That Girl in My Photos!

[westiegirl]

Yesterday afternoon I sat and looked through a load of old photos on my PC, most of which are from the last 5 or 6 years.

In the great majority of them I looked at them and thought that I looked really ugly and totally awful. Looking at more recent photos I was happier after losing weight on LL and CD. In my most recent photos however I have put about 2 1/2 stone back on and whilst I don't think that I look gorgeous, I do think that I look perfectly fine!

The thing is that I am not really that different in any of the photos but I think that they are all linked to my state of mind at the time of taking. In the older photos I felt fat and ugly and my relationship at the time was breaking down. I didn't feel attractive to my other half at all and therefore when I look at those photos I think I see what I felt.

During my weight loss the compliments were flying but I still don't feel I look that great. Again, my mindset was that I was still not a worthwhile person and once again I felt ugly therefore I think my photos from that period are ugly.

More recently, even with a bit of extra weight on me again I look at my photos and I am generally happy with what I see. My life at the moment is busy and fulfilling. Whilst not in a long term relationship, those people I have seen/am seeing seem to appreciate me and I believe what they say. I have belief in myself so therefore I believe them and consequently I seem to like the girl in the photos better.

I wonder how many of us feel like this?

[pandora]

hey hun,
i'm certainly in an "ugly" stage of my life at the moment. I had a fab summer, when i felt good, but it has all slid away since then.
As we have said b4, u & i relate alot in the way we feel, i'd just like to be able to get to where u r/ i was in the summer !
laa
xx

[DQ]

I think a LOT of us feel like this. The way we view ourselves, how we feel is down to where our heads are more than how we physically look. Even at over 25 stone, I never had a problem with partners/physical relationships - what I did have a problem with was how I felt about myself - my sense of worth, insecurity, etc

I am hoping that following a course I undertook I understand myself a bit better now, and am able to work on my head whilst working on my body at the same time, and this time make it to the finish line.

Not an easy journey for any of us, but at least we have a place like this that we can share.

[westiegirl]

I know that you are struggling at the moment hun. Isn't it odd how our heads/minds are just so fickle!!!

In some of the photos I was over 16 or 17 stone, and looking at them I am never going back there again! I'm eating at the moment but I'm doing a restart in January. Trying to maintain at the moment, which I have done for the last couple of months so early next year I will start the final leg of my journey!

I wish I could let you see yourself through my eyes, because you are just fab!!!

[westiegirl]

I think a LOT of us feel like this. The way we view ourselves, how we feel is down to where our heads are more than how we physically look. Even at over 25 stone, I never had a problem with partners/physical relationships - what I did have a problem with was how I felt about myself - my sense of worth, insecurity, etc

I am hoping that following a course I undertook I understand myself a bit better now, and am able to work on my head whilst working on my body at the same time, and this time make it to the finish line.

Not an easy journey for any of us, but at least we have a place like this that we can share.

At my highest weight I had a major problem with relationships but that was as a result of my negative relationship with myself.

My head seems to be sorted in terms of how I feel about me but that has the negative impact because my social life is better I fall off the wagon more easily. When I did LL first time I didn't have a life so sticking to it wasn't so hard!

You are so right though that I am grateful that we all have this place to help each other through!

[DQ]

It definitely has so much to do with our relationships with ourselves - what we will or won't accept for and to ourselves.

[diamond787]

i know what you mean, i never ever thought of myself as anything near perfect, but when i have my make up and hair done, and wear nice clothes now i think yeah and have more confidence, also im very lucky that my partner is amazing and loves me no matter what, i cannot wait till i lose my weight coz i know than ill be happy inside!!!

[Summerskye]

I just think you're gorgeous inside and out - nuff said!

Love ya!

[Julie84]

I cam most definitely identify with what you are saying. About 4-5 years ago I felt miserable. I felt fat and ugly (and certanily other people also said as much to me too).

Now, I have ditched those 'friends' and have felt much happier and complete than I ever have. I don't *feel* much larger than I did those years ago but I'm actually about 7 stones heavier!! Looking at older photos, I am no longer embarrassed, I just feel sad that I felt fat and ugly (and was a slim but curvy size 12 - 14).

Hopefully I will get back there and be able to enjoy it this time!

[westiegirl]

I'm glad that I'm not alone feeling like this.

Our minds are funny old things!!!!