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Thread: Humour - Food with no Calories!! - let's add to the list!

  1. #1
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    Humour - Food with no Calories!! - let's add to the list!


    Let's see how many more we can add to this list!

    1.If you eat something and no one sees you eat it, it has no calories.

    2.If you drink a diet soda with a candy bar, the calories in the candy bar are cancelled out by the diet soda.

    3.Food used for medicinal purposes NEVER count, such as hot chocolate, brandy, toast and Sara Lee Cheesecake.

    4.If you fatten up everyone else around you, then you look thinner.

    5.Cookie pieces contain no fat-- the process of breaking causes fat leakage.

    6.Things licked off knives and spoons have no calories if you are in the process of preparing something. Examples are peanut butter on a knife making a sandwich and ice cream on a spoon making a sundae.

    7.Food licked off your fingers doesn't have calories. Example: cake batter , cookie dough, frosting, etc.

    8.Foods that have the same color have the same number of calories. Examples are:
    spinach and pistachio ice cream; mushrooms and white chocolate. NOTE: Chocolate is a universal color and may be substituted for any other food color.

    9. Foods that are frozen have no calories because calories are units of heat. Examples are ice cream, frozen pies, and Popsicles.

    10. Foods eaten while watching a major event on television do not count. Major events include: Superbowl, Hockey Finals, Indy 500, Jerry Springer show.

    11. Powerbars and other type energy bars make you thinner. In all my years of exercising (at least three times a year) I have only seen thin people eating energy bars. Therefore they must make you thin.

    12. Snickers is the same as an energy bar (see #11)

    13. Tasting other people's food does not add to your calorie count.

    14. Whatever you just ordered at that restaurant is healthy, as long as it has "salad" in its name.

  2. #2
    I will get to goal .....
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    15. Anything eaten standing up - it falls straight into your bowels and is hence expelled at next poopage. Whereas sitting down, the food has to meander around all your bits and hence is absorbed along the way
    Dobbie







    LOSSES:

    Week 1: 8.2lbs (SS)
    Week 2: 3.7 (SS+)
    Week 3: 2.5 (SS+/810)
    Week 4: STS (810/WW)
    Week 5: ??? (WW)



  3. #3
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    Current BMI: 40.2
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    Statistics:
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    That piece of cheese left over after grating, does not contain any calories...

  4. #4
    The Lovely James Hetfield
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    17. That ice cream put in a blender to make a shake doesn't contain calories, after all it's a shake & that's what we have on Cd when we're SSing!!!

  5. #5
    I will get to goal .....
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    18. Anything liquid .... how can it have calories when there's no solids?!
    Dobbie







    LOSSES:

    Week 1: 8.2lbs (SS)
    Week 2: 3.7 (SS+)
    Week 3: 2.5 (SS+/810)
    Week 4: STS (810/WW)
    Week 5: ??? (WW)



  6. #6
    I will get to goal .....
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    19. Anything really really sticky or chewy .... all the energy expended licking/chewing cancels out the calories in said food
    Dobbie







    LOSSES:

    Week 1: 8.2lbs (SS)
    Week 2: 3.7 (SS+)
    Week 3: 2.5 (SS+/810)
    Week 4: STS (810/WW)
    Week 5: ??? (WW)



  7. #7
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    20 Nothing has any calories on a Friday

    21 Alcohol stops having calories once you cant remember drinking it!

  8. #8
    Loves Life!

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    Statistics:
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    Weight to Lose: 1st5lb
    % Lost 42.52%
    22 Having anything to eat after a weigh in does not count as calories either! - providing you start afresh the next day!!!










    I'm a Weighty Matey!!


    Mini Goal:
    From 11/05/10 - 21/12/10 - aim to loose 32lbs! (average 1lb a week) - target weight then: 11 stone 1lb

  9. #9
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    fruit its so healthy surely that cant have calories.


    EXETER & DEVON CAMBRIDGE COUNSELLOR





  10. #10
    Longing 2 b a yummy mummy
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    Goal Date: ASAP


    BMI Information:
    Start BMI: 40.2
    Current BMI: 40.2
    Goal BMI: 26.4


    Statistics:
    Weight to Lose: 5st10lb
    % Lost 0%
    24. When hubby has a bite of your chocolate bar, then the calories are automatically halved!

  11. #11
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    BMI Information:
    Start BMI: 33.6
    Current BMI: 31.8
    Goal BMI: 25.2


    Statistics:
    Total Weight Loss: 0st11lb
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    25: If you didnt cook it, it doesnt count (ie: restaurant/fast food)

  12. #12
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    26. Chips taken from someone else's plate!

  13. #13
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    BMI Information:
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    Current BMI: 25.3
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    Statistics:
    Total Weight Loss: 5st6lb
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    % Lost 33.33%
    Food that's bought for you has no calories

  14. #14
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    28 kids leftovers or food 'tasted' before serving to kids is calorie free.
    xxxxsharon

  15. #15
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    Any food eaten in the dark (if you can't see it, how can it be there?)
    Cheryl x x x


    Lost over 8 stones on Lipotrim/Cambridge

    Back to a VLCD to shift a few pounds gained after quitting the ciggies on 31/12/09!

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    Off plan now until back from holidays x x











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