I have had an awful few days so have been keeping quite a low profile for the last week....
I was really doing ok and so positive about CD and the variety of flavours - then disaster struck .... I fell ill. I know that like LT, when ill you are advised to eat light meals as your body needs that extra boost but to be brutally honest I just went 'hog wild'!!!
I actually think half of what I ate I didn't even want but I kept telling myself that I was so down and low on energy that I needed to eat. I can see the logic of needing to eat but I feel so wretched now!
To make it worse my counsellor and sister were so suportive and I feel like a failure.... why on earth can I just not breeze through the next 5 stone without feeling sometimes like I'm missing out on all of the savouries I used to enjoy? How do I honestly see food as just fuel when I have to make all these tasty dinners for my son? Most of the time I try to just go to bed early after my 'dinner' shake so that I can avoid temptation.
At least drinking the 4ltrs of water is a bit of a breeze for me! Yay, something's going right!
I do want this, and I WANT to lose weight but I feel like it will take forever to get to target and I'm so frustrated with myself! Everyone on here has some fabulous stories and seem to do really well, so why do I lack the willpower and impetus to stick to my goals? I still love the variety and flavours of the shakes but my goodness, it feels like one thing after another - if I'm not having to go out with work colleagues, ... it's a close family members' birthday with attendant dinner party,... if I'm not ill, ... I'm hosting my best friend (of 20 years! Never thought I'd be old enough to have a friend for 20 YEARS!) and her boys for the whole day! UUUUUgh! I love my family and can't be a hermit but how else do I stay invincible?
I dunno what's wrong with me today ... ignore me - I'm having a bit of a low day. I'll bounce back tomorrow. I always do. And you know what? I want a life. I want to be healthy, happy and physically confident again .... so I'll just keep on trucking.
Have a good day all!
Bev x