artemis

Thank you so much all of you, I sat with tears in my eyes reading them. I am so grateful that you took the time to post.

Its great to know I am not alone Kitty, Its been so getting me down.
RacieTracie - I do self sabotage so well, I always have. I think on some level Im doing this because Im frightened to get to my goal, or if I sabotage it then I will have a reason not to be happy. Screwed or what.

Irene thaks for your support, I think I am in Ireland on the 25th (im originally from there) but if Im not I would love to go to the meetup.

Mags and Lilypad, thanks for your kind words I know all the reasons to keep going, I think if I can just get through it one day at a time, I will cope. I did before.

I have decided to follow some of the advice on here and set mini-goals, though I have some big goals too. Im gonna figure out my ticker too!

I am definitely going to be posting from now on, I think I will use this as part of my motivation too. I aloready write in my journal, though from now its going to be positive, instead of negative!
Im going to find something to celebrate achieving each day.

Thank you ladies, its much appreciated.

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Here we go again, I will do it this time