Suggesting diets to people! - good or bad idea?

[randomgurl]

I've just spent a nice xmas with my family. I had to come of cd (not enough supplies to last over xmas - oops!) and I did end up slightly overindulging for the past few days, but back SS tomorrow! (Well, ater today!)

I haven't seen my family in a few months, so it was really nice to see them especially getting lots of nice comments about the weight loss!

However, while recently I've shrunk... my brothers really been putting it on. I brought him a sweater for x-mas.... he asked if I had the reciept as it was a wee bit small, I didn't have the heart to say it was already the biggest size.

I've also noticed the amount he's been eating recently... like even if he's just had seconds he'll go make himself a snack straight after...

I'm not sure if it would be appropriate to bring up his weight with him? In some ways I'm thinking to leave things, as it always embarrassed me the few times people did about mine. (It even does having lost some, knowing I still have quite a way to go). I also don't want to be one of these smug people that having lost a bit, think they know everything (again, especially as I still am far from slim myself!)

But.... another part of me is wondering if I should, knowing its easy to delude yourself your just 'naturally big' or that noone else is noticing quite how much your putting on. Maybe introduce him to CD, or places like minimins.... admit to him how much I've got out of it (I'm quite dismissive, possibly still not wanting to admit I was bordering on clinically obese and how I felt about it... though im sure people probably knew!)

So... the point of this rambling... before you started shrinking... if someone had sat you down and adviced you you needed to do some about it, would it have spurred you into action? Or been horrifying?
I think if he could get fitter it could do wonders to his confidence (he has a really bad self image and low confidence) ... but is it more of a personal thing, and a point people have to reach on their own?

Happy xmas everyone!

RG x

[Bijoux]

I come from a family of small people, my mum is a tiny size 8, always has been since she was a young girl and my dad and brother are all well built and muscly. Before I started dieting they always mentioned that I was gaining weight and the reason I started dieting was because of a wager I set with my brother. That was the kick I needed and now I realise I need to do it for me. You should feel comfortable enough to say literally anything to your family. Perhaps just like me, it's the kick he needs to realise he needs to do something.

[Will b slim]

Hiya,

I think sometimes when you are in a downward spiral you become 'blind' to your bad eating behaviours, then you start eating more and before you know it you are totally out of control.

A friend of mine told me about her friend who had fantastic weight losses every week and her non-judgemental attitude really spurred me on.

I think your help at this point to your brother would really help him, especially if you have a good relationship (like it sounds like you have!)

Good luck in whatever you decide
Will b slim

[KD]

I'm not sure if it would be appropriate to bring up his weight with him? In some ways I'm thinking to leave things, as it always embarrassed me the few times people did about mine.

I believe you should always proceed with caution, unless you are 100% sure the advice will be gladly received.

But, you could talk about your own experiences. How you probably reached for the nibbles after your body had had enough. That you probably ignored the waistline rather than face up to it etc. How you were pleased you found the diet and can get back to being slim again. How you wished you had done so before it became more of a problem etc.

Then, hopefully, he might just think about it himself.

I think that it's rare for people to be successful at diets when they've been prompted to do one by others.

They may succeed short term, but unless it really is something they want to do anyway for themselves, they will often fail after a short time.

If they want it for themselves too, then okay but how many of us have known exactly what we need to do, or what we should do, but still don't succeed. The time may come when it's right for him....then it'll work.

Nothing would make me dive into the biscuit tin quicker than when someone suggested I went on a diet.

I also believe that going on a diet unless you have explored other options isn't such a good thing. Okay if everything else has failed on you, but healthy eating and exercise should be the first port of call.

I hope he choses a way that makes him truly happy, whether it's being overweight or slim.

[Starlight]

To be honest I think nothing will work until a person is in the right mental place and has 'the click' My mum sat down with me on so many occasions I couldnt count and begged me to do something and everytime, full of good intentions I said I would, and never did.

It wasnt until I 'got the click' that it all fell into place. I think most of us know when we have a weight problem, and having someone reinforce that isnt probably what we need. Maybe as you continue to lose weight, you can enthuse about the diet and without telling him to try it, subtly try to point out the advantages not necessarily of CD, but of losing weight. CD may not be for him but if he sees how happy you are as the weight comes off it may encourage him to try something for himself. And then you can maybe mention Minimins, the support and the huge range of diets covered here Id definitely be cautious about bringing the subject up with him, its such a touchy subject, as we probably all know.

[DQ]

Nothing would make me dive into the biscuit tin quicker than when someone suggested I went on a diet.

Abso-ruddy-lutely!!!!! Many a biscuit barrel has bitten the dust because someone wanted to share their success on their latest diet, or someone suggested it was time to lose some weight.

However well meant it is, unless someone is ready to hear it OR brings it up themselves you have no idea how badly you might accidentally make them feel.

[Porgeous]

My view would be absolutely not, no amount of well intended advice when I was bigger could have made me want to lose weight. I think it is a journey you have to decide to take for yourself. He will see you losing weight and if he is genuinely interested he will begin to ask questions. As others have said, nothing would drive me to the biscuit tin quicker than someone mentioning my weight to me.

xxxx

[blue eyes]

I agree porgeous. This is definatey a journey you've got to decide to do yourself but you could mention how you've lost weight and how you feel. Just be there when he needs you.XX

[izmirka]

i agree, no amount of talking from my family or friends would have made me want to lose weight. i just had to be ready for it myself. but to be honest, i started the diet because my flatmate started lighter life, and it was actually me that started asking the questions and wondering if it will work for me as well. that is when i started CD.
so i would suggest setting an example to your brother by losing weight, and he might come to you and ask for some advice himself

[misscheeky]

i agree, no amount of talking from my family or friends would have made me want to lose weight. i just had to be ready for it myself. but to be honest, i started the diet because my flatmate started lighter life, and it was actually me that started asking the questions and wondering if it will work for me as well. that is when i started CD.
so i would suggest setting an example to your brother by losing weight, and he might come to you and ask for some advice himself

luv your pic hun xx

[izmirka]

thank you