1. I want to be and feel fit and healthy. I want to feel great every day.

2. I want to have a better choice of clothes and be able to shop in *normal* shops.

3. I want to feel good about myself, I want to like my body, I want to like photos of myself. I want some self-confidence and self-esteem.

4. I don't want weight-related issues to control my life in the future. I don't want to be having a heart attack or a stroke at 40 because I'm fat.

...

Dearest Gemma,
Here I am again writing another letter to you in yet another dieting crisis. I worry about you darling, why is it that you can’t stick to a diet for more than two weeks? I’m not being funny, or trying to degrade you, or embarrass you, I’m just pointing it out for your own good really. Gemma, you really have to work through the hard parts that come with dieting too, stick with it and don’t give in at the first hurdle. Fight for it.
You have something to fight for more...

I’ve spent most of today thinking about the reasons for my bingeing; as it has been pointed out my general pattern seems to be a good few weeks and then a bad few weeks. I don’t consciously know why this is, but from the pattern it’s easy to see that on some level I’m sabotaging myself. I’ve been thinking off some possible reasons why I might be doing this in the hope that I can get past whatever it is and continue my dieting successes. Here’s an outline of my main ideas…
One possible option...

I’ve had a bit of a breakdown tonight.
It’s my best friend’s birthday party next week and I have *nothing* to wear. I’ve been shopping … *nothing*. I’ve tried on everything in my wardrobe…*nothing*. I’ve tried at least ten different outfits on at least three times tonight and each time the outfit looked progressively worse until I collapsed on my bed in a fit of sobbing self-pity proclaiming that this Cinderella *isn’t* going to the ball.
In reality this Cinderella could have the...

This morning comes with a level of determination to get to the bottom of why I binge. I have come so far mentally in my fight to lose weight and get healthy, but physically I have seen a relatively limited loss. The primary reason for this is that when I start to make headway I suddenly suffer a setback of some sort. I don’t think that these setbacks are a coincidence; in fact I’m certain they’re not as most of them are caused by bad moods, tiredness or boredom which are all things that I should...