Thread: Rambling and trying to stay strong

I am really really struggling at the moment and keep letting myself down. I have never struggled like this before, I feel tired and rundown and not myself.
I am going to try and come on here whenever I feel as though I am weakening. I apologise to anyone that wades through my drivel. I have been eating and doing CD. I haven't been binging or eating rubbish and if I counted my calories I am still way under a normal daily intake.
I really do want to lose more weight, it is a long way to my healthy weight range and my clothes are tight.
I can't help but feel disgusting and like I am failing every day. If I post here every time I feel like eating something I will be on here a lot! Hopefully it will help.
If I could just do it for a week i think I would be ok.

I'm assuming your stats are up to date? Look how far you've come. You need to focus on the good not the bad. Stop beating yourself up and be nice to yourself. xx

Stats are a little out if date now as I have out a bit back on, but nothing like what I lost. I have woken up this morning after a poor nights sleep but determined to have a good day. Had my morning shake and a fruit tea and now on my black coffee. I think I might try an grab another hour of sleep later.
I have the day off work and I am supposed to be relaxing, but I suspect I will end up doing housework all day.
Day 1 of my test week underway

Go for it. You know how good it feels when you go to bed knowing you've been 100% that day! get your house work over with then give yourself a little pamper.

Best of luck for your test week, hopefully after 7 days you'll be in the swing of things and determined to carry on.

I use this site A LOT! It does help when you're having a low moment, post away! x

Had a little size an dreamed I had eaten Chicken wings. Most relieved when I woke up.
Having a drink then will do more cleaning. Already got a wash on.
Brief temptation to pinch some cheese from the fridge but I didn't. I think I will literally have to come on here every time I am tempted.
I have a hot yoga lesson tonight. I kind of wish I hadn't booked it so I could laze about more but I always feel better afterwards

Ha just realised I put size instead of doze


Well so far so good. Still 100% but have had cravings all day. Need to decide whether I am going to yoga or not.

Nearly bed time on a 100% day. I am hungry but I am having a herbal tea. Done my hot yoga and my meditation classes.
Tomorrow is Saturday which is always hard for me so I guess there might be a lot of nonsense posts on here from me!

Awake bright and early as the kitchen fitter coming to fix us. He will be here at 7. Really need to go back to sleep!
Hoping for another good day, feel so much better with myself for managing it yesterday.

Feel lie I have been up for hours. Had my bar and now having a coke zero as a weekend treat. So far so good. Toying with the idea of a SS meal tonight but I am unsure. If I am only having it because it is Saturday that isn't the right way to think is it?
OH has all his lovely home brew ready to drink tonight but I won't give in.
I need to keep reminding myself I why I am doing this. My brain keeps throwing up obstacles, most of which don't make any sense. For example, that my clothes will be too big and I won't be able to wear them. This is nonsense, as a lot of them are currently too tight and I can always take things in if I really love them. Done it before successfully.
The other thing my brain is struggling with is how long it might take to get to goal (I need to get 14kg off) and this makes me feel as though I should stop. This makes no sense at all I know. Even if I only got half way there that would make me feel and look significantly better. Finally the fact I have lots of social events and weekends away coming up is making me feel like its not worth bothering. This too is rubbish. Even if I went way off plan on these events every single time (which I won't) I would still be significantly lighter come summer if I am good the rest of the time. And feeling good at these events is one of the main reasons for dieting in the first place!
Excuse my nonsense. I do find that it helps to write it all out, it makes me realise how irrational it all is.
I think one thing that has kicked all this confused thinking off over the last few weeks is my CwP leader suggesting I think about setting myself a time limit, I have been on this more than 12 months and my lifestyle has changed significantly, I am doing far more exercise than ever before. She is suggesting the middle of May as the end to any SS activity and losing any remaining weight on a higher step or using a different method
V confusing!

I am doing this for lots of reasons. I want to be able to wear my amazing vintage clothes and look great. I want to be able to go on holiday and think about baring all instead of covering up all the time. I want to be the girl who wears a floaty skirt without leggings. I want to be able to get my head right to the floor in standing splits in yoga. I want to be fit and well to have a long and happy life with my husband. I want to feel good. I want to be light on my feet and petite. I want to not develop type two diabetes like my dad did at my age. I want my social life to be more enjoyable. The nice bits without the worrying about what to wear.
So far so good. I will add more as I think of them. I need to stay strong

You WILL get there. You have lots of good reasons to carry on and none to stop. Well done for coming on here and using it to keep you motivated.

Thanks lass 321. I am readying. My sparkling water for my Saturday night in!

Yay! I'll join you with a lime and soda water

Success in staying 100% but it is weigh in tonight a I don't think I will have lost anything from last time. This is what I find frustrating, my body is so up and down with water retention etc I never get steady losses. Grit my teeth and get it over with and start a new week.