It's a bitter sweet symphony....
Been feeling really really emotional the last 2 days, everything seems to make me want to cry.
Sagging skin is at the forefront of my mind at all times! My stomach arms and thigh's are getting smaller, but the skin is just massing around there and it isn't moving!
I'm afraid to start my new job and I'm starting to dread my holiday in July too, I'm starting work in a school on april the 22nd and I'm petrified.
Kid's are cruel and I just know the 1st thing the student's are going to hit me with is my weight,
I'm losing it but as I plod along my skin is getting worse and worse and I don't want to spend this holiday, which should be a victory, covering up and hating myself and not being able to enjoy myself,
I'm just so scared of losing it all and still feeling like a mass of flab, not a person.
Just a shapeless thing waddling about the place, that's how I've felt for 5yrs and what if I finish the diet get to my goal weight and still have so much loose skin I'll never feel "normal" again?
I'm working hard to become what I want to be but, studying, working and dieting while maintaining my family at home is such a struggle every single day. It'll all be for nothing and it feels like all my future happiness is hinged on my body and getting my confidence back.
I'm not a rich person and on a level 3 teaching assistant's salary I certainly can't afford surgery.
The NHS are helping people like me less and less and I'm just afraid to get to my goal and it not be all I'd hoped for... Off for yet another cry xxx
Just needed to get that out.