Just having a little vent.
I lost two and a half stone on CD two years ago and felt ecstatic. I pretty much maintained, at ten pounds or so above my lowerst weight (with two eleven day stints of SS) until this Easter. I then put on a further stone (from hovering around eleven and a half, to twelve and a half to thirteen)
Since then I've done a month of SW in July, and put the stone I lost promptly back on.
To get rid of persistent sugar and carb cravings and try get back down to eleven and a half or even eleven once and for all, I'm doing SS+ now (it's Day 5) and am feeling hungry at the minute, but mostly alright, just about. I'm giving myself a strangely hard time about the results so far though. Clothes that were beginning to feel tight, now feel okay. But somehow, because I cut back for 5 days before, so have been dieting 10 days, I want my clothes to feel looser and I want to look different. Yet, I'm probably just back at a weight I've been quite alot in the last few months- around 12'4 or 5, so no one has commented yet and no big change feels like it's happened yet.
I re started at 12'9 on Tuesday, having originally started CD in 2006 at 13'5. (though had already lost about a stone then after dieting for a month).
I suppose I'm impatient for that feeling of ecstatic weight loss and rediscovering old clothes and a long lost figure to kick in. But that time I'd been quite overweight for three or four years, and so it was a new journey. This time I've only been about a stone overweight before pulling it back, so it's not like I'm rediscovering relative slimness in the same way.
I feel impatient to get down to eleven and a half stone and be aware of that more radical change. People I've seen in the last few days who were complimenting me madly when I got down to this weight last time, haven't said I've lost weight or look good. However, from their point of view, it's a) not a novelty that I now weigh less than I used to and b) I still weigh over a stone more than the least I was, so in fact if anything would look like I've put on weight.
Hmm. Writing that down has helped. It's not that the results aren't as good this time (I presume not anyway, WI on Wednesday), but just that the journey is completely different. Once I had the feeling though of being really different and significantly able to wear different things, I was just flying along last time. I suppose I might expect that to kick in more in around three more weeks once I (hopefully) get to the mid 11s. Or even in two weeks once I'm nicely under 12 stone.
My fiance is worried about me doing the diet and thinks it's very unhealthy. He doesn't sabotage, but I don't like there being this source of tension between us, and would like to stop as soon as I can. At the moment I've been trying to balance how ecstatic I know I'll feel when I'm back near goal against this (my increased confidence will have a positive effect on our relationship I think, and more quickly than if I did SW again), but because it's not hit me yet, I haven't got the full feeling of the positive. Just the feeling of being hungry!
I need to focus on where I'm heading not where I am. Hmm. Sorry for ramble, I think it makes a bit more sense to me now though. Onwards to more water and a tuna steak for tea!