Thread: Some tips from me for life after Cambridge....Long

Thanks for this KD. I'll look for this again when I reach my target weight having failed to maintain last time I got there. Some very useful information.

Don't know why I haven't seen this before! Thanks KD - brilliant post as usual.
I've been 'maintaining' since last June - 42 weeks and counting. I say 'maintaining' because it doesn't feel like maintaining. It feels like eating/drinking too much and then cutting back for a while. I'm STILL working on the head stuff. I definitely don't think or behave like a thin person yet and sometimes wonder if I ever will.
Reaching goal weight is most definitely only the beginning of the journey! However I'd far rather have these issues than the ones I had before. This is where I wanted and want to be and I WILL stay here! xx

You've been doing brilliantly Jan Though I'm trying to avoid replying on daries for various reasons, I often pop into yours to see how you're doing and admire your tenacity for not jumping on that LT wagon for minor gains.

I definitely don't think or behave like a thin person yet and sometimes wonder if I ever will.

I would love to say "you will!...you will!", but I can't, because I just don't know

Mine can still be a conscious effort at times. I behave like one. I'm not always one. An actor on the stage. And sometimes hoping that if I act well enough for long enough, I will metamorphosise into the person I'm pretending to be.

But most of the time now I am that person, and all is well. No conscious effort. I just am.

Post Christmas to spring is my sticky point...full of doubts that are hard to shift. But I know that when spring comes, out will pop that side of me that 'just is'. The one that makes this all seem so easy that I still surprise myself at times. The one that can do it without much thought ..(now anyway).

And though I do doubt myself at times, I absolutely know that if I ever put on a load of weight again, it will be because of something totally out of my reach. I know I've cracked this, and I can do it forever, because bumpy though the ride is, going back to how I was is just not an option. I couldn't bear it.

I couldn't bear it either KD which is why I sooo frustrate myself when my behaviour belies that resolve.

Reading your reply makes me wonder whether I too may have the Christmas to spring thing (or maybe that's just a hope! ) because I am struggling a little at the moment. I don't have long enough experience to see a yearly pattern but I DO think (or is it again just a hope) this 'bingey' phase is quickly (or at least eventually) followed by a more 'resolved to sort it out' phase. Again I don't have enough experience yet to rely on that and so still feel extremely vulnerable when I don't appear to be able to control what's going on - like now
Although a return to TFR would be (and has been) tempting because it's so simple, it wouldn't actually solve the overriding issues so I will resist that temptation as long as I can, although never say never. I would take that option rather than gain soooo much I couldn't see a way back.

In some ways it's frustrating to know that after nearly 5 years you still aren't able to just relax and let it all happen but no more so than realising that getting to goal is only the beginning. Both realisations are fundimental to a permanent solution and perhaps that is that there is NO permanent solution - just better management.

I continue to thank you and be in awe of your knowledgeable and wonderfully helpful posts. I'm happy to know you are keeping your eye on me - I'm sure you would post if you saw something you thought was REALLY wrong or could REALLY help so that's great.

Take care xx

Originally Posted by JanD

In some ways it's frustrating to know that after nearly 5 years you still aren't able to just relax and let it all happen but no more so than realising that getting to goal is only the beginning. Both realisations are fundimental to a permanent solution and perhaps that is that there is NO permanent solution - just better management.

Yes, better management...and making new pathways in the brain stronger and stronger so we use those techniques automatically.

In some ways it's frustrating to know that after nearly 5 years you still aren't able to just relax and let it all happen

It's not quite like that. I do relax, but stay aware if you know what I mean. It's a niggle more than anything. But it's normal. Just like a ex smoker may get the urge to have a cigarette after many years of not wanting one. Trying to be the person who never has that desire, who believes that after x amount of years they wont ever have that thought in their mind is unrealistic.

The best I can do is know how to manage the desire, rather than assume it wont come ever again. It's just at this time of year, there are more periods of desire because being slim during this season doesn't bring the same rewards (in my head). My winter clothes aren't so close fitting as a reminder of what I've done. My chest is bad, so I don't want to rush around enjoying life. I want to sit and self comfort. My rewards are easier to spot in the summer when I can see my body in summer clothes, and I'm out and about enjoying life.

We have to see the rewards of NOT following our past habits quickly. It needs to be immediate...not 'but I want to be slim for summer'. That can work, but it's harder as we will always go for the immediate reward over the future reward.

I'll tell you about Fred in a mo.

Changing habits using Fred

Just responded on the wrong bit, I meant I read this section all the time...thankyou so much.