Thread: my diet poem

thought id share this with you all
I wrote this little poem when i first started my diet last year
it goes like this


Jo’s Diet

So one day Joanna stood on the scales
she looked in horror and started to wail

OMG am i really that heavy?
my arse is tiny but look at my belly!

Im related to the michelin man
look at the rolls I can grab in me hands

me bras to tight, I have boobs at the back
me knickers are lost, they've gone up me crack

when I stand up, I cant see me minge.
what a blimmin state to be in.

so to the fridge Joanna did go.
all the pizzas and chips she began to throw

all in the bin..the icecream too
when it was gone, she knew what to do

she decided to go to a cambridge diet meeting
to find out what she should really be eating

she got on the phone to a lady who knew
she was really nervous, but knew what to do

turned out, wasn’t just her in a bit of trouble
but others too, in a food obsessed bubble

at 17 stone plus, she felt oh so fat
but she went back home and had her first pack

butterscotch flavor, made with crushed ice,
she took a sip, and thought 'this is nice.

By the end of the week, she had stood her ground
to her amazement had lost 7 lb!

Im gonna be thin in no time at all
im gonna buy a dress and go to the ball

im gonna wear short skirts, hipsters, a bikini!
im gonna be thin...NO...im gonna be TEENY!
Copyright©2005jomc

That was cool - like it

Years ago I needed some help
Who do I see I felt such a welp
I looked in the press
I felt such a mess

Try CD the ad said
So I read and read
Called I soon did
The fat I must rid

The girl was real nice
came round in a trice

Milkshakes and soups
Lots of wees not many poops

Results will be quick
Sometimes you will feel sick

Never fear CD is here
your goal will soon be near

Success was quickly achieved
I have never been so relieved

To counselling I turned
to help those others who had been spurned

Life can be good
Look at it as you should
If you want to lose weight
your counsellor can be your bestest mate

Hi Devonbabe,

Excellent! Could be describing me...

Love Mini xxx

Hi CD Counsellor,

That hits it on the head as well!

I love poetry...

Love Mini xxx

Hi Devonbabe,

Lovely seeing you here how are you.

Linda

Very good, for your fantastic poetry, i give my blessing of 5 stars (rate thread function at top of this page)

Pierce

oh WOW!! 5 stars yeahhhhhhhhh.....thanks Peirce...how cool is that!

hiya Linda, how r u ?

this is a fab site, thanks for setting it up, it must have took u ages..its very clever of you.

x
db

I have always dreamed I'd be thinner
But frankly I've not been a winner
I 've tried in the past
But unable to last
I've simply got bigger and bigger!


So now I must really try hard
I have got to shift some of this lard
My face is alright
And hairs not a sight
But my figure is definately marred

So counting my cals every day
And exercise, that is the way
In a matter of time
I'll be fit and sublime
Yes, It's only a matter of time

Well done Barb
Remember no Carb
Stick to the Packs
Keep to the right tracks

Linda
CD Counsellor

Like it Barb, very good!

Linda, i think your a poet!

Fantastic poem Barb!

Pierce

There was this woman called Lin
Who wanted to help peeps get thin
a new forum appeared
by Min's son it was steered
Now watch all the fun begin

Phew need a lay down now

There once was a girl from Hastings
Who used to spend whole days just tastings

She caught sight of her bum
Thought 'What have I done?'

So started her life full of Shakings

That's about my limit on the poetry front

Cheb

There once was a girl called tpott
Who looked in the mirror and was shocked
Her boobs were huge
Her belly did wobble
Now she new she was in trouble
She phoned a nice lady from Cd
Who gave her packs and advice
She gobbled them up in a trice
Lots of water she did drink
She started to shrink
Now she's lost loads of weight
She feels really great and now she can see past her boobs to her feet!

Oh well poetry was never my strong point! I don't think I will give up my day job!