Thread: My Diary...

my diary
hi all. I did cd back in nov 2008 for about 8 weeks and then i fell pregnant. it wasn't really planned but needless to say i came off plan and had my baby in aug and am now reasy to go back to cd. i need to lose about 3 stone (2 stone would also be v nice) so I started on sunday. this is day 6 for me.

Day 1 - horrible, cold, hungry but feeling positive at the change from eating loads to being in control.

Day 2 - feeling awful, in bed from 6pm onwards as was so headachey and shivery and feeling sick.

Day 3 - expecting the worst day but it was not as bad as day 2. still bad though and headachey and another day in bed.

Day 4 - better day today, but i have to say that feeling a bit down today. last time too for the first 3 weeks i felt a bit emotional and depressed. i think its cos this diet makes you think about why you eat so much and its sad not eating with the family. however, no headaches today and energy levels up again.

Day 5 - feeling good today, positive and not hungry. am feeling energetic enough to do some exercise but will wait until next week to start. Depressed again in the evening and missing eating (but not hungry).

Both day 4 and 5 i have struggled to sleep at night. this is horrid cos i keep thinking about food! pls let this end and for me to be able to sleep again!

Day 6 - today. feeling good. had some water, and a choc shake (the only ones I have). gonna weigh in tomorrow and looks like i have lost 6lbs this week but hoping for some more loss by tomorrow. last time i lost 10lbs in the first week.

anyway, just glad i have got over the hard first week and am looking forward to posting in week 3 and being on top of the world. wish me luck. i am almost glad that i am not a typical returner (ie, lost the weight, gained some back and then back here) and had to break cos of pregnancy. but i love reading all the stories even though i hope i never 'return' here again - no offence, you know what i mean don't you.

This is just a rambling start to my diary, wish me luck, i need it as i miss eating. its no fun doing anything without food in your belly but i hope that once the losses mount up that feeling will help me buzz and keep going. have been lurking since sunday and didn't want to post until i felt better physically and emotionally. for me, half the journey on cd is getting past the first week.

oh, and for the record, i had treat days last time and will probably do so this time. this is the scenic route i know but i have birthdays and nights out in the next coming months which i do not want to miss and so allow myself a break. last time i did cd i had no probs at all in going back on the diet so will see what happens this time round. I have no planned days off until the end of jan. last time i found that certainly after the first 3 weeks or so a planned break re-started everything and was also something for to look forward to. there didn't seem to be much dammage on the scales either, but will see how i feel this time around. bring on day 7... and 8..9...10. XX

day 7 today - weighed in with a loss of 7lbs which i am pleased with. also, had my chicken and veg meal tonight, have every sat off really as need to have at least one meal a week with the family. last time i did cd i found that this one meal had no massive effect on weight loss. so have chicken and veg/salad (unlimited, as in i don't weigh anything) and a nice cuppa tea. so, although am technically off plan, there are no carbs and no really bad food.

back to cd tomorrow so lots of water and my choc shakes. thank god i am one the people who can get back on straight away. I hope i lose at least 3-4 lbs this week. was not in a good head space last night, did a lot of introspective thinking and was feeling really low and v hungry. however, did not give in and went to bed feeling ok, but hungry. last time i did cd i had no hunger pangs from day 4 but this time everything seems to be taking longer.

day 8 tomorrow and will try and post again.



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day 8. started with a shake and loads of water, and then another shake and more water. doing well with the water today. am having a ss+ day today with some veg tonight. don't want a big meal but just some cucumber sticks to nibble on. weekends are so hard for me, weekdays are ok. don't know whether to have my third shake and cucumber sticks or to just have the veg....mmmmm.... will see how i feel. its only 4.30 and although i am not hungry i think its the mindset more than anuthing. my brain keeps telling me its time to eat but i am not hungry.

emotionally today has not been too bad. no feeling down or depressed. feeling ok, and just hope i lose again this weekend coming up. am hoping the snow clears too so i can go out with the buggy. weighed myself this morning after last nights meal and am a pound or 2 over what i was yesterday but thats fine. that should come off during the course of today.

if i can just keep myself occupied until next sat i'll be fine. its the sitting idle which brings on 'memories' of food and missing it. i hae to remind myself that i no longer have pangs and am not hungry, but its taking a while for things to register properly. gonna go and get the kids ready for school now (ie do uniforms and get them bathed). then might sit down with a shake. evenings are hard, but have started doing my fitness dvd's now (not much just about 10-20 mins) to pass the time and bring on the endorphins so might do that tonight.

bring on day 9.....

realised today that i was wrongly posting in the 100% forum. as i have odd days off i really should not be posting on there. so i am now here!

day 9 - feeling really good today, absolutely no hunger pangs at all today, but i have nibbled on a few spoons of soup! bad, bad, bad when i am not even hungry. disappoinnted with myself, but determined to carry on. did not think i would say ths but am not gagging at the shakes any more. and with no hunger pangs i hope i have turned a corner. i know i have nibbled, but surely a few spoons of something can't make me gain can it? anyway, i won't let it stop me carrying on and will have a hot choc shake later tonight. glugging water although am struggling with this as its so cold and am not really a water drinker. i drink bout 2lt a day and am hoping i can start upping this as i get more comfortable with the diet.

again, feeling bummed for having nibbled, and am sure that a lot of people here do nibble?????

need to have a good loss this week (4lbs would take me into the lower bracket) as it really helps me with the mindset of keeping on top of it. so far haven't lost anything but maybe tomrrow i will drop a pound..... speak to you tomorrow.

Well done on your first WI loss!!! Fab!! Lots of people find that tweaking CD a wee bit works for them. It obviously hasn't done you any harm.

Keep up the good work!

thnks for the reply jaxied. hope today is going ok for you.

i have to make this work for me cos it is so extreme, so there have to be tweaks otherwise i wouldn't last more than a few days.

day 10 today. no hunger but went to bed with a headache and woke up with one and have furry tongue again so not happy with week 1 symptoms. otherwise feeling good. have upped the water intake and the hot shakes do not make me gag and i can't really taste the aftertaste anymore so thats good. i actully quite enjoy them now and that really helps me. its funny cos they do say don't they that it takes 10 times of tasting something before you like it and this seems to be true. so now i have conquered the shakes i can hopefully stay on cd for at least 8 weeks.

i also went to the loo today, tmi i know, but last time i found that the i didn't go very well at all, and am sure this was because i was having bars last time. am startig bars next week cos need a change but i do think they bung you up more.

last night i watched gen xxl on channel 4 about overweight kids and it made me really sad. i have only been fat as an adult so i can't empathise with those kids but felt so sad for them. at the same time when they were showing what the kids ate it was making me really hungry! also, one of the kids mums was doing cd and it made me a bit sad cos she looked so sad and despondent and when they showed her a few months later she was eating a donner kebab and had regained all th weight. it just made me sad cos i know so many people fail on cd, but then i need to remind myself that many people fail on ww/sw too don't blame the diet, blame the person.

i have been thinking of going up to ss+ next week cos this is hard and if i hve a planned meal of a chicken wing and nice salad (albeit small) it may help but am not sure if i want to yet. will see what i lose this week. also its tom next week so know i will need to eat something to get me through. feel a bt peeved as scaled haven't moved this week, but am hanging in there and am prayig fr a loss, and even if its not a good loss i need to give it at least a month before i can make a decision. i found last time that its best to look at your losses over a month rather than day to day. anyway, will post more tonight as that is my hardest part of the day!!!

day 11 - yes really. well last night was hard. this weather is not helping. it cant be healthy not to have any sun at all?? and its cold and i want a nice big hot meal!!!

anyway, survived last night and doing ok today. its cold though but not hungry, although am a bit headachey again - boo. lost 1-2lbs when i weighed this morning. couldn't say for sure as my scale in a right mood and refuses to provide any clarity! anyway, it should be another few pouds before i weigh in on sat . its funny, i usually sts until about wed/thus and then start losing some. dont think i will lose ext week as its tom and i may be eating ss+ meals, but i don't want to think of then i am focussing on now. may have to eat a few boiled eggs today as am so cold and need something solidd but will try and hold off now the weight loss has started. been reading posts on here and that helps but then i get worried. this is the only diet which makes me sit on forums (this one mostly) reading posts all day and its not really a good habit.

anyway, going for now and am going to watch some tv. wish me luck until sat and if i can lose 4lbs i will be in the lower stone bracket and needless to say i will be MOST delighted. i read about such huge losses on here and i seem so far behind!

day 12 and WOOOOHOOOOO. i am buzzing! never felt so good, really!.

yesterday after i posted in the morning i had a miserable day. full of self doubt and self destruction. by 5pm i was in tears and convinced i was doing a stupid diet and would regain everything. then looked on the SW forum here and saw a post about someone who did CD then regained everything and SW people were saying how terrible this diet is. i am planning on doing SW when i have worked up the plans but i became terrified that i would regain everything.

ended up reading an interview by coleen nolan which she said that doing LL was a horrible mistake and when she stopped she piled all her weight on again! I made myself feel so crap. i didn't cheat at all though and have woken up today feeling really good.

why do we self-destruct like that? I know that weight regain is common to every single diet unless care is taken, so why does CD get such bad press. yes it is hard, but all of us on here need a massive round of applause for doing it. its hard, emotionally and physically.

today i feel brilliant, had water and shakes and have lost 3lbs so far this week and weigh in is not until sat so hoping for another pound off! no hunger and most importantly no bad feelings or voices in my head telling me i am so silly. also spent time on doing a fitness dvd which really helped with my mindset and gave me some much needed endorphins. I have had some really down days these last 12 days and hope i have now turned a corner and can deal with any bad thoughts i have. on CD i find that its the bad thoughts and head hunger which is harder to deal with than the actual diet itself????

day 13 was fine except that i was out all day and drank hardly any water. also, i was so peckish at night that decided to have pizza at 10pm. however, within seconds of deciding i want one and hubby getting ready to order i completely changed my mind. a voice in my head just said to me 'so, you're gonna undo all the hard work from this week by eating crap huh? you already have a planned day off tomorrow so whats the point of today? youre not even hungry you idiot!!!!'. thank god i changed my mind, i had a small strip of cheese and went to bed feeling happy in control. thank god too as i lost another pound overnight taking my second week loss to 4lbs!!!! hurrah, i am in the lower stone bracket. YES YES YES. whooopppee.

day 14 - my planned day off, started the day with a cuppa tea (heaven) and some water. then was out all day and had a normal tea at night of pie and chips with small desert. must say that my portions were quite small as my stomache must have shrunk. had a great day and ready to attck CD tomorrow morning.

day 15 - start of a new week, i would like to say that i would LOVE to lose 3lbs this week but that is being too optimistic as its TOM and i have had a day off. however, weighed myself this morning and have only a 2lbs gain which i am really happy with. have been glugging the water - sticking to 2litres today. read on here about someone having 9 litres (FFS!) and a cd counsellor had advised that we really don't need more that 2ish litres. also, have had a shake this morning, still full from last night so hope this will be a good week for me. i have lost a total of 11lbs now and loads of my clothes fit better, i feel more attractive, like i am shedding a skin and emerging from within myself. god knows what highs and lows this week will bring and i hope i can keep it all together. hoping to ss today but may have to resort to ss+ if things get tough. last week i hoped for 4lbs loss but did not think i would get it and i did so am very very happy. pls let me lose something this week, as i am usually someone whose losses are very irregular! might post tonight if i get the chance. can you believe its day 15 already?????????????????????????

Hey there.......good to read about your progress, hope you have a good loss this week, it's so reassuring that other people have these high's and low's........feel like i lose the plot when doing this diet!!

claire - this diet is a real mindf*** isn't it? i love reading posts from people who have blips as i think most people do but don't want to admit it. I tailor cd to myself and what i know i can cope with, and there are some very low points let me tell you because all the time you used to spennd scoffing you now spend thinking about why you did that yourself...

day 16. hmm an odd day as didn't have my first shake and bit of water until about 2pm as was out all morning. ended up having a small handful of grapes in the morning but not going to mke myself feel bad about it at all. also, today was my ss+ day and although i wasn't hungry i sat down to the chicken and cucumber meal and ended up eating way more than 200g!!! ooopsss. hope i haven't done too much damage, at least it was chicken hey? i started period today so maybe that explains some things, weight has shot up today but am hoping that this is because of TOM and will come down by weigh in on sat. mentally am feeling good, no down moments today and no dreaming of food. the head hunger seems to be going away. however, even though am doing ss+ was scared to eat and be sitting down to a meal..... the planned meals are fine but the thought of eating every day is hard....

ps - i drank little today, need to do better on all counts tomorrow.

day 18. didnt post yesterday as was feeling very low again. its such a freaking rollercoaster. i dont know why i was down, i blame tom. however, i just had no motivation to do anything. funnily, i wasn't hungry at all - didn't even do my ss+ even though i had my meal ready. i stuck to 3 shakes and just felt so low all day. wanted to have a meal just to do something but as there was no hunger i didnt have anything.

why can i be up one minute and down the next. also, no losses showing this week at all and this really makes me tell myself that cd doesnt work, its bad for you, my time is up. however, last time i did cd i lost nothing in wk 3 and i have to remember its tom. also, i know that i usually feel the whoosh of pounds falling off around thursday in a typical week so why do i self sabotage and invade y mind with negative thoughts.......why?

i dont even think its cd. its me, my mindset and once tom is over will deffo be doing more PMA. hope i do lose something this week but if not then its ok and I WILL keep going.

had shake and water this morning so hoping to keep it up. feeling a bit low but hoping i will come out of it by tomorrow....proud to say i am on day 18!

day 19 - still no loss, done a dvd for half an hour to try and cheer myself up and get the benefit of some endorphins. i know i dont have to lose every week its just SO DISHEARTENING!!!!. still drinking water and having shakes although had a ss+ day yesterday and ended up having some chicken. how can i eat so little and lose nothing? is it TOM? is it me? is this diet working for me? am determined to keep at it though so wish me luck.

day 22 - i weighed in yesterday and have lost 2 lbs. really really pleased with that. had my planned meal in the evening too, and am back on the water and shakes today. funnily enough, didn't enjoy ANYTHING i ate yesterday at all. in the evening i didn't even finish my meal and as i wasn't enjoying it i decided to stop. have been working on my attitude to food when i am on shakes and i think it is working as i have not binged at all since i started.

really pleased with the loss too as i really thought i would sts this week. anyway, week 4 now so hoping i have a good loss this week and am gonna try for 3lbs this week. mood wise i am still feeling pretty low, hope this passes as cd is hard enough when you are in a positive frame of mind, its even harder when you feel down. no reason for feeling low, its not cd related slumping, its just a general feeling lowness....

woke up today feeling okayish and ready for week 4. thank god i can jump straight back into cd. weighed this morning and am 1lb up on yesterday so am chuffed the meal did not do too much damage. i really get amazed at people who ss all the way but i need some small and planned breaks otherwise i wouldnt be able to do it. i can do it in 6 day chunks and need a break, i know it prob slows my losses but at least it keeps on cd longer. wish me luck for this week people!