Pandas Calorie World!

PandaNate

Silver Member
Hey guys,

I'm Renate, you can call me either that or Panda. ;)

I'm around 15st10lb, weighed at the doctors this morning.
I am considering going to Slimming World but atm Calorie Counting is going to work for me in the foreseeable future.

I'd like some support from the forum, keep me on track, help me when I have decisions to do, meals to go to and other things.
I'd also like to meet some people who understand or have mental illnesses. I suffer with agoraphobia so along with my food diary I'm going to do my daily challenges and whether I did them or not, and how I felt and such.

Today - I am 200cals under my allowance, I did 30 minutes walking.
My agoraphobia challeneges I passed today are...
1. Going to my nurses appointment, no panic attacks, mild anxiety.
2. Continuing to Tesco's, doing a small shop and then catching the bus home with no panic attacks.

Food
Lunch - Tesco Chicken and Mushroom Piing tub.
Dinner - Rump Steak, New Potatoes, Carrots and Broccoli.
Snack - Cadburys Chocolate Buttons, Lemon Curd on 1 piece of whole meal toast.
Tea, Water, 2 Scottish Shortbread biscuits.

:)
 
Hi Panda, welcome. Yesterday looked v positive. Hope you have a good Friday :)
 
Hiya guys, something I've noticed straight away, within 20-30 minutes of eating, I feel hungry, do you think this is thirst instead?

Postman knocked too loudly and has made me jittery, he basically shocked me awake :/

I want to say todays goal is to go to town and buy my best friends baby the coat I saw but even though my moms going half, I'm unable to afford it.

1. Goal 1, walk, no matter how short.
2. Post office with items that ive put off sending.

Not yet eaten x
 
hey, i suffer from anxiety too - im on meds atm but i feel your pain! sometimes even a little walk can be horrific. but dont worry it will get better xx
 
Hey hun, I didn't even get the chance of going out today, I felt so unwell (headache wise) I ended up going back to sleep after my bath and breakfast.
I've decided, my bf will drop me in town tomorrow, I'll do what I need in town and get the bus back instead of relying on him to take AND bring me home or be with me in town. I'm very dependant on him :/

Breakfast - 1 Wholemeal Slice of Toast, Lemon curd.
Lunch - Tesco Classic Minced Beef in Yorkshire (ready meal)
Dinner - Heinz Chicken Soup, 1 large bread roll, I can't believe its not butter.
Caddburys Dairy Milk
1 glass of water, 1 cup of tea.

My doctor won't allow me to go on medication, if I'm not better by March when I move in with my boyfriend, I'm going to request from my new doctor, I'm currently undergoing counselling but no change at all after 4 sessions. :/
 
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yeah counselling isnt really intense enough for anxiety i think. i have some CBT and counselling but it didnt seem to help as much. how come they donttake any medication for it? if you dont mind me asking? if its personal just ignore me!
i used to rely on oh to gowith me everywhere and it was hard for both of us, i know how it feels, please pm me if you have any questions or just wanna talk i dont mind :) xxx
 
My doctor says I'm too young. I started with agoraphobia when I was 18 years old after a very intense abusive relationship. I didn't know what it was, it ruined my life, I failed college and got no where. I eventually got over it myself, I realise now that I never got rid of it, just maintained it if that makes sense. 2010 Oct, I had my very first panic attack going to a comedy gig, had panic attacks for 6 months, counselling helped. I was well for around a year then I got a job, got stressed and ended up having a new type of panic attack on a holiday my bf and I were on. It's been around 6 months and tbh, it's not improving at all. I want to take medicine because I'm tired now and wonder if I have something that can't be fixed with 'talking', maybe my head just is producing chemicals wrong?
Anyhow so I'm 24 and the doctor still says I'm too young, she tried me on diazipan and it made me hysterically cry, when I told her she said it was the relief ¬_¬ She wouldn't accept anything my first counsellor suggested either, saying she wasn't medically trained :/

I know she means well but she's being over personal with me and should just start trying to fix me instead heh!

Heads slowly going away now, sipping water, seems to be helping. How are you nowadays? xx
 
I can't PM yet btw, new accounts are restricted. x
 
oh ok, no worries hun, im so much better than i was thankou. i still have days where i just sort of go blurry and dont see peoples faces for a bit cos i just cant control my thoughts but that doesnt happen very often thank god. i am on 20mg of fluoxetine and that has helped a LOT. i was on sertraline before that and it helped too but gave me migraines so had to stop. i am totally shocked at your doctor, firstly for prescribing you diazepam for anxiety and secondly for saying you are too young for medication! i have had depression and anxiety in some form for years and have been on and off medication since the age of 18. diazepam is just like getting stoned legally! i definately think you need to try a different doctor love xxxx
 
I'm actually not in the 'area' for any decent doctors, to change within the practise I have to write to the practise manager and apart from the limitations my doctor isn't a bad doctor just kinda over protective or does what SHE thinks is best instead of what I need help with.

I'm moving to Lichfield in March so if nothing has improved I should have a new doctor then and can get the heavy help I may need.
I've 271cals left so far today.
 
Food

Lunch - half tin of beans on 1 slice of whole meal bread.

Dinner - eating inn, lemon and garlic chicken withsalad and new potatoes.

Snacks - dairylea dunker, cherries, shortbread, raspberry and white chocolate yoghurt, sweet chilli special k crisps, belvita breakfast, diet coke, water.

34cal left.
Over snacked today I think.
 
I'm still around, just not doing very well emotionally.
 
I had a bust up at work. I'm mainly uphappy when working where I do because of the problems I have with the people I work with.

I worked a 9 hour shift, everyone else on shift was working a 6 hour shift, starting after and leaving before me... everyone got a 30 minute break but me... Sometimes I understand we're busy and it's difficult to get a break, but I asked 4 times, one time stating why I was entitled (due to the shifts) and I got nothing, no response... even when I asked ot his face. He then left at 5:30pm, at 6pm, I went to the night boss, I'm leaving at 6:30pm because I haven't had the break I'm entitled too, I'm hungry and I've got a migraine now... she got angry with me saying i don't demand things, I said, I'm not demanding, I'm telling but if you won't let me go, then I'll quit instead..

I was physically shaking by this point and I think she realised, asked me to come to the staff room to talk and I burst into tears and basically screamed I'd had enough of being treated like a slave and being made to give up everything I was entitled too by law... blahblahblah. I've had a lot of stress from the year I've worked there.

Anyways, we had a meal that evening but because of the state I was in when I left, my boyfriend suggested calorie controlled McDonalds.

Sunday - 7pm - 10 Chicken Nuggets, 1 Sweet Chillli Chicken Sandwich, 1 box of Chicken Mcbites. Under Cal

Monday - 2 Pitas, 60gs of half fat mature cheese, 4 slices of Adams ham, 2 pitas 1TBSP of Ham. Muller rice apple, banana, Beefeater - Chicken Skewers on Linguine with Tomato and chilli sauce, garlic bread and trio of mini desserts Over Cal by 800.

Tuesday - Starbucks Skinny Hazelnut Hot Chocolate 222cal, Brown Pita 170cal, 1 Triangle of Dairylea 43cal, Adams Crumbed Ham 2 slice 56cal, Boots Shapers Caramel Bar 94cal.
Boots Shapers Salmon and Cucumber Sandwich 263Cal, Muller Corner, Greek Yohurt and Black Cherry 132cal, mini eggs 221cal.
Malteaster mini 62cal, banana. Diet coke with cherry 3cal. I worked at 7 hour shifted working burning 394cal.

After Sunday I was kinda beat and really unhappy Monday, Tuesday however I went to counselling and work and nothing really bothered me, today I signed on and hung out with a friend.


Wednesday - Weatherspoons, Moz, tomato and pesto panini with chips, diet pepsi 1020cal, Skinny Hazelnut Hot Chocolate Starbucks - 222 (these cals are with whipped cream which i don't have but can't find it without whipped cream). I'm then going to have a jerk chicken and rice ready meal for around 490cal and I burnt about 200 cals walking around the shops today...

It's not very clear, I'm kinda rushing it as I'm upset again today after some bad financial news... I feel kinda of worthless and I'm trying to not eat my emotions away, so far I am over cals today...
 
so youre over cals for a day - dont stress about it - at the moment you have more on your mind than food which is understandable. i know what its like to work somewhere that drains you physically and mentally and i had to get out of there for my own sanity as it made my anxiety so much worse. hugs to you, i hope youre not beating yourself up emotionally, keep your head up xxxxx
 
Funny enough that isn't what I'm stressing lol

I didn't eat until 5 today, just didn't think about it or feel hungry.

My shift on Tuesday was perfectly fine which is annoying. I can't leave because there's nothing for me without it, I can't get benefit if I quit :/ in March I'm moving into a house with my boyfriend so things can only go up eventually.

Todays food.

Jacket Potato 220g cut into chips, boiled and oven cooked in 1cal spray - 260cal.
Curry Sauce Mix - 41cal for 4TBSP (I think)

I made Meatballs and pasta, 3 meatballs 490cal, chopped tomatoes sauce 18cal, pasta 270cal.

Snacks - chocolate mini malteaster 62cal
Space raiders x 2 124cal.

2 cups of tea 0cal.

385 left so far.

Monday I was emotionally depressed but Tuesday not only did I have no panic attacks even though I had to go counselling and work I felt fine... Wednesday, I signed on, spent 3ish hours with a friend and then went home, found out that even though I was entitled to JSA I wasn't entitled to payment due to earning £88 a week, therefore I wasn't entitled to full housing and CT payment, meaning this last month I've not been paying rent and was suppose too! I'm £1435 in debt now :/ I broke down, shaking, crying, feeling hopeless... today I've been 'off' but at the same time, don't feel as bad as I felt Monday after Sunday.

I went the post office, no panic attacks.

I also got my last Christmas Present, a pair of CAT boots (womens winter boots), mid calf, fake fur, brown :) I'm in love with them... they brightened my day.
If I've repeated myself from last post, I apologise! xx
 
good to hear your spirits are up from monday and tuesday, money is always the thing we stress over isnt it. work, money and life in general! xxx
 
I'm struggling food wise, I'm sure I'm over yesterday but stopped logging, if I am its by a few hundred, used to be a few thousand... lol

The snow has sent my bf home from work but now he's stuck at his parents because of icy roads...
Why do we never prepare for weather like this? Other countries do!

Do you have a diary?
 
Saturday

Work 10-5:30pm, I wasn't suppose to be at work until then but the night shift guy didn't turn up so I ended up waiting around until they found cover, they didn't, they just couldn't keep me any longer without my permission.

Food
Breakfast - 2 wholemeal slices of toast with I Can't Believe It's Not Butter.

Lunch - Ham and Dairylea Pitta, 1 Ski Mousse, 1 can of Diet Coke.

Dinner - Medallion Steak with BBQ Beef Supernoodles and 3 Youngs mini flipper things.
McDonalds Mcflurry.

WW Dessert, Stars Crisps, 2 cups of tea, small amount of whiskey and coke.

Exercise 15 minutes of brisk walking, 2 hours of constantly but steady/slow walking (work).

I'm under my calories.

Tomorrow I have dog walking, a meal at my boyfriends parents and then panto in Birmingham with his mom.
Work is Monday.
 
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