Gemma's Diary

gemmy

Full Member
Sorry for the boring name!

My mission this year is to stop bingeing on chocolate & junk by giving up my trigger foods.

I've battled bulimia for years & this January I've decided that cutting out the foods that make me feel crap is the only long term solution.
I've had therapy which was useful to a certain degree.

Last night I bought mini packs of chocolate thinking I would have one a day within my calorie allowance to try to prove that I can manage these foods in small amounts. I binged on half of them before throwing the rest in the bin. I can't have them.

Despite trying lots of diets I've never tried cutting out the foods that seem to make me binge so I'm going to give this a very big effort. It's always been lose/binge/lose/binge so I'm hoping 2014 is the year I crack this for good.

I don't just want to lose weight, I want to feel in control & healthy. At the moment I'm scared I'm going to develop diabetes from the amount of sugar I eat.

My aim is for 1,200 net calories a day spent on nutritious food that fuels me, I'll be checking labels to avoid foods containing sugar as much as possible & will obviously not be eating chocolate & cakes etc!
 
My starting weight is 12 stone 4, I'm 5 foot 4 & a dress size 14-16 (mostly 16 but get into 14s in some shops)

The lowest I've ever been as an adult is 9 stone 13 & I was a size 10-12. That was 5 years ago & I look so healthy on photos from then.

My end goal is to get to 9 stone & a size 10.
 
Good luck Gemma. I hope you can break the cycle with binging. I would suggest doing it gradually. So rather than cold turkey on everything all at once which is a lot of pressure, perhaps break it into smaller targets. For example, you could try and give up chocolate for a month but concentrate purely on that so if you are craving it you can allow yourself flapjacks or other non-chocolate treats. Once you have successfully completed that, then move onto the next thing and so on. If that makes sense?

Obviously you know what is best , its just a suggestion that I find is working for me at the moment. I have given up chocolate for January and although I have been allowing myself other puddings (ie. crumble in a restuarant the other day rather than the choc brownie and icecream!) I do find that the pause makes me consider whether I really want something. If I do really want something sweet, I have to chose a non-choc item and often I don't fancy it enough to "spend" my calories on so I do without :) Also I keep nothing chocolate in the house so I only face the battle in supermarkets. I have been having a scrape of peanut butter on ricecakes when I get a "sweet craving" or the activia creamy pot things are good. I also find a mug of low cal hot chocolate helps me in the evenings after my dinner to round up the day.

Anyway what a ramble! Good luck!!!!
 
Thank you both, and thanks very much for your suggestion Berry. I do know what you mean about tackling one thing at a time, and if I give myself permission to have something non chocolate that might help, I'll keep you updated on how I get on x
 
Day 1

Porridge & banana for breakfast - 219 cals

Lunch is sweet potato falafel & salad. Greek yogurt, honey & grapes for dessert. 439 cals

Feeling good. I've made salmon & pesto for dinner & am just going to have carrots & butternut squash with that. I know it's only lunch time but it's amazing how much more positive I feel when I'm eating well
 
Another good day

Protein shake
Tomato & basil soup
Flapjack
Salmon & salad

All came in at just over 1,400 calories including 2 cups of coffee.
I signed up to the gym today so will be going on my lunchtimes at work.

Hope you're doing good too x
 
Still here still no chocolate! I feel really crap today though because I weighed myself for the first time in ages & I'm 8lb heavier than I thought!

I basically had some old manual scales that showed me as 12.4 & some digital scales that showed 12.12. I dropped the digital ones ages ago so figured they were wrong & that manual are sturdier & more predictable. Well today I bought another set of digital & they show 12.12 too. Gutted! I genuinely thought I'd broken the others.

I know I have weight to lose but seeing 8lb more than I thought has just made me feel rubbish, I fe like attempting a food replacement diet just to get some progress made on the weight front.
 
Hi gemmy, here to subscribe i too am a huge chocolate binger how are you getting on today x

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Hi Lisa

Thanks for the subscribe. Feeling much better today thank you! I have come out at just under 1,400 calories & all of it on good food so I'm feeling positive. I set an alarm on my phone & ate something small every 3 hours so I haven't had a "meal" today, more snacks. I had soup, prawns, Greek yogurt, blueberries & protein shakes. I'm still trying to keep away from sugar, especially after watching Are You Addicted to Sugar? last night . Did you see it? X
 
Downloaded Diet Piggyback to my phone. It tracks your cravings & calculates how many calories you've saved from not eating it. Should be quite an eye opener!
 
A good day
Fighting the urge to go on a VLCD but I know from the past that I can't stick to those. Calories today came in at 1,043. Thinking of throwing 2 or 3 fast days in to speed weight loss up without being as strict as something like Cambridge diet
 
Yep I saw addicted to sugar. Wasn't ad interesting as I'd hoped. Have you read a book called beyond chocolate? I have heard its meant to be very good. X

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Gemmy I personally couldn't do a vlcd I know people rave about them. Im too greedy. X

Sent from my GT-I9305 using MiniMins.com mobile app
 
Scales showing 12.4lb - somehow dropping 8lb?! I'm happy for the drop but I think it just made me realise I shouldn't be ruled by the scales - as long as I feel I'm improving my health & my relationship with food then that's progress for me.
I had eggs Benedict for breakfast this morning - gorgeous & just over 330 calories. I've done tonnes of ironing & cleaning & am ready for a nice weekend with my family.

Hope you're doing well x
 
Going to get rid of scales & weigh weekly at Boots - mine keeping jumping from day to day & I don't trust them.
I've adjusted my goal in MFP to lose 1lb a week, I feel better already for that. Instead of pushing myself to lose as quick as possible I want to stop the yo-yo by setting less gruelling goals. I will be at goal by 26 July at that rate which is around my daughters 4th birthday & my 10th anniversary with my partner so they're really good events to aim for I think
 
Going to get rid of scales & weigh weekly at Boots - mine keeping jumping from day to day & I don't trust them. I've adjusted my goal in MFP to lose 1lb a week, I feel better already for that. Instead of pushing myself to lose as quick as possible I want to stop the yo-yo by setting less gruelling goals. I will be at goal by 26 July at that rate which is around my daughters 4th birthday & my 10th anniversary with my partner so they're really good events to aim for I think

Mine said 14st 11 on Monday morning, had a naughty takeaway Monday night yet went down to 14st 8 Tuesday !
Think I'm guna start getting weighed in boots too!
 
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