| i dont have anyone to talk to and i feel so lonely and upset with myself, no matter how hard i try i cannot get back into ss'ing, its like im scared of changing and i want to stay fat ~ which is totally ridiculous as its being this big thats making me miserable!
i was in such a state this morning i took my little one to school and came home and went back to bed for 3 hours, i dont even do that when im ill.
i just feel like i want to be left alone to sort myself out, almost locked away somewhere like rehab!
I didnt want to mention this on this thread but i think it all boils down to me needing to lose the weight as i want to try for a baby~ i lost my baby (18wks pregnant)~Tommy, in April 07 and have been trying to pick up the pieces since.
i suffer with a condition called hyperemesis gravidarum during pregnancy which makes it all the more difficult, but im really desperate to try again now but i need to lose some weight first!
why am i stopping myself? its like i dont deserve to be happy!
sorry for the long post if your reading, i certainly dont want sympathy but maybe someone can help me see what im doing or why im doing it! |