It's a bitter sweet symphony....
Been feeling really really emotional the last 2 days, everything seems to make me want to cry.
Sagging skin is at the forefront of my mind at all times! My stomach arms and thigh's are getting smaller, but the skin is just massing around there and it isn't moving!
I'm afraid to start my new job and I'm starting to dread my holiday in July too, I'm starting work in a school on april the 22nd and I'm petrified.
Kid's are cruel and I just know the 1st thing the student's are going to hit me with is my weight,
I'm losing it but as I plod along my skin is getting worse and worse and I don't want to spend this holiday, which should be a victory, covering up and hating myself and not being able to enjoy myself,
I'm just so scared of losing it all and still feeling like a mass of flab, not a person.
Just a shapeless thing waddling about the place, that's how I've felt for 5yrs and what if I finish the diet get to my goal weight and still have so much loose skin I'll never feel "normal" again?
I'm working hard to become what I want to be but, studying, working and dieting while maintaining my family at home is such a struggle every single day. It'll all be for nothing and it feels like all my future happiness is hinged on my body and getting my confidence back.
I'm not a rich person and on a level 3 teaching assistant's salary I certainly can't afford surgery.
The NHS are helping people like me less and less and I'm just afraid to get to my goal and it not be all I'd hoped for... Off for yet another cry xxx
Just needed to get that out.
Chrissy, no crying Have hugs instead.
Its always a worry about saggy skin and I completely understand those fears, I know when I have lost weight in the past, saggy skin was one of those always there in my mind things. This is the first time doing the cd and last time I did ww and even loosing a lot slower, my skin was starting to be a bit meh although I suspect it will be worse on cd since the losses are so much quicker.
I think you need to look deeper, does skinny = happy? Does skinny = confidence. I know on the surface it can, however its not the solution to your life's well being, just a part of it.
chin up and don't let this stop you, id rather just the excess skin than excess skin filled with fat
Also, as far as the kids are concerned, you could use any negative comments for positive, if any of them say anything it could open a discussion for healthy eating and exercise, explain to them that you got it wrong and you are fixing it by trying to get healthy again and that your body isn't working as well as it should because you didn't look after it as well as you could? (not sure what age you will be working with but my lot have had healthy living drummed into them since year 1).
PM me if you have skype or something and a mic / app on phone, whatever, if you want a decent chat, I really do understand.
muchos loves n hugs xx
Thanks for that, i needed it, I'm feeling a bit better today, after discussing it with my OH and him seeing that I'm genuinely terrified he has said if it's really that bad when I've lost the weight he'll help me to pay for surgery as long as I maintain for 6 month's and my skin hasn't improved, so I'm feeling happier with it now, I think it's been a combination of everything lately, not being able to have a social life (I'm a really sociable person so it's been very tough) losing my job (I have a new one now though) and the general stress that comes with raising a child with autism, it just piles up a bit xx
I hope you are feeling a bit better today, you are doing so well don't let yourself get hung up on some of the less important things.
To try and put your mind at ease on one point I am a teacher with a BMI over 40 and no students have ever commented on my weight (secondary school). Kids are a lot more sensitive than you would think. In fact when I lost 6 stone a few years back it was actually comical how students would try and compliment me without actually acknowledging that I had been fat to begin with, and when I mentioned it they would be 'you weren't fat miss'. Honestly, I think you will be fine.
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