Thread: Who are you dieting for?

I will give the most obvious answer and say myself, as I have never cared about other peoples physical perception of me. My only reasons for wanting to lose weight are to look in the mirror and like what I see again, and to be able to buy the clothes I used to like buying

i would say im doing it firstly for myself so i can feel good about myself. but i also want to make my family proud and my little girl i dnt want her to have a fatty bum bum mummy when im taking her to school and i want to do more instead of being tired all the time!x

Good luck small jaxy

My first reaction to the question was that it's definitely for me, but maybe a little for others too, however losing it in a small way for others benefits me as well (if that makes sense).

I'll explain:

Up until the age of 16 I had always been a 'bigger' teenager, but at 16 the weight started melting off me and I became around a size 10-12. Once I hit 18 and went to Uni where I was cooking with 8 other girls and partying it slowly over 3 years crept up.

At the age of 20 I entered into what was then a happy relationship with the person I moved up to Birmingham to be with. There was a lot of stress at this time as my parents could see he wasn't good for me and me moving to be with him resulted in a lot of arguments with and bad feeling between me and my parents (which I still feel guilty for).

Once he had me away from my family, he had me under his control and the next 4 years of my life were some of if not the most unhappy of my life and they consisted of being with someone who drove a wedge bewteen me and my family, put me down constantly, blamed me for everything and mentally and emotionally abused me. Towards the end when he started calling me fat, telling me I didn't look good in anything, that he didn't love me etc food became a major issue for me and I would binge eat, constantly think about my next meal because no matter how healthily I ate he still didn't think I was trying hard enough so I thought why bother?

After many moves from his house to a house share, back to his house and then to another 2 house shares (I foolishly went back to him then left for good) my weight fluctuated but after I finally left him for good I joined a gym, saw a therapist and lost about 1 1/2 stone. I did that for me and my confidence and it was at this time I met my current partner. I'd also wanted to show my ex that I could do it with the right support and I was angry at him so if we bumped into each other I wanted him to realise what he'd missed out on.

Rob is amazing and one of the nicest men I have ever met in my life. He loved me and still loves me for being me and he is so supportive and caring, we are both very happy. Due to this happiness and complacency we have both gained weight because we are happy with each other and both find each other very attractive.

I started though to feel my health was suffering as a result of my weight gain - I felt tired, breathless and my knees were sore which scared me. I stopped liking what I saw in the mirror and didn't feel confident in any of my clothes so I decided to take action. I also wanted to feel confident in nice underwear or bed clothes for my OH, rather than wear his T-shirts to bed. This isn't because he isn't attracted to me anymore or because of anything he's said - he calls me sexy all the time, tells me I look great etc but it is something I want to do for him that also benefits me as well.

What times you've had. Well done. You left an abusive relationship, that takes such courage. May love stay with you from now on.

I'll be honest my weight makes me depressed and i'm really not in a good place atm, i'm happiest when i'm thin but i tend to need to reign in that sensation or it goes too far(hence slimming world as well i know there quite scrit about you going under eventual goal weights). But now i have made a positive step and hopefully when i get weight next week i will be down. As well i border on obsessive but it gets it done, just how i have always been

Thanks kellierocks, I'm slowly getting there. I still have issues with food and self confidence but I'm slowly working to where I want to be.

I'm doing it to try and conform more to what society sees as "beautiful" I also idolise the likes of Victoria Beckham.

I'm also doing it because of what I want to hopefully do career wise one day. I want to work in the fashion & beauty industry, and I think in my current form, I wouldn't really fit in. I also doubt very much I could get a job in a department store in their beauty hall or as a personal shopper helping style people, if I don't look the part.

I suppose deep down I have a shallow mentality that has just been beaten into silence by other mental health issues. I want to look in the mirror and know I look good, so I can go out there and help other people look in a mirror and know they look good, because I picked out that perfect shade of lipstick or nice flattering blouse with them....I'll shut up now.

Hmmmmm. Why am I doing this?

It is for myself but I've been beating myself up over the last year for putting on so much weight, then feeling bad, and eating and eating to cover up the bad feelings.

Its only now that I have forgiven myself and understood the underlying reasons for the binging that I feel able to commit to a weight loss programme for more than a couple of days. Other factors have helped, getting into councelling and having support for my families difficulties.

Apart from being a cry for help - in the past my size has been a rebellion against my parents strict values. For heavens sake, did it realy need 52 years for me to get over that? Well, obviously, yes it did. When I've lost weight in the past it has peed me off a bit when people start complimenting me as what they are really saying is how bad I looked before. As an ardent believer in the fact that our perceptions of what looks good are so moulded by the fashion industry and other pressures that are more interested in taking our money than what is good for us or the planet I am angered when people are so judged for their size or other issues that make them different to the perceived norm.

So, jumping off my soap box just in time, I'm doing this because I want my feet to feel good, my thighs not to rub together, to fit into clothes without hunting out the plus sizes, to be a good healthy example to my children, to have more energy, to generally improve my health all round ... and yes, to be pleased with what I see in the mirror