Thread: Counselling - Not much help this week

Went to see the doctor again to check in. Basically I went last Monday and she gave me anxiety pills, as I was getting really anxious about work and not sleeping. Today she's given me sleeping tablets as I'm still having trouble, and she's advised that I go to a local Youth Trust place. Basically they offer counselling to under 25s, and she thinks I could benefit talkint to someone and trying to unravel everything around work and my anxiety and unhappiness etc.

I popped in before I came back to work, and the lady on reception was actually trying to re-arrange some appointments today as she had had a cancellation, but she couldn't get hold of anyone. So - 'Right Place, Right Time' I suppose, I've got one of the afternoon slots today.

Apparently it's going to be the same time every week for up to 6 weeks.
My manager is off work today, so I had to confirm that I could leave early with her 'Number 2', and I feel really guilty, because our other collegue is leaving at 5pm today - I think for a driving lesson. So she's going to be on her own for the last half hour. So I feel really bad. Also she mentioned that I might have to work extra hours to make up for it - which kinda annoyed me as my colleague who leaves early for driving lessons all the time, doesn't have to.


I'm really nervous. I've been on the list for counselling before but nothing has ever really happened. When I think of problems other people have, mine seem to petty and pointless. I feel like I'm going to be wasting her time.

You willnot be wasting her time, if something is bothering you so much that its affecting yur life then it is important. You are important. Hope she can help you.

NOTHING is petty and pointless if it affects how u feel. your feelings matter and comparing them to other peoples problems is just a way of trying to make urself feel less important.

you ARE important so dont worry about who is handling the last few minutes of the work day. u totally deserve to work out whats going wrong with ur sleeping and anxiety.

Good god! other people have much more probs than me but i never even consider that that takes away from their power over me!

good luck with ur first session. its great u got in on short notice. hope u find it of help to you. you do deserve to be happy.

xxxxxxx

hey... your problems are your problems and you won't be wasting her time at all!!! counselling rocks and you will feel on top of the world again in no time!!!

Let us know how you get on

love

Gen xxx

definately not wasting anyones time!

i'm just so pleased to hear that you are getting some help, its often a struggle for people to get counselling so its heartening to know that in some places at least, its readily available!

Hope it helps you sort out whatever is bothering you, and don't be scared to bring up even the smallest of details at your sessions, it will surprise you how benificial it is to just 'get it off your chest'.

Best wishes
Mags
xxx

Originally Posted by Sparkle

When I think of problems other people have, mine seem to petty and pointless. I feel like I'm going to be wasting her time.

....and that's EXACTLY why you should go and get sorted !

You are precious and deserve to feel happy with and in yourself.....take this time for YOU and try to get to the bottom of what's causing you to be so anxious....

Take care.....look after yourself and let us know how you get on.....

love

Debz
xx

Hi Sparkle,

I am glad you got your appointment and obviously something is going on when your doctor has given you anxiety tablets and sleeping tablets.

Often, we find it hard ourselves to put our finger on the problem that is causing us so much trouble as we will often talk about the topics and not the issues.

A good counsellor is worth her weight in gold as she will be able to unravel what it is that is going on.

My advice is to be open and honest as you can for this will help her greatly to help you.

I love this quote..."The most familiar is the most often the most unknown"!

I hope you get some solutions and answers.

Try not to let No. 2 upset you....

Love Mini xxx

It is good you have struck whilst the iron is hot so to speak and as Mini said a good counsellor is worth her weight in gold. More good advice from mini re being as honest and open as you can.

Good luck - and just a thought, if your Doctor has sent you do people you work with normally get time off for Dr's appointments/dentists/ante natal etc?? If they do then I'd say you shouldn't have to make the time up ... if not well it will be worth making the time up if it helps you. And lots of good vibes being sent your way.

Hello Sparkle - just checking in to see how your first session went.....

Hope you're feeling OK and were able to talk through some of the issues affecting you....

Take care...

love

Debz
xx

Hi guys. First session went really well. The counsellor is really lovely, and made a lot of sense. She helped me see things from different perspectives, and asked me questions that I never would have considered as important, but the answers were invaluable.

I went in thinking one thing, but came out considering other options.

One point I made was that I don't feel fulfilled in this job, and I hate having to think about spending the rest of the year here - she turned around and asked me if I thought I would feel differently in any other job (not in the industry I want to work in), and I realised I wouldn't.

Next week she's going to go through some breathing exercises to help me calm my anxiety.

But a lot of good points were made, and I think I'm going to write them down, and read through them every day until they sink in.

Amazing how much one session can help, I should be flying at the end of the course (6 sessions)!

Just seen this thread Sparkle, Im so glad you got the chance for counselling and took it, and I hope you realise now that youre not wasting anyones time!!

Glad it went well *HUGS*

I'm so glad it went well! she sounds lovely and just what you need!

Mags
xxx

Hi Sparkle,

That is good that you have got so much already out of this session.

I am delighted you hit it off

Love Mini xxx

Hi Sparkle

I'm so glad you got to keep the appointment with the counsellor and that you found it so helpful. You might feel after another couple of sessions that you don't need to 'complete the course' (like when someone gets given antibiotics and doesn't take the last couple 'cause they felt OK?) but I heartily recommend that you do.

As for making the time up, I believe that so long as you attempted to make the appointment outside of YOUR working hours and were unable to, your employer should look favourably on this. If they insist on you making up the time, ask them to confirm in writing that other employees are doing the same -use the example of the memeber of staff taking time out for driving lessons. As flirty40greeneyes mentioned you should not be made to do something other people are not asked to do. I do have to say at this point though that your employers are entitled to ask you to make up the time. I work in a GP surgery and we are all expected to make our appointments outside of working hours and if we can't we have to re-arrange our hours unless it is an emergency. May sound harsh but in reality they are extremely helpful.

Don't think that you are unimportant, or rather that your concerns don't warrant as much time and effort as someone else's - YOU are, and you deserve the chance to 'improve your lot' in whatever way works. So here's to the next session

Sorry if I'm rambling & hope this post doesn't make you angry

Thank you very much for the lovely messages of support, I really appreciate it. I have a question though...

The counsellor made a lot of sense, and helped untangle a lot of things.

The question I have is this: How to you cope with the 'means to an end' phase?

I'm currently in a job that I've been in for 13 months now. It started off as 'just a job' something to bring the money in, better then being unemployed. Then there was the possibility that it could be a career. It was something I was seriously considering last November. Then I had time to think about it and realised that it's not what I want to do, and I 'had an idea' of what I want to do.

I'm now actively pursuing what I want to do - writing to the one company here that deals with it, and also saving as much money as possible, with the view to moving to London next year. So my current position has now become a stop gap. It pays okay, better then a lot of jobs here, so I can save that much more money, and possibly move to London sooner then if I worked someone else on a lower wage.

The thing is I don't enjoy it, I find it completely unfulfilling. Having said that, the counsellor made a good point, basically any job that isn't in the industry I want to work in, I will find to be unfulfulling. This is a means to the end. So I now have to come to terms with the fact that for the next 10.5 months, I'm going to be a job that I don't enjoy, and don't find fulfilling.

How do you deal with that? How do you push yourself through that? I'm trying to focus on the end result, on the beginning of next year when everything should start moving... But sometimes I catch site of the calendar/date and I find it quite demotivating to see that I've got another 10 months of this.

Any advice?