I'm an ultimate failure! Desperation

[fairy-mary]

So sorry everyone! I'm not really into self pity! But I'm really struggling! I just can't seem to stop eating or thinking abut food for very long a all! I've done so well on this plan before but I seem to be failing so badly now! Yesterday I took my 4 kids to cinema and felt fine having water. And not a bite!! But in the afternoon I have a nibble of this and that and I feel out of control and every day I feel so guilty and terrible! I've been on this supposed SS for a month ow and a stone down but I just feel like. Could be doing so much better. I kept the weight off s well last time but then I started eating more and more and I wonder if ill be like this forever! So sorry! What a miserable post! I am just feeling so despondent!

[fairy-mary]

So sorry! Just re read my post! What misery!
i know what I need to do....
(1) stick to the plan100%
(2) drink more water
(3) distract myself when I'm hungry
(4) remind myself that one bite s just never enough for me
(5) stop wanting to reward myself with food
(6) remind myself often about the reasons I want to ditch this weight
(7) get more active! I've a basket of ironing I could have done instead of scouring to cupboards!
(8) treat myself in other ways other than food! Hot bath/fav tv programme/paint nails
---by cheating I am just drawing the whole process out! From now I'm back on 100%. I want to eat and think about food differently. I don't always want to feel so greedy. Sorry for the low spot! If kicked my own backside! Thanks x now where's the water!!!!!!

[Kira]

Awh! Fairy-Mary, I feel for you! I completely understand how you feel. It is so much harder doing a vlcd having previously done it. Everything you have written is spot on and the only thing I would add is that you have to mentally prepare to do this and really WANT to do it this time around. I know myself as I spent months and months failing to stick to it. I've still not reached target and whilst on average I maintained throughout January I have now gained a few more pounds and I am struggling to remain focused on calorie counting and using some vlcd products to make the calorie counting easier. So in respect of the mental aspect I am in that same place as you and need to really WANT to continue this journey (and it doesn't matter which method of weightloss) but just to stick to plan in order to lose weight. If you blip don't use that as an excuse to continue eating. It may be worth doing SS+ just so that you don't waver and cave in? Even 810 would be a good start. Doing vlcd and in particular SS is very very hardcore and many of us have failed at it including myself. However, if you got one day under your belt it may help you get on track if you want the quicker results initially.

[Lily]

Nope, sorry. The post of "ultimate failure" has already been filled.

You can't be an ultimate failure if you're posting here. That shows grit and determination.

What's your head saying when you have a nibble of this and a nibble of that? Is it saying, "Oh, it doesn't matter, it's low carb, it won't hurt?" Or is it saying, "Oh go on, there aren't many calories in that - it'll be fine!"? Or is it saying, "Never mind, you can always start again tomorrow. It'll only take a few days to put the damage right."?

All very familiar to those of us who've been around here a while. It's quite possible you've heard that voice say all 3 of those things (I know I have!).

Guess what? The voice is wrong! It does matter, it will hurt and you do mind!

The only cure is to stop nibbling. To do this diet properly. You might be ok doing SS+ as Kira suggests but I find when I'm in the place you're in now that the only way is to get back on the 100% wagon. Do it like the first time. Get obsessive about your water intake and not having anything that isn't on the plan. Go right back to basics and stick to shakes and soups and porridge for the first 2 weeks - no bars, mix-a-mousse or water flavouring until week 3.

You can do this. That break away with your husband probably messed with your head, even though it didn't seem to hurt at the time. Your brain starts doing all sorts of calculations about what you wish you'd eaten and how long it'll be before you can do it again. That's why it's sooo hard to take a leave of absence from this diet. But it can be done. There are lots of people around here at the moment who are proving it can be.

So, gonna join us on Planet Hardcore Cambridge Weight Plan?

[fairy-mary]

Thankyou for the reply! Iv never felt so much emotion about eating! It's been so much harder having social things to go to! A wedding here a night away there. How do people get around these things???

[Lily]

By not eating. It's actually easier than you might imagine. Sit down do's (weddings) are trickier but you can always pretend your tummy's been a bit poorly and just say no to whatever's being offered.

I feel your pain cos I'm having to navigate around all sorts of eating opportunities right now. But it's better for my sanity not to eat. You'll find the people you're with mind more than you do, LOL.

Alternatively, you take the low carb option wherever possible - treat it like a SS+ or 810 day. I find I can't do that just yet - to me it still feels like cheating when I know I should be SS-ing. But you have much less weight to lose than me so you might find you're fine doing that.

[fairy-mary]

Your right it is tricky when every e is sitting down looking at you! But i find not drinking easy and just take sparkling water as it looks like a drink! Buffets are easy least as not so obvious. I think iv just been letting myself get board. Was easier first time as I was 15 1/2 st and seen a dramatic loss every week. 1/2 stone or 4-5 lbs where as now its probably percentage wise the same but 2-3 lbs or 1-2 feels so disheartening when you think 3 shakes a day!!! Iv ordered another 2 week on top of the 1 1/2 weeks I already have here so I'm going to stick to it and really make it work over feb and review at the end! Thanks lily! It's so easy to feel so alone doing this diet. It really helped me yesterday reading your replies

[Kira]

Hope you have a good day today Fairy, and Lily is a fantastic mentor for becoming a Born again CD virgin! I think the more attention we draw to ourselves that we are not eating or dieting is when everyone notices, otherwise I don't think they really do as they are too busy eating themselves! The icky tummy works a treat or feel a bit nauseous but I'm ok etc excuses are great at sit down meals. Just never ever say you are on a diet or trying to cut down because in my experience you will find yourself being force fed! God forbid it's an Indian wedding and anyone finds out you are on a diet! My Indian family treat the word diet as if one is terminally ill and try and feed you the last supper - just in case!

[fairy-mary]

Thanks kira! I feel a whole lot better today! It's really such a mental battle and keeping focused. I'm not even hungry today which is probably due to my determination. Yesterday is in the past now and I am feeling much better! Even though its pancake day! I couldn't care less! I want to get to that goal! Thanks girls! Your support really does help as no one really understands the diet until you've done it!

[chixie]

Oh Fairy-Mary, don't despair! You have already shown that you know what to do with your list. I started SS last Monday for the first time ever as I was very sceptical about it. Once I made the decision to do it, I researched it online like crazy, wanting to understand everything including the pitfalls. I reached ketosis on Friday and have to say that the hunger pangs aren't so bad. However I found at the weekend if I was bored then all of a sudden I was ravenous....I think the mind plays tricks on you and tries to drive us to the things that we did before....I'm bored so let's eat!! The other thing that is hard to get used to is feeling so weak after doing normal household chores but I know I have to slow down and let my body get used to it. I have a weekend away in 2 wks time and I am dreading it! I've already spoken to my CWPC about it and she will go through ways that I can address it next week. Keep going!, we're all here doing it with you!

[fairy-mary]

It's just our battle I think! Trying to juggle living with eating/dieting! I am just so naturally greedy I think. Ill fees the kids so healthy and am so strict on them not grazing or snacking! But mean while I would have been nibbling or stuffing something! So my actions don't seen to keep up with my intentions! But I want up be more healthier about food for them as I can't seem to leave anything once I start I'm like a machine ! Be it a
King size Easter egg or meal! Ill just keep going untill its all done! I hope to get a healthier appetite after this. As I can be planning the next meal while eating the current one at times!

[chixie]

I'm the same babe. Thats why I'm loving SS as the whole food issue goes away. I'm not tormenting myself about what I can or can't eat as I only have to choose porridge, soup or shake. I just need that break of mental anguish that food gives me all the time.

[chixie]

I'm the same babe. Thats why I'm loving SS as the whole food issue goes away. I'm not tormenting myself about what I can or can't eat as I only have to choose porridge, soup or shake. I just need that break of mental anguish that food gives me all the time.

Oh how ironic life can be...........I feel that I was deluding myself for the past 9 days that all was good and I was in control, how wrong I was.............I'm on day 10 and I honestly just want to stuff my face with whatever I can get my hands on. I'm absolutely starving, weak, cold and miserable and I don't know if I'm going to be strong enough to get through the rest of today without eating. It hasn't helped as my husband has just told me that I don't need to diet and to have something to eat if it's making me miserable..............gah! Maybe my initial willpower has just evaporated and I was wrong to think I could seriously do this. I'm so torn, I don't know what to do

[Kira]

No!! ChiXie don't do it! Don't undo your hard work of 10 days! You have almost completed 2 weeks! The weightloss will be worth it!

You will end up,over eating rather than eating within the calories required for you maintain. Do check your bmi maybe you only need to lose 3 stones and no 5 st on your profile. Ask yourself why you chose a vlcd. It's hard core and for a reason. The losses are quicker and the hunger feeling will,either pass or,our need to distract yourself. Don't let yourself have the feeling of d,eprivation.

Presumablymou started this for you? Not your husband but for,yourself? It may be easier for,him to have you less irritable which this diet can make you. But hang in there.

[fairy-mary]

Same here!! I go to bed shortly after the kids as through the day not too bad! Usual cleaning/washing etc keeps me going and focusing on water consumption!! But at night I'm
Like a prowling starved animal!!! But in bed! Teeth cleaned Hand cream on and sky plus charged and ready to go I can forget about it a little! And indulge in kardashians/dog bounty hunter heaven! Keep going! You can do it! X