A warm hello to everyone!
Ok firstly i decided to re upload this in a new thread.. t to make it the start of my official weight loss diary / bog and this is where i will update my progress as time goes by
Hi,.. my name is Stuart and i have been battling my weight like many of you maybe, ever since i can remember.. As an emotional eater, i would indulge with takeaways and sweet treats, choccie and
cream cakes but i would basically eat with any emotion.. if i was happy, sad, worried, stressed, i would reach for something bad.
I would get stuck in the sugar rush loop, shovelling junk into my mouth and then when the sugar crashed.. id do it again. I had no self control and if i saw something i wanted i would simply have it.
I loved food and merrily put on a stone each year from the age of 14 matching my age with my weight!..
My life from 13 up was hard.. my parents both remarried and my new step mum was the worst person id ever known, violent, dominieering.. demented.. and made my life hell. My father and her would always have awful fights that still haunt me to today. i was also dealing with the usual school problems where your the fat kid and generally trying to get through life as we all do! My mum was a recovering alchoholic and that played a massive part to my eating as i would be forever worried about her and if she was ok, or if i would get an answer whenever i picked up the phone.
At 20 my mum died due to alcoholism, and this event sent me spiralling out of control. I had been dealing with this issue for all my life, but there were dry patches also, for years even and in those she was the best mum in the world.
I spiralled out of control, unable to feel any real emotion i went on a mission of self destruction.. the food increased along with a careless lifestyle not giving a damn what i put my body through..
drinking, partying,smoking etc etc.. i simply didn't care and 3 more years passed and i was sitting at 24.5 stone at 23 years old. So unfit 10 mins of brief exercise or walking would exhaust me.. No clothes fit me and everything was painful and awkward, i would dread sitting on a seat for fear of it breaking! and i would also notice for the first time since my school days people would call out hurtful things, its easy to pick on the fat guy! and my school days of being bullied was suddenly here again in my adult life.
It was at 24 years old and at 25 stone that all of a sudden, like a lightning bolt it hit me.. i don't want to be this guy any-more. i don't want to be fat, unfit, wheezing, sweating all the time, being called names by teens on the street, squeezing into my car , having to pre plan anything i was doing to see if my weight would cause me a problem.. id had enough..
By chance i came across a advert for the Atkins Diet on tv and it really appealed to me! the ideal of eating fatty foods and loosing weight!! too good to be true! i excitedly bought the original VHS tapes and set.. i forget where from but from the minute i started watching i was excited, i felt like there was a way out..
I HAD tried dieting in the past, before my mum.. i had tried not to eat crappy foods, id also tried slim fast, weight watchers, the cabbage diet, and a few others i cant even remember the name off, but
nothing would stick.. i would ALWAYS be hungry.. so so hungry, and miserable or just not be able to sustain them through a lack of motivation or will power.
In the first week on Atkins, i lost a stone... i was over the moon and 3 months went past and 2 more stone off.. i was literally through eating eggs, bacon, steak etc as the original diet was less diverse and
more hardcore! but it works!.. sadly along with the initial success was the boredom.. i became bored of greasy food and also of cooking.. i wasn't a very good cook, am still not!.. but it got to a point where i couldn't stomach another fried anything .. and came off the diet..
I spent the next 4 years battling with normal diet and exercise.. believing that was the only way to properly loose weight as i was told my doctors nutritionists etc etc.. i bought a rowing machine and a cross trainer and did between 2 and 4 hours of exercise a day 5 days a week.. i lost a nearly 2 stone in 4 years!! but all wasn't so straight forward.. i was playing games with myself.. for instance on the way home i would buy 1500 cals of junk and scoff the lot.. then get home and work it off.. this was in secret, i had a partner at the time who was clearly bored of me and my size and didn't keep it to
themselves so that was motivation for me to change, but i was also unhappy with the relationship for reasons i wont bore you with.. so i would eat in the shadows to make myself feel better.. i think to be honest i am not sure if i was in complete control.. it would be like a switch would go off and i would have to go get something junk wise to eat...maybe i had an addiction too.
i got down to 19 stone.. well.. 18 stone 12 pounds to be precise and i JUST couldn't move the weight.. not surprisingly really considering i was sabotaging myself, but i didnt feel i could control it.
During that time one day i had a argument with my partner, a bad one.. things were thrown.. and it all came out, i was basically told i was a vile fat ugly disgusting pig, and they were no longer in love with me.. i was bigger when they met me but they told me they didn't see me for as big as i was for a year or so.. possible i guess i mean i was HARD TO MISS!!! .. i had also earlier that week taken them to Alton towers a passion of mine roller coasters! .. but was humiliated when i couldn't fit on some of the rides and had to do numerous walks of shames as the whole ride looks on and laughs so i was pretty motivated to get loosing weight once and for all!..
that day sparked in me the determination to loose weight even more but i was running out of time and my relationship was in the pan.. i was desperate to change everything in the hope i would be
able to save my relationship though we agreed to live together and be friends ( not what i wanted but i couldn't bear to loose them and they had nowhere to go)
A few days went by and i saw an ad in my local post office window for the Cambridge diet.. &quot; loose a stone a month with no exercise with controlled shakes&quot; etc etc.. i was intrigued.. id never been a fan
of the group meetings kind of thing so the thought of a 1 on 1 with a &quot;councillor&quot; was daunting.. but i was desperate and thought what the hell..
after a bit of research i saw success stories so picked up the phone and made an appointment.
I'm getting finger cramp writing this so i'm going to skim this part..
Basically i lost 7 stone in 9 months .. from feb 2008 to November doing sole source to the letter, doing it perfectly with out a single cheat not even a wafer thin mint!.. and all of a sudden i was 12.9 stone
and on top of the world.. clothes fit, people seemed to talk to me differently, with respect or less pity or disgust.. and things were great. I sort of got back with my partner too so in my mind mission
Trouble was.. i had no idea who it was staring back at me in my reflection. Once of the biggest issues with VLCD diets in my opinion of fast weight loss is that they do not prepare you for whats to come..
, but all of a sudden i was this thin guy getting into medium clothes with a jaw and cheekbones and definition and i was lost. i felt disconnected with myself and awkward.. choosing clothes was a
nightmare as id always go sizes too big!.. and i did have an issue with loose skin! not a huge amount to be honest but enough to make me conscious of it!
6 months later and i was starting to slip.. at a party with my partner i noticed them flirting within someone else and knew that it just was not meant to be. we broke up shortly after that and it turned out
they were cheating on me anyway so luckily i got rid of them and they went from my life for good.
But my mental strength was broken.. and i picked up the carbs again.
Its true what they say.. WOW did the weight pile back on! .. i was putting back on a stone a month and i was trying so hard to be careful but because i hadn't done the &quot; re feeding&quot; correctly and just
blown it like a switch being fixed my body had no chance and super absorbed every tasty morsel of fattening food!
Apparently your fat cells stay active for years after you loose weight taking a year or something to dissolve to whenever to slip they jump right into action ( but dont quote me on that in not sure if that
I got to about 17 stone and met someone new - the perfect partner, all id ever dreamed about and am still with them today but it was tough as i found battling the weight even harder as we were
going out etc etc as you do in a new rel!.. the weight kept piling back on, i got to 20 stone then 21 and right back up to 23.5 stone. My partner was and is incredibly supportive and doesnt care how big
i am! that was weird in itself as now i have nothing to blame but me,.. i need to do this for myself.
I found a new couciller and hopped back on the cambridge diet train not caring of the damage it did the first time round and still felt it was the only way for me to loose weight..
i got down to 20 stone and then spent the next 2 year or so battling up and down endlessly breaking the diet evey month with carb binges, just not having the will power to get the job done. Still i was
sort of in control this time round! but i just felt awful this time round, weak, fatigued etc and my job is quite phyisical so i would need strength and just couldnt get through the day.
And that takes me to 10 days ago.. the first of august 2013.. my day of change forever.. i had done tons and tons of research from about the age of 18 on diets and was so relieved when i would read
more and more about the Atkins diet and low carbing proving itself time and time again as a successfully way to loose weight. It just felt like the right time, i think i was panicking about wanting to just
get rid of the weight again as fast as possible and thats why i originally opted for VLCD again but after it wasnt working for me the atkins diet just really appealed to me as A i know it works.. B i am more
mature now and am a better cook!.. C i wanted a diet that can fit into my lifestyle and also that i will feel strong on and not hungry.. ever!.. The lifestyle thing i think can play a massive part in your
sucess or failure.. when i did my first big weight loss i lived like a hermit! i saw virtually nobody, i didnt go out as the minute you go out for a meal or at a friends etc its very hard to stay on the line!..
people say just tell everyone but you end up just alienating you and also have to deal with people not understanding or shoving their opinios down your neck!.. On atkins or other low carb diets you
can go out and have a nice steak or chicken and restaurants are far more open to be asked for low carb variations of things on the menu! theres also bbq's in the summer so you can still keep your
Im detirmined more than ever to get this done once and for all now. I joined a gym the same day i started the diet and have been twice in 10 days but one of those times was a brutual induction which
left me sore for a week! i have been doing light cardio when at home, running up stairs, and doing lots of garden raking and gravel mooving at home! My next gym session is tommorrow, monday
which im looking forward to - a new thing for me! liking the gym! .. but i feel that exersize is a must on atkins if you dont want to look like a gaunt mess.. i want it to get my fitness up, my health, speed
up weight loss, help my skin and joints, and also hopefully get some sort of musclular defininition!
So! it has begun.. i was a bit disheartented with a slow initial moovment of pounds on the scale and i did but on about 4 pounds to start with changing over from vlcd which im suprised wasnt more
going from 600 cals a day on vlcd but i was breaking the diet every 4th week mostly so think my body knew what was coming but anyway it seems to have adjustd and the scales are now going down
and as of this morning i am under 20 stone for the first time in 3 or so years i think!
Starting Weight was 20 stone 6
Current Weight aug 10th 2013 - 19.13.4
i look forward to going on this journey again and sharing my experiences with all of you, i have made the mental commitment that this is happeneing and generally i will eat in a low carb preference for
the rext of my life. Carbs are my nemasis! haha!
Thanks for taking the time to read this, i thought it important for people to know a bit of background on me as a person and also me inside.. Society frustrates the hell out of me, seeing a fat person and
just casts them off as lazy and pathectic.. when the truth is most are battling with demons inside or have been through hard hard lives and reach for food for comfort and solice. I know there are many
that have simply gained a bit of weight each year and have no mental issues with food.. but they are in the minority in my opinion.
i will update this as often as i can with my progress and any useful info i might be able to give though ive already splattered some of it all over the atkins forum! bet people are fed up of seeing my posts
haha .. sorry about that only trying to help.
Feel free to message me with any questions! and id love to hear anyone elses stories battles.
Good luck to all of us, we can do it ... 1 pound at a time.
Feel free to rethread this or whatever if you think it might help anybody else, im a bit lost on this sight as to where to actually post things haha!
* my weightlloss so far is 7 pounds from 1st August I'm under 20 stone for the first time in nearly 3 years and feel awesome