my life, but also afraid on many levels. Failure, success - what do I really want? |