13th July, 2008
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#1 (permalink)
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| Regular Member | 19y/omummytummy's weight loss and tummy toning journal!
Hello all, This first post is basically a repeat of my thread in the introductions forum, but I will update this thread with my progress, weigh-ins and temptations... overcome!
My name is Tasha, I'm a 19 year old mummy from Essex, and I've decided to loose some weight and tone up my body as I am still very young - As a teenager I do not feel that I should look like I do - which is flabby, fat and blatantly unattractive.... So I'm joining you loverly lot here at MiniMins; I have realised I need help  - I think I am slowly gaining the willpower to change, and I really, really want to but I might just need that little extra support? You girls on here are an inspiration; I've been reading the success stories and looking at the inspiration photos and it just makes me feel a little bit better about myself and my situation - that I really can achieve that goal - that I won't be fat forever. I have never really been a skinny person, which has always been a bit of a problem for me: I was a size 18 (I say I was an 18 - but my 18s were in fact very, very tight on me) at the age of 15, and except for a year after that where I suffered from anorexia and dropped to a size 8-10, I've never been able to control my weight. This has always made me deeply depressed, as despite aspiring to feminist ideals that women shouldn't HAVE to be size 8 stick figures with big boobs in order to be attractive, I find myself feeling completely inadequate and disgusting with my body as it is, and the smallest I can seem to get down to is a size 14, and even then I am so flabby and saggy - I just feel like I will never be good enough  ... So what's the point in trying? I've now had a little girl, and am struggling to loose the 'baby weight', my curves have all squished into the wrong places; somehow I have 3 sets of hips and 2 sets of love handles, and my belly is just disgusting... Of course it doesn't help that I am breastfeeding and that just seems to make me STARVING hungry ALL THE TIME It's like i just have to be scoffing my face off, and I am STILL feeling famished!  I realise I have to do something about my weight now, but I'm terrified of slipping back into anorexia, as it does seem to be all or nothing with me at the minute: If I allow myself to think "Oh, one won't hurt..." I end up eating the whole packet of whatever it is  . However if I don't let myself eat anything at all, that does seem to be one way I can easily manage my weight... I don't get hungry if I never eat, but I don't want that to spiral our of control into an eating disorder again - Does anyone know how to free oneself from this 'all or nothing' mentality?? Please?? Help! ...*sigh* I know I need to do something and I REALLY MEAN IT THIS TIME. I am going to... Watch this space! But I really hope this forum will help make it easier; I have a size 14 dress for a wedding I am going to next month and I FULLY intend to fit in it! Wish me luck! and Thanks for reading x |
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