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Thread: what's your favorite bad joke

  1. #1
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    clarecbear82's Avatar
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    what's your favorite bad joke

    I need cheering up

  2. #2
    Starting over
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    Two Owls playing pool.. They hadn't played before and one potted the white ball, the other one said
    "That's two hits" the other one said "Two hits? two hits to who?"

  3. #3
    Skinny (to be) Stef
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    Why was the Mexican called Paragraph?

    Because he wasn't quite an 'essay'!
    Fatbeautyx likes this.
    Vlogging a JUDDD/Slimming World journey on Youtube. Catch me at www.youtube.com/FaithFluro

  4. #4
    *5*
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    Why did the banana go to the doctors?

    Because he wasn't peeling very well.
    Emmaline likes this.
    "A dream is a wish your heart makes" Cinderella
    Giving up sugar/sweetner in tea for Lent


  5. #5
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    How about a "blonde" joke?

    A chemist and his blonde girlfriend were out to dinner. The waiter asks them what they would like to drink. The chemist says "As I'm a chemist I will have some H20"

    The blonde says "I'll have some H2O too!" So the waiter brings her H202.
    Emmaline likes this.

  6. #6
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    A blind man was in the supermarket with his guide dog. He starts swinging his dog aroun, knocking all the cans off the shelf. The manager comes up all angry and asks 'what are you doing?' And the guy says 'just looking around'
    fattymcfatterson likes this.
    In these brown eyes, the world passing me by


  7. #7
    The Tortoise

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    Love those...



    http://www.minimins.com/editpost.php...postid=6101041






    April 2010 - 16st 2lb
    2013 January 7th - 14st 8lb ..... December 30th - 13st 6.2lb

    2014

    Jan. 6th/ 13st 6.4lb 13th/ 13st 8lb 20th/ 13st 4lb 27th/ 13st 5lb
    Feb. 3rd/ 13st 8lb 10th/ 13st 6lb 17th/ 13st 6lb 24th/ 13st 5.4lb
    March 3rd/ 13st 4.4lb 10th/ STS 17th/ 13st 7.8lb 24th/ STS 31st/ 13st 8.8lb
    April 7th/ 13st 6.2 14th/ 13st 4.6 21st/ STS 28th/ 13st 2.4
    May 5th/ 13st 2.4 12th/ Away 19th/ 13st 2.2 26th/ STS
    June 2nd/ 13st 7.7 9th/ STS 16th/ STS 23rd/ STS 30th?STS
    July 7th/ 13st 8lb 14th/ 13st 6.4 21st/13st 5lb 28th/ 13st 3.4
    August 4th/ 13st4.6 11th/ STS 18th/13st6lb 25th/ 13st8.2lb
    Sept. 1st/ 13st5.4lb 8th/ 13st5lbs 15th/ STS









    All the world is mad except thee and me and even thee's a little odd!

  8. #8
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    how do bees brush their hair?
    with a honeycomb!
    mini goals
    • get into 13s -
    • lose 1/2 stone
    • lose a stone
    • get into 12s

  9. #9
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    What's a pirates favourite letter? ......... R! ......... You may think it's the R, but it's the C!

  10. #10
    Life is what you make it
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    This one gets lots of strange looks - followed by laughs... LOL

    Why couldnt Freddy ride a bike?

    Because he was a fish!! haha
    The food you eat can be either the safest& most powerful form of medicine
    or
    the slowest form of poison

    My Diary My New Diary!
    its-about-journey-not-destination






    To some, they are just a dog - To me they are my Life
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  11. #11
    Life is what you make it
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    Another is in a serious conversation look at the person and say how do you make a sausage roll? *cue them discussing pastry etc* let them talk for a while - then interrupt aand say

    Push It.
    The food you eat can be either the safest& most powerful form of medicine
    or
    the slowest form of poison

    My Diary My New Diary!
    its-about-journey-not-destination






    To some, they are just a dog - To me they are my Life
    Itoy Shadow, Suerti Smokoy and Cheeky Cino

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  12. #12
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    Knock knock
    Who's there?
    Little man
    Little man who
    Little man who can't reach the door bell!
    Emmaline likes this.

  13. #13
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    Where do you find a tortoise with no legs?


    Where you left it!

  14. #14
    Life is what you make it
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    A horse walks into a bar - the barman says "why the long face?"
    The food you eat can be either the safest& most powerful form of medicine
    or
    the slowest form of poison

    My Diary My New Diary!
    its-about-journey-not-destination






    To some, they are just a dog - To me they are my Life
    Itoy Shadow, Suerti Smokoy and Cheeky Cino

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    Get under 130 Kgs: DONE!!! 7/06/2014
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    Get under 100 kgs:

  15. #15
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    Why did Sarah fall off the swing?
    She had no arms.

    Knock knock.
    Who's there?
    Not Sarah.
    Fatbeautyx likes this.
    "Anything is possible, It's your choice whether or not you choose to make IT happen."

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