I've started and i will finish.

80lb to go, gulp. 13lb in the first week and weigh in tomorrow. It is going to be a long journey ahead but I am determined. I may have days in the months to come when I waver and wobble but I want to remember why I am doing this:
First and foremost so that I can grow old with my husband and see my children grow up.
Reduce my blood pressure and come if the pills.
Reduce my cholesterol mad come off the pills.
Not use my under active thyroid as am excuse not to try and reduce my weight.
To have energy.
To be able to participate in all activities when in Barbados in the summer.
To feel comfortable in my body.
To feel as attractive as my husband seems to find me regardless of my weight.
To not shy away from photographs and always be the photographer.
For my children's friends not to comment to them about my weight.
So that I do not always wonder if people are focusing on my weight when they first meet me.
To wear my wedding ring again.
To wear my engagement ring again.
To wear my eternity ring again.
To wear my grandmother's ring again.
To throw away my big clothes.
To get out and wear my slim clothes.
To be proud of my weight loss.

And so to bed...

I begin week three tomorrow. I am so pleased. Weigh in was today and another 4lbs has gone. Two weeks in and have gone from 17stone something to 15stone something! I am particularly pleased as I am on step two and had a planned break on Christmas day. I was good though- I did not have any CD products but drank loads of water and ate:
half a bread roll
5 prawns
a piece of smoked salmon
a tablespoon of crab
salad
turkey
stuffing
sausage without the bacon
Brussels sprouts
a slice of frangipane
two chocolates.

Written out it seems a lot but it is nothing compared to a normal Christmas day!! The bread roll and the two chocolates were unplanned!

Today my mother was over and I really do not want her to know I am doing CD so I cooked fish with veg and new potatoes. I only ate the fish and veg, as per step two and missed the pudding of homemade apple pie. I am full still but have two CD products still to fit in!

I like how in control of my eating I feel at the moment.

well done, very good results for you. i am on day 1 today of a restart....all going ok just need to guzzle the water...how many litres do you do?

Thank you. I drink the full amount as either pure water, tea or thinning out the shakes and soups. Good luck with the restart. How is it going?

Today I went to my fathers and continue on step two. I ate more protein than I should have but stuck to my plan. No one even noticed that I had a plate of meat and no pudding! too busy talking!! I am now feeling a little bloated despite having eaten at 3pm. My stomach is not used to it at all!
Had a bar on my way there and a large amount of water and I think that helped me not to pick at the nibbles and overeat. This is new to me as I would normally avoid having a shake or a bar as I think I am going eat and why add more cals. The bar actually prevented me from overeating. Not rocket science but new to me!
Sweets everywhere from Christmas but have managed not to eat them. The apple pie and fresh custard and cream in the fridge is so tempting but I am resisting.

A bit about me- I am who I am

http://www.minimins.com/cd-off-topic/332528-i-am-who-i-am.html

I was thinking how my maternal grandmother used to say frequently, 'I'm too old to change' and 'I am not going to change now.' My grandfather, her husband, had the saying in the title, 'You can't teach old dogs new tricks.' I remember thinking, 'Well there is no arguing with that.' What can you say to that, it is pretty final. I have recently noticed my mother saying similar things and I have been left wondering how much sayings like this have contributed to me forming certain constructs and what other unhelpful constructs do I have.

With regard to this one I am determined not to make it true. There is a feeling of resignation and giving up to those sayings. Being alive brings with it an ability to change and move forward. Is life worth living if there is no movement (I would suggest no movement is impossible anyway!)?

When I think about the genes we are born with, there is a sense of predetermination and resignation. In fact genes are just the beginning and genomes change over a lifetime. The mutations can be helpful, harmful or make no difference at all. How they change is a different matter and one we do not really understand fully yet. So, if the fundamentals of what make us can change at any point in our life then surely I can change the fundamentals of my thinking and constructs. The question is how to do this and do we need to know the cause (childhood, trauma, illness, unhelpful cognitions or constructs, etc) to make change. I do not know! What I do know is that you can have all the understanding in the world and still feel paralysed to change, a helping hand with tools to help you change can have a significant impact (eg other people's blogs and the weight watchers programme!).

Change is tough and I do not think there is a smooth journey to anything in life as the world is full of humans! The journey probably comes with ups and downs, forward and backward steps. How much control we have over the events in our lives may vary but one thing I do have some control over is how I react to good and bad times and whether I allow them to stop me changing in the way I want to. Whatever happens I want to be a on a continuous journey of change and development as the one thing I have learnt is the more I learn the more I realise I do not know and the more I am hungry to know more!

Well done on your great start, especially at such a difficult time of year x

Well done Hun you have really inspired me and probably others too. Be proud of yourself and I hope it keeps up for you x

Thanks.

Today has been my first blip. I had 10 liquorice comforts! So annoyed with myself. I was at home, my husband at work and I had just dropped my children at my sister's to stay overnight. I have spent the last 12 hours studying. I have just finished 6 years of studying part time for a doctorate and passed my viva subject to some amendments that I need to do. Having spent months and months writing the first version I lost all motivation to tackle the changes. Anyway today was the day I decided to make a start. I did well but the jar of liquorice comforts was watching me and I succumbed thinking well at least they will be out of the house. Stupid,
stupid, stupid!

Tomorrow I intend to do at least 6 hours studying and before the children come home and I will not succumb again (well there are not any left anyway!). I may cut up a CD bar and put it in the jar so at lease I have something.

So so cross!

Don't be cross with yourself. Put it behind you, move on and tomorrow is a brand new day. everyone has slip ups, we're only human xx

Wow yesterday was hard and I did not even go out. We were in bed early and all but me asleep at midnight! Getting old!! Lol. Loved it though. I studied all day before the children returned. I managed to stick with cd and not cheat but it was a constant struggle. Food seemed to be on my mind all the time! Anyway, a new year and this time next year a slender and healthier me.

Happy 2014 to all. Xxx

I have been away from minimins for a little while in an attempt to focus on the last bit of work before I complete my doctorate (after 6 years of studying). Tonight I decided to have a night off. I am continuing on my weight loss journey. On week 5. I know the weight loss is faster than on other programmes. I am doing step 2 as I have a lot of commitments where I have to eat out. This offers me the flexibility to not feel guilty. I wonder how much I would drop and how fast if I was on ss. Oh well no good dwelling on it!
Roll on Barbados in 205 days time! Woo hoo, slim me.
Oh yes and delighted- my 8 year old son hugged me and told me my tummy was going away. He stood back, rubbed his hands over it and said, will it be straight like mine? I assured him it never would be and he was relieved!! Love him!

I love what you've said about change, and it's so true. We change all the time, if you had a traumatic event, that would change you, if you had health problems, that would change you. If we can change when it's not in our control, we can obviously change when it is.

I think your need to snack when you're studying is probably more about the breaks from study than the food. Try having a bottle of water with you and you'll hopefully reach for that first. Or just give yourself scheduled breaks to do something specific, like stretch, or go outside for some fresh air. It might help with the cravings, especially if it's not specifically food you're after. If you're in ketosis, you can be sure it's not hunger, so it's worth trying to figure out what's really going on.

Well done so far, keep it up!

Thanks FunnyFarm, helpful words.

Another 3lbs this week. So pleased as that is 24lbs in total! Getting there....

Well after a great meeting with my CD counsellor I have let myself down. I had planned to eat as we had our late Christmas with in laws. I was hoping for a roast so that I could eat mainly protein. Instead it was a lovely creamy curry!! Oops! Anyway I ate it and then came home and made sticky toffee and banana cakes for the children and ate two!! Idiot. Back on CD now!

I have so far lost, in 5 weeks 24lb and inches lost are:
Waist 3
Hips 4
Chest 3
Arm 1
Thigh 2

Must keep this in mind.

Another 3lbs this week. That means a pound off two stones in 6 weeks. I have 28 weeks until I am going to Barbados and 53lbs to go. I am on track but I must stay on track! If I get rid of 3lbs a week that is 18 weeks taking me to the end of May; 2lbs will take me to the holiday. Gosh, I am not sure that has helped! It seems a long way away! I have my graduation for my doctorate in July and certainly want to be at target for then. I have my first degree and masters graduation pictures, at least I will have one I like!

I am picking a bit and need to stop. I also need to bring my water intake up. I am a little sick of people now saying to me, gosh you have lost weight, do you think you are loosing it too fast? Mind your own business, is what I want to say!!

I think you're doing amazingly well! I'm only on day 2 but I like it and enjoying the control I have. I like you am doing the ss+ as work away a lot and then at least I can have a smaller portion of food as everyone else(minus carbs of course)! I hope my scales aren't wrong as they say I have already lost 6lb of my scary journey of losing 65lb! Eeeek!

Have been away from minimins for a while. It was very quiet and I felt I was talking to space!! I am getting there slowing. As I am on step 2 I need to remember I will not drop weight as quickly as someone on step one. I think this approach may help me keep at it. We shall see. I hit 30lb weight loss this week. Still 49lbs to go but I am delighted. Off to Barbados in the summer. To get to target in time I need to drop about 2lb a week. I wonder if a detour into step one in a few weeks time may be an idea!