Thread: Just a bit of advise really...

Hi all,

Firstly, pleeeaaase! dont take pity/feel sorry for me on what ive decided to talk about on here, i just want some advise really... I have never mentioned it on here before and only really chat to my goof friends about the situation but im struggling, my mum has terminal cancer, its nothing new we have been going through this as a family for the last 3 years, but the last 4 months have been very full on, i went p/t for a month in sept/oct to help look after her and my very little bro and sis (massive age gap !), she had new op and then managed to fit in taking her to radio therapy most days in dec, all the time i have been headstrong and just got on with it as you do, but on monday i had this dream about her where she died and then came back to life and then died again and since that i cant pull myself togeather, ive felt a bit tearful all week since, it seemed so real. I cant shake this away...to the point where i dont want to talk to her! which is horrible of me i know how can i get rid of the dream as i keep thinking about it!! and i hate being a misery! plus i get worried that being miserable might encourage me to over eat again... x

Not pity, but I would like to say I'm sorry to hear what you're all going through.

The problem is, dreams play on our subconscious. Our worst fears or something we really want. My mum was extremely ill when I was younger and I also had dreams of her dying, sometimes every night. Because I was 8, I spoke to my mum about these dreams and she explained that it's just our bodies playing with us.

Dreams aren't a porthole to the future.. If they were I'd me a millionaire the times I've won that in my dreams

Please don't worry hun, your mum sounds like a fighter. Last thing she needs is you falling apart on her.

thanks hun, thats so true i need to be strong for them! I think it because this is the first time i have been like this in all that time, and i and my friends have said before that i did need to prepare that when it happens it might be a bit of a slap in the face if you get me, in compariosn to how i usually cope with it, i think my dream felt so real and vivid this is a little bit of what i got! but i need to get real... it was a dream and i need to carry on! xx

(((Lottie))) What a tough time you are going through and don't discount your feelings just because it's not new news so to speak.

Our minds are very clever things. Do you think there's any chance it's just a part of you going through the grieving process or helping you to see how you may feel when the time comes?

Thoughts and prayers to you and your family. xx

yeah i do think it was a taster as i spend so much time worring that i have coped so well now that when we get to that point the complete opposite will happen! and i will just break down... its the first time i have ever dreamt about it, i thought it may have something to do with me not wanting it to happen or sub consiously not accepting it.. what i didnt get was her coming back to life (for 2 days!) and then going again!! xx

Lottie, My mum had breast cancer and I thought we were going to lose her and everyone said 'you have to stay strong' but why do you? it is upsetting and hard and putting a brave face on all the time will not make you feel better. don't be embarrassed to feel down and upset. Dreams are just that, dreams! talk to your mum about it she will probably laugh If you want to talk to someone you can email me...

Hello Lottie

So sorry that you and your family are going through such a tough time now. Having worked in hospital settings as a nurse and then later as a social worker, I really do think that you are a remarkable young lady with the way that you are coping.

Please disregard this dream, NumNums provided a good explanation of what a dream really is. I had a very odd dream a couple of nights ago about arranging to meet a former friend that I have nothing to do with anymore due to some very unacceptable views that she holds.

I thought about the dream when I woke up and actually felt so pleased that I have moved on in life and made new lovely friends. Not sure if that makes any sense, but really please don't let a dream upset you.

Wishing you well xx