tales of a 2 bar nightmare!!

[cherylxx]

Once upon a time there was a rather large woman who made a even larger mistake.
she woke feeling well and full of life but she had a very busy day ahead of her.
Before she even realised, she was out of the house and busy running here and there. She realised at about 3pm that she was really hungry and suddenly realised in horror that she hadnt had her first shake of the day.
But, on she went with her busy day, ignoring the hunger pangs as she passed mcdonalds and kfc and blanking out the smell of the local chinese chippy as it attacked her nostrils on her way home at 4.45pm.
By the time she got in it was almost 5pm and she as good as broke her neck as she dived over the teenagers sprawled all over her living room in her haste to get to the kitchen to grab a shake.
In pure laziness she ended up opting for a CD toffee bar which she devoured quickly and felt much better (and secretly quite proud of herself).
at about 9pm she had her second shake which consisted of a chocolate mousse trifle (yummy) but as bedtome approached she wondered how on earth she was going to manage another shake before bed.
she was already a little concerned as she had only managed to drink 2 litres water as opposed to her usually 4-6 litres.
Finally she decided to risk having another bar (of the orange variety). she knew the bars could knock ketosis but she wasnt in ketosis anyway due to being really sick and on antibiotics, so she risked it.
within the hour she was on the move again, only this trip wasnt pleasant , she spent the next 25 minutes running back and forth to the toilet where she discovered that 2 CD bars in one day is a very severe remedy for constipation (worth remembering, she thought)
Eventually she got to bed and vowed never to try and cram 3 shakes into a 5 hour period again and definately never to risk 2 bars again (unless the constipation monster has her captive)
cherylxx

[Lyndsey]

Oh Cheryl, I know i shouldnt laugh but the way you told that was so funny.

Hope you movements are back to normal today. x x

[Dragonfly]

Feeling really bad for you. How are you now?

[FunellaFox]

Oh Cheryl - that really cheered me up on a dull Monday afternoon!!
Thanks hun and I do hope you're feeling better x

[cherylxx]

thank guys,
im feeling much better today.
havent had a bar today and i think i might give it a miss today to be honest. lol
glad ive caused a few smiles . nice to be able to create a few smiles from an unfortunate incident.
hope u r all having a very good day.
cherylxx

[Sarette]

Love the way you wrote that, hope you are feeling better!! xx

[Spikylady]

Brilliantly written.... I hope you have recovered! X

[misscheeky]

aww cheryl, glad your ok now pet

[Mary Poppins]

A nightmare...but very amusing to read!!

[blue_grapefruit]

Publish it

Cheered me right up - mind having bathroom issues of my own (but from the other end) xx

[cherylxx]

hi all and ty for ur replies.
nice to get so many replies from all u lovely people.
cherylxx

[Chebs]

Oh dear luvvie! I ate a pack of sugar free mentos once - let's just say that, um, no one could use the toilet that night. Except me! Must be the artificial sweetener..........

[dietingqueen]

Hi Cheryl.... nicely told!!!!

you should look at writing... I have had that happen to me too... and had an accident...tmi i know!!!!!

Yuck!!!!

Nas x

[Tazzi]

You really should consider writing short stories....that was FABULOUS!!......

Well done on keeping the Hunger Monster at bay all day though...What a feat!

Taz x

[cherylxx]

lol, funny u should say that cause i am an author by profession, working on my first major full length book at the moment .
dont think the antics of a dieters toiletry needs would hit the big time but who knows. lol
cherylxx