Thread: How Do We Change Our Self Perception

I understand why I overeat, I have had therapy, I've changed a lot of things about my life, my relationships etc etc- i'm very happy now with the things in my life but still this doesn't change my relationship with food.

I have worked out that I probably "self medicate" with food to numb the feelings of not being good enough. I don't see though how recognising this changes anything. I can't help that i don't feel good enough and that i don't have that deep down self belief - you can't force yourself to change - you either feel stuff or you don't.

I've often wondered this about therapy etc - ok so i know why i behave in a certain way- how does recognising it change it? How does knowing what pay off i get from overeating change those pay offs?

Any thoughts?

Oooo this is right up my street

I'll have a little think and come back to you with a decent answer on what I have found has helped me.

I've often wondered this about therapy etc - ok so i know why i behave in a certain way- how does recognising it change it? How does knowing what pay off i get from overeating change those pay offs?

Good question, and one I've asked myself many times.

So much emphasis is put on discovering why we overeat. Then what? That's where the book ends. Few solutions.

I think the idea is to find out what causes it and replace it with something less harmful

For me, eating gives me a buzz and that buzz relaxes me. It's the same buzz I get from smoking. I'm pretty sure it's partly a chemical thing for me.

Can't find anything that can give me that same buzz.

When I find it, then I know I'll have won the 'battle'.

(Trying everything at the moment...and getting addicted to them all)

Great getting you thinking thread.
Love reading what everyone thinks.

I did a cognitive therapy weight group recently.. it was a year long, with 2 years of 'follow ups'.
well, i now know my emotions, but kind of knew them to be honest. But it has taught me a lot about not defering living (so don't put something off till you've lost weight...), the importance of recognising my feelings from boredom to sadness etc etc.. and to challenge my NEED or CRAVING for food...
Puddings are my thing and we worked on my NEED for a pudding after every dinner... i know it doesn't sound so bad.. but when it's half a cheesecake... welll.

So, hubby and I are working on 'rewarding' ourselves another way.. it's hard, but meals in or out are a big part of how we rewarded ourselves.

I guess what i'm trying to explain is that now you know the reason.. you need to challenge and change the habit!
definately easier said than done, and our counsellor had a great 'circle' of change, where you prepare, put into action, slip up, and recover... so slip us are allowed! ((hugs))

Originally Posted by Karion Dieting

For me, eating gives me a buzz and that buzz relaxes me. It's the same buzz I get from smoking. I'm pretty sure it's partly a chemical thing for me.

Can't find anything that can give me that same buzz.

Exactly! But its also that chemical thing that when i overeat i get onto a complete downer - sure a lot of it has to do with the chemical reactions as well as the emotions.

I too struggle constantly with smoking - am now smoking way more than i should be having given up again last November!

I do have a connection with sociability with mine too - not sure if i arrange social occasions to facilitate my smoking and eating - kind of expected and therefore validated if i am out or if socialising makes me feel popular and therefore accepted and therefore good enough and so is a sympton. Hmm trying to work that one out at the moment.

The bottom line is i don't like denying myself food or ciggies. Like you say - both give a buzz that the best relationship and happiest life can't seem to replace. I enjoy the results of being temporarily successful but deep down i know its only ever temporary - deep down i know that ultimately i will fail. Thats what i do in my life - i f**k up and then other people fix it for me. Trouble is with eating and with smoking there is no "other people fix it" - only i can fix it. Believe me i've tried to hand over responsibility- gastric band, hypnotherapy etc etc. But i reckon somewhere along the line my brain has got the message that i can't rely on myself. Maybe i think i'm not worth it because i'm not good enough. Becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy and self sabotage eat your heart out!!

Sorry to ramble - but am really trying to make sense of stuff in my head at the moment.

**** - deep for a saturday night!

Hold on there Hels! Sometimes it just takes us a few more goes than most!

but deep down i know its only ever temporary - deep down i know that ultimately i will fail.

It's only temporary if you let it be. You're in charge. You call the shots. Make this the one that works for you.

Hels - remind me about this at Boot Camp and if you want to change it, we'll change it!