Thread: Lost & Found... Map Gone AWOL!

Aw, KD... thank you... you always seem to have exactly the right words for the right person, I KNOW what you're saying is right but it helps more than you'd know to have it set out so clearly.

You get to practice doing the right thing and that is really empowering. Every time you do it right, you'll put that self esteem up a notch and you'll also get better at doing it 'right'.

Yessss.... this is what I want, and I know I don't seem to learn the lessons too easily, I do have a stubborn streak and a little voice that often says 'yes, but surely...' But I know this is a TRUTH because I have evidence of that already over the last five months. Thank you!!!

The ketosis thing is very odd, as I know I WASN'T in ketosis for some of my time on 810, and not just the 'cheat-ish' times. It is strange, I wonder if your body can change as metabolism adjusts, or as your 'normal' carb intake adjusts? I was reading your comment on Serena's diary about craving lots of carbs after CD, and wanted to comment but didn't want to hijack her thread.

I feel like I have 'broken' the back of a very strong carb habit. As veggie, I ate a LOT of carbs. Pasta. Bread. White rice. Spuds. I haven't missed those things... apart from bread, a little, and definitey NOT the processed sliced sort. And I have loved eating in a high-protein way, with quorn and tofu, it seems to suit me and I would love to go on that way. I have a (half-baked) theory that sometimes veggies are almost 'driven' to overeat as their bodies are in search of enough protein, yet all they are eating is carbs that fill yet never satisfy. I would love to keep the protein high in future, and keep an eye on GI, and never go back to being in the seesaw 'grip' of those processed carbs.

By the way, not saying this is why I was obese, it wasn't... my own messed-up binge eating was to blame.

Hmmm.... bit too early in the morning to be philosophizing, but that's ketosis for you! (And KD, she has that effect on me!!!)

xxx

Thanks for fab message Lynette!!! Feels like I will need all the luck I can get, but it is FAB to have made it this far. Big hugs.

KD, back to the polenta cake... (sigh!!!)

Oh and BTW, hate to break it to you, but almonds don't have carb cancelling properties, but I do envy your ability to have wonderful dreams

I know!!! Another downfall of mine, but dreaming is one addiction I never want to lose. But that IS good news about the almonds, protein & satiety, and stuff. And now I want to know the big secret about almonds!!! You cannot dangle that in front of me and then run away!!! Noooooo!!! When will I be wise enough to learn the Final Secret of The Mysterious Almond, oh Great Master?

xxx

Originally Posted by Katycakes

I was reading your comment on Serena's diary about craving lots of carbs after CD, and wanted to comment but didn't want to hijack her thread.

Hiya Katy

Gosh that has been some interesting reading from you and KD (as ever!).

Regarding my carb cravings I was telling Lostris yesterday that I was like many others in that whilst on SS I craved "proper" food e.g. chicken/veggies etc rather than choccy/takeways or whatever. Then as soon as I got to have the chicken/veg it got me craving the next "notch" up e.g. fruit, granary bread etc, which then triggered the next level e.g. white bread/pasta etc etc...

I can totally see why it comes as a total shock to people when think they can dive straight from CD into "healthy eating" or WW and it all goes horribly wrong!

Not saying this will happen to you but I think for me, the more I introduced the more I wanted to test the water. KD's comment on my diary was spot on: "It probably feels like a bit of a treat? Something to prove to yourself that you can have it now...you're 'free'? Even if only subconsciously"

Luckily my saving grace is that doing the steps gradually has taught me that although I may give in to the odd craving I still have the power to control it.

You'll do fab I'm sure xx

Hi Serena... I know I am at a very early stage and had a feeling it wouldn't stay this easy! (Easy? Who am I kidding?) I suppose I have just enjoyed 810 over last few months and also 1000 seems do-able (now I am DOING it and not using it as an excuse to eat all I can see!). I never used to touch quorn before, and now I love it, so I suppose I just mean I want to keep it as a big part of my meals, and pulses because I love them. Over last few years our meals have slid towards 'fast' veggie food which can be even higher in fat than meaty stuff, and I want that to change. I was definitely in a high-carb vicious circle before, eat pasta & cheese sauce, crave more, eat white bread, crave more, on and on. The whole huge carb kingdom was being added on to the sugar kingdom as food for me to binge on.

So... I know that will rear its ugly head again at some point. But I want to be aware of it and guard against it taking over again if I can. I know that the desire to eat those things will return, and I want to be able to eat those things, but keep them in balance if that makes sense. I know it is easy to think about & much harder to put into practice, though... I will just have to take those baby steps everyone keeps telling me about!

Thanks Serena... forewarned is forearmed!

xxx

Whats the almond secret!!!!!

KD will not tell us the almond secret. We are not wise enough yet. Is it to do with marzipan? Amaretto? I wish!!!!

Friday May 1st

OK... just when you think it is not so hard, it gets harder. I know what I did wrong... just not WHY I did it! Sigh.

Brekky: porridge, berries, spoonful 0% greek yog
lunch: soft boiled egg on wholemeal toast. FAAAAAB.
I was sort of full after this, but decided I would have a CD bar for my 2nd CD thing. Why???!!!
So: toffee malt bar & coffee
And then... just felt really, really hungry. Why? How? Because before the bar I wasn't hungry at all, I just 'fancied' something sweet.
After lunch cheat: four oatcakes with almond butter (sorry KD! letting down the almond side again)

I have discovered it is very hard to eat just one oatcake. Felt bad, as I didn't even need the bar, let alone the oatcakes. I felt stupid, and started chain drinking herb tea, and decided again not to have carbs with my tea, as I had already had my carb allowance... so...

tea: mashed cauliflower with cottage cheese.

Think I may be over 1000 today. Pretty sure I am. Grrr.

Tomorrow I will be better, and one day I will be worthy of the Great Almond Secret.

xxx

I have discovered it is very hard to eat just one oatcake.

Actually, it occurs to me that I have discovered this many, many times. There has to be a message there!!!

xxx

Katy, Katy, Katy all this time you have been a strong support to me so here I am now for you. You have been doing brillinatly and life goes on, stop beating yourself up, to be honest what you are eating sounds horrible so it is hardly surprising you are getting a bit excited by the prospect of some normal tasty food, that has been my downfall, but you know from the last few months what the pitfalls are and you have learnt so much about yourself that you will be able to deal with these demons, much better than I am currently.

I wish you all the best in the world you deserve it just for being a really really good and honest person. so there xx

Jos, thank you. I am deeply weird because I do like the food I have been eating, but I know what you mean!!! CD is restrictive and any food seems great after months of shakes. I guess a part of me is fed up and wanting to move on. But I am not gonna mess up now, want to work up the steps properly, so I will hang on. And I am hanging on, just!

Hope you are hanging on too... it's a tough time for you right now, I know. Big hugs, & thanks for the kind words.

xxx

Thanks, I am a bit better today, even when I heard the message on the phone from the vets about her ashes. hurt but didnt cry.

Walked over 10 miles today, uphill and down dale, was godd but ache like billyo now. 6 months ago I would have fainted at the first hill. So I proud of myself, and when I weighed this morning things were looking better so fingers crossed.

I am just looking at Cal Mac crossing from skye to tarbet, thinking of going to lewis in Aug so thats getting me excited.

Cant wait to hear what you have for food tomorrow LOL. xx

Sorry for the delay...been very busy

Originally Posted by sleepybird

Whats the almond secret!!!!!

Originally Posted by Katycakes

KD will not tell us the almond secret. We are not wise enough yet. Is it to do with marzipan? Amaretto? I wish!!!!

It is nothing to do with marzipan (I luuuurrrve marzipan!). And sorry, the secret is with me until you can walk the rice paper without tearing it, and your steps will not be heard. (Great quote...nothing to do with almonds, or marzipan though )

And when you can walk the rice paper, I will tell you the secret of the almonds. Be patient grasshopper

Originally Posted by Katycakes

I have discovered it is very hard to eat just one oatcake.

Actually, it occurs to me that I have discovered this many, many times. There has to be a message there!!!

xxx

Good one! Something to work on Put a 'pause' between oatcakes.

Thank you Master. Think I am a bit of a way from walking the rice paper. I'd fall right through it at the moment... or eat it, possibly, with almond butter spread on top. But it is good to have something to aim for!

And a pause between oatcakes... yup. Rations. I can do it!

xxx

Originally Posted by Katycakes

And a pause between oatcakes... yup. Rations. I can do it!

xxx

You can! Yep. Pausing can be uncomfortable, but it's not too hard to do, because any length of pause is a success if you've done it consciously.

Not only that, but you can't fail.
I remember telling someone about the 'pause' and the following day they came back and said that they tried it but it didn't work for them. How many times did they try? No idea, but since I had only told them about it the day before, I guess it was just once or twice

Thing is, it's something you can do each time. There is no fail. If you haven't paused...you haven't paused...that's all. You've slightly reinforced the 'not pause' pattern in your brain, but there's always a next time. Just try to do it as much as you can.

Get good at the pausing because pausing leads to stopping