Hello, I'm new to the site, but definitely not new to dieting! I've been losing and regaining the same 1-2 stone since I was 17 so for half my life :sigh:. I've made a promise to myself that I'm going to sort myself out before my 35th Birthday (in December). It's not the first time I've said that of course, so I'm hoping that making it public might help me get there this time.
I'm currently at my heaviest weight ever so I'm feeling very fed up. I'm planning to use calorie counting to get to my goal as I've done it before and it's worked really well for me.... many times! I'm using MFP and have a daily calorie target of 1,500 which feels doable. I'm hoping to lose 2 stone by the end of August, but more importantly, I'm a bridesmaid for my sister in 6 weeks and my dress is currently very tight (it fits but I worry I'll bust the zip if I sit down!) so I really want to lose enough to feel more comfortable in it. I'm trying not to put a weight value on that as I'll stress myself out but I think the best part of a stone would be a big help!
What else.... the reason I'm such a yo-yoer is that I have a real problem with binge eating. It started when I was a child - long story but in a nutshell, my Mum used to be really strict about food and if you didn't finish every thing that was on your plate, there were no treats. I absolutely detest potatoes in every form (even chips!) so I never once cleared my plate and I was never allowed any treats. The potato hatred also caused a lot of arguments and I used to sneak chocolate biscuits up to my bedroom and eat them in secret to make myself feel better.... and a really bad habit was formed. As an adult, I swing between dieting really well for weeks at a time, then something happens to stress me out or upset me and I revert straight back to stuffing myself full of chocolate and biscuits to make myself feel better - except it really makes me feel even worse so then I eat more, get stuck in an overly-strict dieting/bingeing cycle for weeks and wind up regaining everything I've lost plus a bit more
. I know what I do and why I do it, but I still haven't figured out how to stop it. I know that if I can't get some balance into my eating habits now then I'll spend the rest of my life doing this and I really don't want to do that.... it's exhausting and depressing for a start.
So, my plan is to get myself down to a healthy BMI by doing 30 mins of exercise and eating at 1,500 calories a day (or 1,300 calories at the very least, so not too strict), and then sort out how to stop bingeing once and for all. Not sure whether I can do that on my own or whether I will need some professional help, but I'll figure that out once I get there! I've tried that in the past but I wasn't ready to be honest enough about it - maybe being honest in this diary will help me get over that shame/
embarrassment/unwillingness to 'bad mouth' my Mum!
I started last week and have had a good first week (5.5lbs off) so feeling quite motivated at the moment. I've also got my bridesmaid dress hanging on the door so that I see it several times a day. I'll try it on again when I've lost another 5lbs and hopefully it will fit better!
Wow, mammoth post - the rest will be much shorter, I promise!!
I'm currently at my heaviest weight ever so I'm feeling very fed up. I'm planning to use calorie counting to get to my goal as I've done it before and it's worked really well for me.... many times! I'm using MFP and have a daily calorie target of 1,500 which feels doable. I'm hoping to lose 2 stone by the end of August, but more importantly, I'm a bridesmaid for my sister in 6 weeks and my dress is currently very tight (it fits but I worry I'll bust the zip if I sit down!) so I really want to lose enough to feel more comfortable in it. I'm trying not to put a weight value on that as I'll stress myself out but I think the best part of a stone would be a big help!
What else.... the reason I'm such a yo-yoer is that I have a real problem with binge eating. It started when I was a child - long story but in a nutshell, my Mum used to be really strict about food and if you didn't finish every thing that was on your plate, there were no treats. I absolutely detest potatoes in every form (even chips!) so I never once cleared my plate and I was never allowed any treats. The potato hatred also caused a lot of arguments and I used to sneak chocolate biscuits up to my bedroom and eat them in secret to make myself feel better.... and a really bad habit was formed. As an adult, I swing between dieting really well for weeks at a time, then something happens to stress me out or upset me and I revert straight back to stuffing myself full of chocolate and biscuits to make myself feel better - except it really makes me feel even worse so then I eat more, get stuck in an overly-strict dieting/bingeing cycle for weeks and wind up regaining everything I've lost plus a bit more
. I know what I do and why I do it, but I still haven't figured out how to stop it. I know that if I can't get some balance into my eating habits now then I'll spend the rest of my life doing this and I really don't want to do that.... it's exhausting and depressing for a start. So, my plan is to get myself down to a healthy BMI by doing 30 mins of exercise and eating at 1,500 calories a day (or 1,300 calories at the very least, so not too strict), and then sort out how to stop bingeing once and for all. Not sure whether I can do that on my own or whether I will need some professional help, but I'll figure that out once I get there! I've tried that in the past but I wasn't ready to be honest enough about it - maybe being honest in this diary will help me get over that shame/
embarrassment/unwillingness to 'bad mouth' my Mum!
I started last week and have had a good first week (5.5lbs off) so feeling quite motivated at the moment. I've also got my bridesmaid dress hanging on the door so that I see it several times a day. I'll try it on again when I've lost another 5lbs and hopefully it will fit better!
Wow, mammoth post - the rest will be much shorter, I promise!!
