Thread: Alexmummy's learning journey...

Originally Posted by alexmummy07

Hey Laura

How are you doing now hun?
I can see your goal is lower than mine - I originally set with my CDC for 10 stone 7, just because I had got to 10 stone 6-7 as my lightest before, so thought I'd aim for that again, and then aim for BMI goal afterwards. In my head I'm probably aiming for about 9 stone 10 ish, depending how my body decides to react - I've never been less than 10 stone 6 in my adult life, or even as a teenager, so I just don't know how it will go - and having always been really top heavy etc I just wonder what will happen.

Anyway as usual, I'm rambling! Keep plodding on hun x

Last time I did CD I got down to 9 stone 8 and felt really good. My real target is 9. stone 7 but decided to push it a bit further to see what happens.

That said, I'm a pretty curvy shape though so I don't know how that'll suit me. We'll see.

I agree our bodies will let us know We just need to do the footwork.

Hey AM
Sounds like your doing great and had a fab week..
Enjoy going out and buying new clothes its such a great feeling......
Hope you have a good day x

Hope everything is going well for you AM.... how is work?? Did you have your WI today?

Hiya, thanks for your post while I was away. How are you getting on now? Look forward to hearing from you xxx

17th August 2009

Well my post today isn't going to be so positive I'm afraid

If I just type - it may all piece itself together...
I've lost my way again and feeling rather disheartened at the moment.
I really need to start losing again, and find my mojo again. It's like I've got into the 11 stone mark and relaxed too much. I know I need to follow the plans, but life keeps getting in the way. I'm getting home later and not being able to prepare meals so eating soups (proper ones like cream of tomato etc not CD ones) which OK isn't too awful, but then it spirals into something so much bigger.
I feel a little like I've deprived myself of proper food for so long - almost 8 months, and now have had a week where I have allowed myself 'things' soup, bread, a roll, and the worst thing for me - 2 take aways! Admittedly they were much much smaller portions than I would have ever had before, but none the less this isn't me!

I know how much I really really do want to get to goal, yet I seem to have found this self destruct button and pressed it good and proper.
I thought I had recovered from my blip the other week, but clearly not.
I know I need to stay on here, but when I fail, I feel like I'm a failure to everyone else too, so I don't deserve to then be on here.

I sooo wanted to be in the 10's for my birthday, but I'm slowly but surely running out of time, and just can't get my head back into it.

I know I need to work on one day at a time, and start today, but I just feel like I've failed so badly this time, am I ever going to be able to do this and finish it?! Do the job properly? I can see my figure has changed hugely from what it was, and I'm of course pleased with that, but I can also see I'm no way near finished yet, and still have a lot to lose, but where has my willpower gone? 5 and a bit stone gone, and terrified of it creeping back on, but need my willpower back to start again.
It's my W.I. tonight, and it's not going to be good

Claire x

Hey Claire..
Just wanted to send you big hugs..
Firstly you have not failed....... You have done fantastically well being on cd for 8 months is a long time..... and you have lost an amazing 78 lbs which is WOW!!!! So be proud of yourself hon...
If you are happy the way you are then I guess if you maintain its ok but if you still want to lose more hon try and jump back on its so worth it...I know it must be hard.
Try and prepare your food earlier so you have it all at home so you dont reach for the wrong things because its late.
I dont want to preech to you as Im only on 1000 at the moment..
But You can do it hon if you really really want it.. Picture yourself in that dress you want to be in for your birthday in the 10s looking stunning!
Keep smiling and chin up your doing fab xxxxx

Sorry to hear you have struggled hon but most of us have at times... you are NOT a failure unless you give up, and you are not a quitter. Big hugs and keep posting, we can all do this together.

xxx

Originally Posted by curlywurly1234

Hey Claire..
Just wanted to send you big hugs..
Firstly you have not failed....... You have done fantastically well being on cd for 8 months is a long time..... and you have lost an amazing 78 lbs which is WOW!!!! So be proud of yourself hon...
If you are happy the way you are then I guess if you maintain its ok but if you still want to lose more hon try and jump back on its so worth it...I know it must be hard.
Try and prepare your food earlier so you have it all at home so you dont reach for the wrong things because its late.
I dont want to preech to you as Im only on 1000 at the moment..
But You can do it hon if you really really want it.. Picture yourself in that dress you want to be in for your birthday in the 10s looking stunning!
Keep smiling and chin up your doing fab xxxxx

Hi Hun

Thanks for your message - definitely not happy where I am, so yes I do definitely need to get back on and quickly.
I'm going to try and take it one day at a time, and get on here too, I've got to admit when I'm having a bad day as well as a good one.

There is a part of me that 'feels' like going right back to the drawing board and going to SS for a while. I know I stopped losing weight on it in the end, but have been wondering if since I've eaten so much more whether it would work again, to help get me to goal quicker, and then maintain better. I know maintenance is a lot of work, and I'm finding all this out, but part of me just really wants to get to the end now (of losing weight) and then just concentrate whole heartedly on maintenance, as I feel a bit like while I'm trying to lose more, my focus is all out.

This is probably the total wrong thing to think/feel, but I just wanted to get out how I'm feeling.

I probably have about 21lbs to lose still at the moment, (depending on tonight) and I just can't see the end at the moment. x

Originally Posted by Katycakes

Sorry to hear you have struggled hon but most of us have at times... you are NOT a failure unless you give up, and you are not a quitter. Big hugs and keep posting, we can all do this together.

xxx

Thank you, I'm not quitting nope, just finding it hard, and people who haven't done this diet, or haven't had as much to lose - friends/family etc, don't seem to realise it's not as easy as ABC sometimes, and my struggling to them seems to be that I've given up, when that's not what I want by any means. I just feel like I've 'needed' (in a way) to eat properly, and not be so starved of nice food, but that's got to go away again, and for me to get myself back on track. I see so many of you all get to goal, and I just want to be there too.

x

Hon, you have done so well... and in trying circumstances too. Your determination has been an inspiration for lots of us. I know that 'want to eat' feeling from quite early on, and in a way that was why 810 worked well for me, as I could work with this. And practice the control thing with food IN the picture. But you do get to a point when you want everything to be normal, and that is part of getting towards the end of the journey. It can be so hard to stay focused.

You can do this. A little bit further! You are close to your birthday goal, so focus on that first, then reset goal and decide whether to stay on 810 or move up to 1000. But plan, focus, keep the big picture in mind. You have come this far... you can get all the way.

Go Claire!!!!

xxx

I so relate to what you are saying Claire. 810 is working for me for all the reasons Katy mentioned.

I hope you find a plan that works for you. I won't be at my target goal when I move from 810 to 1000 in three weeks time but it's about priorities and finding a plan that works for me. Otherwise I know I'll just resent being on the plan, and that's not going to do any good at all! Then I'll have hopefully not much more than 11 pounds to go, and will get that off on 1200.

Claire, I understand what you mean about losing motivation, I definately felt that towards the end. But..... if you go off plan please come on here for help and support. To me that is what this thread is all about, that someone is there when we are struggling. We dont need support when everything is going well and we are following plan and the weight is coming off, but it is good to post this to encourage other people. If we are failing it is also good to post so that you can get the support you need from other people.... please dont think you can only post when you are doing well, I think it is more important to post when you feel you are doing badly...

Maybe going back on SS would be the way forward, take a step backwards and hopefully you could lose a stone in a month, and then start moving up the plans again to lose the other 7lb...

Thanks for all of your replies. When I go to weigh in tonight, I will ask CDC what she thinks would be best.

I do feel a bit re-motivated after reading your diaries, but still feel like I need the end to be closer, perhaps SS or 810 for 4 weeks would be a good idea.
I know how hard SS can be, in terms of going back to it, but I also know how much I want/need this and settling where I am is not an option. If I don't get to goal this time, I feel like I never will, so it's about time that I get to finishing the game, so to speak.

I wouldn't want it to seem like running back to SS, because that's not how I feel, I just feel like I need to be closer to the end - and originally I had planned to SS all the way before all the money problems.
Am I strong enough to go back to SS for 4 weeks? Would it make that huge difference? I would really really hope so - to both questions.

The other thing, that I'm slightly concerned about, maybe daft, is that I've moved here, and if I was to go back to SS, I'd have to 'leave' for the 4 weeks before coming back and working up again, when you have all been my inspiration! x

Claire of course you wouldn't have to move, Laura went down the plans and she stayed here.... this is your home now and where you belong.... lol

As someone who panicked a bit over whether i was OK to stay here, and was reassured, I think surely it would be fine for you to stay and keep your thread going, and you could also post on the SS threads for extra support. But we all know what SS is like and can try our best to be there for you... as long as our diary food mentions didn't upset you or anything!

xxx