Thread: Not diet related/not for the squeamish...okay...I have a curious nature:o

Sorry...just couldn't help myself. I'm always curious...but it is interesting to see how people from different cultures and times deal with the whole death business.

To see some 'interesting' photos from Book of the Dead, press here

Are they all dead then? Even the ones with their eyes open??????

I think it's quite sweet actually - at least the bereaved would have a lovely photograph of their departed loved ones.

I dont think they are all dead. Just the dead ones

Bit difficult to say which ones those are though

I agree, they are sweet photos. Not really stomach churning stuff or anything.

The prudish Victorians were repressed on many subjects but death was viewed as a normal event and not hid away like it is in our clinical modern society.

I was quite choked looking at some of the pics but one in particular had my lip trembling and that was the one on the first page, about half way down with the dad holding the baby. He looks bereft and has placed his finger in his little one's hand: I did the very same thing when I held my son after we lost him.

That's a very powerful picture.

I know what you mean Isobel, I had to look at some of them twice to be sure! I think whatever gives comfort without offence to anyone else is good too, but isn't it sad the high infant mortality rate then?
When my mum died ten years ago I had never seen anyone dead before. When I did her hair wasn't how she usually wore it, and without thinking I took out my brush and re-did it and applied some lipstick before giving her a kiss.
It was strange to think about it later as I was numb with grief at the time but it seemed so right, I wanted her to look as she always did when my dad and others saw her, and I am so glad now I did, some family couldn't face seeing her, we are all different. I didn't take her photo though!

Thanks for posting them..
I think they are lovely photos..

Personally I have always been fascinated with the death business. I used to get called morbid & sad for taking an interest in it all when I used to work in the factory. I like to watch autopsies too, I think its really interesting & would love to get into the funeral industry..

Glad to hear I'm not the onlyone interested in the subject! One of the most interesting books I've ever read was entitled 'The Fireside Book of Death'. My family think I'm a total ghoul!!

Originally Posted by Paprika

When my mum died ten years ago I had never seen anyone dead before. When I did her hair wasn't how she usually wore it, and without thinking I took out my brush and re-did it and applied some lipstick before giving her a kiss.
It was strange to think about it later as I was numb with grief at the time but it seemed so right, I wanted her to look as she always did when my dad and others saw her, and I am so glad now I did, some family couldn't face seeing her, we are all different.

Aww that made me get a lump in my throat.
I know what you mean, I think we all cope with shock differently, when I went to see my grandad, he was the 1st person I saw dead, I saw him when he had only just died, laid on his bed but his mouth was wide open & all his daughters including my mam was cuddling him & kissing him, but I couldnt bear to kiss him with his mouth open, it freaked me out.
When I went to see him in the funeral home, he looked exactly how he used to look before he got cancer, which was nice to see & his hand was in the same position as when he died like cupped (thumb & 1st finger together) as we used to put our fingers in his cupped hand.
My mam took his veil off & started kissing him on the forehead, everytime I went to kiss him I kept having visions of him popping up saying 'stick the kettle on kel'.
After about 3 attempts I kissed him & that smell & feeling on my lips will stay with me forever.

x

Originally Posted by Russiandoll

Glad to hear I'm not the onlyone interested in the subject! One of the most interesting books I've ever read was entitled 'The Fireside Book of Death'. My family think I'm a total ghoul!!

I am so interested, my family think I have a screw loose. lol

So whats this book about then?

We have a long tradition of waking the dead especially here in the west of Ireland.

My mother was one of the women who would help out preparing the body along with other women in the neighbourhood.

So when her time came she had me well rehearsed on how to do it and what she wanted to wear as we discussed it fully.

When she died after nine grueling weeks of being bed ridden dieing from lung cancer. I went in to automatic pilot and with the help of the hospice nurse and her neighbours who were also nurses we got her all ready in her favourite dress that my dad liked on her. She wore her pearl earing's and necklace and I did her hair the way she wore it going out for the night and I put some lipstick on and a little on her checks...just as she always had done herself.

One of the things she had said was to make sure I plucked all the chin hairs before anyone saw her, so there I am plucking these chin hairs that you could hardly see but feel under your finger tip as she had insisted that they be got rid off!

The nurses were just looking at me and God only knows what was going through their head, but we were a strange family at the best of times so what was new

My mother had everything from the candles, cross and all the bits for the table beside her bed and all this old white linen that she was so fond of and had used herself many a time to dress the beds of the dead.

So now it was her time for it to be used...Dad had died ten months before and he died in hospital and he was in his coffin and that was probably the way he would of wanted it, no fuss and to go out quietly.

So she was laid out on the bed in her dress and finery and I had convinced her to leave her wedding band on as she had always worn it and it held such sentimental value to her...the other thing was an old coin with the date of the year they got married on it and it was in a little plastic pouch and she wanted this in her hands.

My mother loved flowers and in days gone by when there was no such thing a floweriest she would hand make beautiful wreaths and flower arrangements for the dead and the living as she was a keen gardener herself. So now here room was filled with tulips and daffodils and with all sorts of roses and baskets of flowers that her friends, family and good neighbours had sent her and arrived at the house laden down with.

She looked beautiful when she was laid out and very much at peace and everyone tells me to this day she made a lovely corpse!

I Know my mum would of been happy with how well she looked.

I took photos of both my parents after they died and I do find comfort in them as they did look at peace and I think they found the peace they were looking for most of their lives, but sadly I don't think they ever found. I feel the photos did help me come to terms with them gone and both looked very well and I guess that does make a difference as well.

Love Mini xxx

i didnt even click the link, i do not want to see pictures of dead people, i never went to see my mum when she died as i wanted to remember her smiling and being my mum, but i wouldnt knock anyone who does i think its just personal choice

That is so lovely mini, all that love and care, I found it very touching to read.

Carol xx

Originally Posted by thecdthing

i didn't even click the link, i do not want to see pictures of dead people, i never went to see my mum when she died as i wanted to remember her smiling and being my mum, but i wouldn't knock anyone who does i think its just personal choice

Hi Gillian,

I can understand that if you have not been brought up that way it could feel very scary alright, but the reality is it does give closure.

We were attending wakes myself and my friends as far back as I can remember so it is all very natural to us and we accept it as part and parcel of life.

The time my mother was laid out I found her young grandchildren were wandering in and out of the room and going over to their Granny and kissing her or touching her face or hands and I found it all so natural as she was an excellent Granny.

I asked a couple of them how they felt and they all said she looked so beautiful and one of them piped up!

There's no coffin!!!

It is only the coffin we are afraid of.

And I think this goes for grown ups too!!!

We are afraid of the coffin more so.

When the time comes know ones knows how they will react.

Love Mini xxx

im not scared lol, i see spirits all the time every day, i just do not want to look at the bodies of dead people, and i chose not to see my mum cos it was an empty carcass to me, and not my mum, i preferred to remember her as she was, death itself does not scare me, i just think bodies are shells,

Wow Mini, what a story.
I think its nice you were brought up the way you were as seeing dead people wont frighten you, I think Death is such a taboo subject these days I wish there were more programmes about it.

After all Death will come to us all one day. Every day someones life is affected by death, I think alot more people should be more open about it, you never know when your time is up. My mam knows exactly what she wants at her funeral, she always says she wants this coffin, that song, bla bla bla. I say 'shut up I dont wanna think about it' but at the end of the day you never know whats round the corner & I would want the best for my family & try to do the best I could to give them the goodbye they wanted.