Becoming the Littlest Cupcake.

Hello All.

My name is Beth, many of you will know me already because I have been commenting on most of the Cambridge threads since January.

I thought it was about time that I actually started up my own thread.

I am currently in week 10 of Cambridge SS. (I know I am slow off the mark with the diary thing!)

But for me, the reason I am setting up a diary now, is because I am much more worried, and need much more support with the maintenance side of things, and moving up the steps than I did/do with the no-food element of the diet!

I won't say that doing SS has been easy - at times it has been BLOODY hard, and weekends in particular have been sometimes a bit of a stress, just because I do actually love cooking, and I have missed it. But for me, it has removed the issue of food, over eating and general greediness from my life.

I have a pretty hectic life, in both my personal life and my job, and not many people know this about me but I have often used food as a form of power and control when everything else around me has been falling apart. When I was younger (12-15) I used food as a way to cope with general teenage changes - I quickly become anorexic. When I was 15 I got with a boyfriend who was abusive, and used food as a comfort - and got overweight. Now, my parents are splitting up - and I could be made homeless, as well as having a job which is what many would consider "a dream career" but I consider to be highly stressful as I am faced with poor pay, and NO stability, one day I could be in work, the next I could be facing being unemployed.

So, I have in some ways, used this diet as a 'constant' as a way of being in control of something in my life. I haven't cheated once in ten weeks - but I am petrified of losing the stability of the diet, and having to return to real food.

I am a control freak - plain and simple - I crave stability in life, and I love to organise and have things just so. I am one of these people that when I set my mind to it, it needs to be done now now now, but when things start going wrong or not to plan, I tend to be crazy impulsive e.g a couple of years ago I was rejected from a job, so moved to America. Another example, last week I went to Ikea for a candle, but saw a bed that I liked, so had to buy the whole bedroom set, and paint my room, and put new flooring down, because I couldn't stand the thought of it being half done.

This element of my life has often got me into serious debt. I currently live in an overdraft and on many credit cards. Only today - because of this fear of ending the diet - I went out and bought a steamer, a top end food processor, about 20 cooking books and a weighing scales. Just to prepare. All on the credit card.

I am going to need some serious support when I do have to re introduce food into my diet. I hope Minimins can provide that?!

Another thing, I have taken control of one thing in my life and decided to leave my job. I have just been offered a much better job, with a three year contract, with holidays and benefits - and this is more than I could have ever expected where I am now. My head is battling my heart slightly as I do enjoy my current job, and the new job is walking away from my 'career dream' somewhat - but I am starting to think that it is for the best, and I will enjoy being in a job where I have some sort of security - for three years at least.

However! The first three days of my new job are a residential, and it just so happens to be my first three days of 810 - ARGH! I really feel like staying on SS while I am there, even if my colleagues think I am mad - because I am too worried of the temptations of food, and ruining 810 before I have begun.

I have a weigh in tonight, not hoping for a huge loss, but I have less than a stone till my ultimate goal anyway - so not too worried. Hoping to get to 8 stone by the 26/03 and then lose the last half stone on the steps.

Wow, writing this has been quite cathartic. :queen:

Hi Beth - congratulations on your terrific weight loss and sticking to CD so well! It sounds like you have loads going on in your life and a big change coming up with a new job. I'm sure if you bring the same attention to the steps as you did to SS, you will be fine and still in control - if you feel yourself slipping you can always go back to SS and take a break.

Hopefully the rest of your life will start to settle down as you get into the job and doing the steps. Perhaps a bit less on the impulse buying - did you really completely redo your bedroom on an impulse?? Wow!

Hi Tizzy, thanks for your support

Yes I did do my bedroom on a whim, started looking at kitchen stuff today...I dont know whats wrong with me LOL, I don't even have my own house yet!! No wonder I cant afford to move out, Ive spent all my money on furniture!!

Tehe. How are you getting on with the diet?

I lost 2 pounds this week, happy with that at this stage. Weirdly, I am only starting to really see the weightloss, its strange I started at a size 14 and felt like I was a 14 foreverrr but I bought size ten clothes in the last couple of weeks and they are already feeling too big - must be much less between a ten and an eight than there is between a fourteen and a twelve.

xxxxxx

PS: Told my boss and team today that I was leaving, felt really sad, they were all really supportive, and they have supported me through this diet - I do love them all, but the contract terms of the job are just to unstable to stay there I need a home to put all this furniture in hahaha!! xx

Hmmm, perhaps you should be getting a few things in size 8, just in case? Sounds like you're almost ready for it!

I'm doing ok on the diet - not 100% every day but below the SS+ threshold, except for the 2 dinners I've had. I'm getting ready to go skiing for a week and will go off diet entirely then. My CDC suggested I bring products and have them for breakfast or dinner, but who's got room in the luggage for that, given today's restrictions???

When do you start the new job and are you taking any time off between old job and new job?

Tizzy you should not have encouraged me! hehe.

Just spent over £500 on Next online - stocking up on smaller clothes. I know they aren't going to fit yet - but worth doing for the future and also as motivation to stay small!!!

God I have really really overspent this month! I will be paying all this back when I am 50!

I am struggling a bit this week, just because I think it is hard when your goal is in sight - every pound seems to come off more slowly, and I am scared that I will have to move up the steps before I get to my SS goal weight.

Also feel like my weight loss has halted this week - but I think that may be to do with my distinct lack of water - so today I am on a mission. Pint 4 at half 2, that is good for me.

Also ate some protein last night - just 3 chicken slices, simply because I feel I have been lacking in energy this week - I think with everything going on with work and whatnot I have overdone it, so treated myself to plain chicken slices. They were gross. Really salty and disgusting. Cannot wait to experiment with my new tasty cookbooks, recipes and my food processor and steamer when SS is done.

I think because I am under 9 stone, the weight really does come off slowly because I am smaller. Its frustrating because I am so short I still need to lose the last few pounds to be happy! A size eight-ten for me is right - I am only tiny in height and build, so when I was up at a 14, I looked really large for my frame, plus it was all fatty not a good size 14.

Going to get the paperwork for my gym membership too this week. In my quest to be in control I have decided to get a "bridge card." This is where you pay a monthly subscription and you get access to all gym,pool and fitness classes in the local authority area. Great value and means I can do an hour of swimming, and hour in the gym, and hour of Zumba and an hour of spin each week. I think this is a decent amount of exercise and will help me tone up - I also have a Wii fit which I hope to use more, and me and my OH are keen walkers so we will take up our Sunday hike again when the weather is nicer.

No Tizzy I don't have time off between jobs, I finish my current job on the 23rd, then I have residential training the next week. Well I lie, I have the Monday and Tuesday off of that week - I am sure two days off will be much needed by then!

xxxx

Sounds like you have a plan to shift the last few pounds and get toned as well! And the clothes to wear when you get there!

I cannot believe it.

I know Next sizes are big...but....I have had to send back most of the clothes that I bought from Next, because they are too big!!!

I am keeping a couple of tops, and three pairs of jeans which are actually wearable but I could do with losing a bit of muffin top (just cannot believe I can get them on at all!) and a pair of tan wedges, and a nice polka dot summer dress (which I am wearing today and is actually slightly big but meh, it's cute!) and two pairs of running capri trousers.

But, I am sending back a shorts suit, a couple of dresses, and most of the tops, because they DROWNED me. I think this is because I have lost most of my weight from the top half.

It is funny really, because yesterday I also bought a dress from Topshop and a play suit from River Island in a size ten, and they fit, but I could do with losing a couple more pounds - Irony!

Anyway, it is going to be a long weekend for me, because it's the finale of the Six Nations and my beloved Wales are going for a Grand Slam - I am rugby MAD. Seriously, rugby MAD.

Hope we win

But it does involve a WHOLE DAY standing in a field in Cardiff while 250,000 people around me get drunk! *testing my patience*

In other news, my steamer, and my new food processor arrived yesterday - EXCITEMENT! I also bought 4 Low GI lifestyle books with recipes, and Low GI shopping lists, and Red Yellow and Green GI food lists.

Nothing like thorough preparation.

P.s No-one at my work seems to care that I am leaving, at all. But it is their loss, not mine. It just makes me feel all the more justified for departing.

Wow! Excellent that you're too small for the clothes you bought - you're thinner than you thought!

I used to live with a Scot and watched the 6 Nations rooting for the Scottish team (don't hate me!). So you're actually going to be there in person - have a really, really good time! Hope your team wins!

Are you on one of the steps where you eat real food as well as the CD products or just stocking up in anticipation? I'd be interested to hear how you like the recipes in the low GI cookbooks.

Just stocking up in preparation (remember I am Miss control!) The GI foods look lovely - they are very similar to the recipes in the Cambridge Meals in Minutes book which I will be using for the steps 2-5.

hehe, thanks for the vote of confidence for Wales. One of our most historic and well loved players from the 1970s died today - so we are hoping his spirit is with us tomorrow. Us Welsh love NOTHING more than rugby - as you can tell from the fact that a 12th of population is going into Cardiff tomorrow to watch the match. When we played in the world cup in New Zealand back in October 70,000 people turned up at the Millenium Stadium at 7 am, to watch the game on a screen! I think Wales is the only place where almost 100,000 people would go out to support a team playing on the other side of the world!!

I have painted my nails red in honour of the team, and will be wearing lucky red knickers tomoro - but I am trying to get a colour of clothing for each team (Green Jeans for Ireland, Blue shoes for France, A Blue denim shirt for Italy and a white lace vest for England. Though of course my underwear will be red because Wales is closest to my heart

xxx

What a weekend

A fabulous win for Wales in the rugby..followed by a nationwide celebration! I managed to stay out from eleven am until about seven pm....though most people partied through the night I was probably the only sober person in wales yesterday so i am very proud of my resolve...stuck to water all day..but by early eve it was time to go home!

I wore my size eight jeans yesterday and honestly felt fab for the first time ever on a day out. So pleased that i got into them!

Also my mum...who has been.suprisingly quiet throughout this diet...said today fair play you have done so well and you look great. She never hands out a compliment without meaning it so that was a boost.

I spent today buying new kitchen equipment/crockery/cutlery etc. Now my job is more secure I am hoping by the end of the year i can rent somewhere with the oh so I am buying things gradually...god knows the oh wont do it!

The second half of the day was spent reading this



This is what I will be following for maintenance after cambridge. A low GL diet. I have bought a couple of other books based around GI/GL to look through while I do the steps. But Patrick Holford really is the master...and I think GL is more realistic and true to life than GI. This book is amazing should anyone be looking into GI and GL lifestyle choices...I will let you know how I get along with the other books as I read them.

This book has a diet and maintenance section...so also good for people looking to lose weight

Thats about it for now, here I go on what will be my last full week of SS. Its also my last week at ITV.

....the times they are a changing (lets hope its for the better) xxx

Hello lovely
greetings from a big Glasgow warriors and Scotland fan. fantastic result for Wales, was over the moon when your team got the grand slam.
I am v impressed on your self control this weekend. I have been to cardiff for rugby weekends - in 2009 i even went to two Wales games, Wales v Australia and then Wales v New Zealand.
good luck with the new job

foxyx

Hiya Foxy!

Thanks for the support for the boys! I was cheering scotland on...was gutted that they ended up at the bottom of the table...because they actually played well in most matches...stuart hogg and richie gray...players to watch.

Cardiff is great for a match day..always a good atmos...was hoping there would be some good games against the southern hemisphere in the summer..but they are all taking place in aus!

I am from bridgend so i have seen the glasgow warriors play a few times...back before the wru ruined regional rugby in bridgend did you ever watch a game at the brewery field?? Thats my second home xxxx

i have only been to millenium, cardiff arms and cardiff city. Less said about our six nations the better. there is a guy on the warriors forum who reckons robinson is a plant by the rfu to cock up scottish rugby. so far it could be said he is doing a trick. went to bridgeend train station when i missed the airport station lol
hope your drinking lots of water

Hi Cupcake, well done on your fab weight loss....from a fellow Welsh girl....very proud of or glandslam win, our boys did good! Always feel terribly home sick when the 6 nations are on and miss Cardiff especially on rugby days! Just realised both of our names are to do with cake.....do you think it's a Welsh thing!

hahaha hello fellow cakey and welshy!

are you not living in wales anymore??

Cardiff was amazing yesterday..although slightly too busy at times!!

rugby is my number one love. im a journalist so i have spent a lot of time with the boys over the last year....and i was brought up alongside a few of them at regional rugby level...so i am very protective of them lol...like a mother hen!!!! to get a grandslam and world cup semi finalists in five months...amazing.

thanks for the weightloss comment! i am terrified of leaving cambridge lol! are you doing the diet too?

where abouts are u from originally? xxxx

ps cake is just universally good hahaha.

I'm from Adamsdown in Cardiff and moved to Kent 14 years ago....god time really does fly! All my family are still home tho and I'm coming back in a couple of weeks!! would have loved to have been in town yesterday! Started on the 7th and lost 8lbs so looking forward to my WI on Tuesday morn! I had to start on SS+ 4 packs and some skimmed milk as I'm an inch too tall! Feeling ok so far as I really want to get this body suit off! The thought of seeing the year out this big scared me as it was a shock when I saw I was 16.11...worked out that I've put nearly 3 stone on since I got married in may 2010....if I carry on like this ill be 50 stone on our 13th anniversary! I can see why you are apprehensive about finishing CD but you've done great and you now need to enjoy your life......it'll all work out in the end. Speak soon fellow Welshy x

Aww how strange, I was born in Kent and moved to Wales!

Where in Kent are you living?

Well done on getting started on Cambridge, I think the first week or two are the hardest. I am now on week eleven, and would happily stay on the diet a while longer (although I am looking forward to the next healthy eating stage of my diet)

A great loss for me this week - 3lbs. Cannot believe it - very pleased. This means I only have 2 pounds to lose next week before hitting my SS goal. I am hoping to reach 8 stone before I move on to 810 and up the steps - so LOTS of water this week and lots of positive thinking!

xxx

I live in Rainham been here for a few years now and it's central so we like it! It's good to talk to someone who nearly finished as I can now see the end in sight, the last two weeks have gone quite quickly in some ways and I just hope the next 10 are the same, will probably go to SS+ with a meal then as I don't think I can handle it longer than 12 weeks but we'll see! Well done on your loss, that's great when you've hardly got anything left to shift....you must be tiny now! Good luck for this week....I can feel another good loss and lots of trips to the loo! Speak soon x

ah rainham..other side of the medway to me! i was born in chatham..lived in gillingham and maidstone. still go back to visit a lot...its my second home!
i promise you these weeks will go much quicker than you expect! I am having my first meal out tomoro...going to get a salad or white fish and substitute potatoes for salad. hope it doesnt affect my weight loss...it is my leaving do for work so it would be reaaaally rude not to eat!!! xxxx

oh my gosh. was feeling fine about eating at the meal yesterday (chicken spinach and mushrooms) but today the scales has gone UP two pounds. holymoly...surely this cannot be right? argh! im being silly...i know..but my naughty ex eating disorder part of my brain is shouting 'i told you so' and this worries me for reintroducing food. meh. today has been stressful in work and very frantic trying to tie things up before leaving...diet needs to be the least of my worries!!! bring on the weekend.