Thread: Exante: New Year's Eve... (Day 0/Post 0)

Yes, it's CalgonTablet and he's back with a brand new username. New username, new year, new attempt at Exante. I decided to 'start over' as I'm pretty sure my old account was closed-down after my "I f--k on the first date" comment appeared to have caused a little controversy earlier in the week. Honestly, it's tough competing with Frankie Boyle. I see the entire series of posts were deleted, in fact...

(All I was doing was dishing out a little advice to a poor female who'd been treated dreadfully by the male gender. And what thanks do I get for my 'Dear Deidre' moment?)

So, anyway, where did we leave off? Well, as some of you might recall, last year, around October time, I 'embarked' on Exante. I lost about 3 stones and everything was going fine until I got involved in a relationship with a stunningly beautiful girl called Elena. Things went slightly wrong diet-wise from that point onwards, although I should stress that it wasn't because I was waking up in the night in a sweat-induced frenzy due to severe cream cake withdrawal symptoms. In fact, after the first two days, I actually found Exante quite easy. Honestly. The only real 'side effect' I suffered was the dry mouth 'thing' and the odd upset tummy in week one.

I did find keeping it from colleagues a little bit difficult. See, I'm an English teacher and I work in a very female-dominated profession. Whilst this might typically be a 'good' thing, it well, actually isn't, as most of the staff are so old, they need ironing. Either way, I have no inclination whatsoever to discuss my dieting tactics with them for a whole range of reasons I won't go into here, so snipping those silver sachets in the corner of the room at lunchtime did make me feel a bit like a crack-addict preparing their next fix, and, once the potion had been prepared, I'd always have to make sure the sachet was stuffed firmly underneath all the damp paper towels and bits of paper that sat in the dustbin to the side of the kettle. Well, I couldn't have the nosey physics tutor coming along and saying: "Exantwhat? Whose is this then?"

Anyway, I started Exante at over 22 stones. Ridiculous, I know. People were beginning to stop me in the street and say: "I thought you'd died years ago...You are Bernard Manning aren't you?" I am now 20.7 stones and single again (Elena, it seems, clearly thought I hadn't progressed enough with Exante...). So, I'm back, and intend to stay celibate this time around. Yes, it's going to be hard.

And yes, I know I uttered similar sentiments back in October, but I swear it this time around. Ok? I might also add that 2011 is the 10th anniversary of my losing some 7 stones on the SlimFast plan, a diet I am still a big supporter of - Exante is less admin though, admittedly - and which I actually kept off for some three years or so. I also have a feeling that if I don't get this issue sorted in the coming months, I'll probably die of a heart attack before long anyway.

For those who wish to follow the fun, please do. I see quite a lot of you from Sep/Oct are still knocking about on here (one of you I SOOOOO fancy too - The girl who wears the black top in her picture - I look at her sometimes and say aloud to myself: "You are such a hot potato...I definitely would..."), so I hope we can all have some fun together in the coming months. I'll try and update every day, and let you know how I'm progressing because I know you're all really interested and totally bothered about how much weight I'm losing.

So, I'm sitting here typing this at twenty to eight on New Year's Eve. In the draw below my bed is a shed load of Exante sachets and some of those dodgy cereal bar thingies. Every weigh-in day will be Monday but I'll start two days early on this first week as it's new year's day tomorrow and I want to get this underway ASAP. I would love to reach my target weight of 12.13 by the early summer and I intend to get there. I want to make some big changes in my life this year, including finding 'the one.' Awwah.

(And by 'the one,' I mean the girl I intend to marry; not the ultimate chicken korma and rice recipe.)

I'm looking forward to the coming months people. Happy New Year to you all too. Especially the girl in the black. I'm off to drink my final drop of alcohol for the foreseeable five months. I'll add a photo when I can work out how to do it, by the way. Anyone want to help?

See you tomorrow.

Hello! Just wanted to wish you luck with your restart and wow to you too for losing 7 stone before now, that's amazing really. I lost 3 stone with cd before now but after trying to go back on it last oct and failing due to the price, having to visit a weird cdc bloke n travelling for the ehem 'pleasure' of it, i now find myself starting at exante. I've had my first mushie soup and it was, nicer than the cd one anyway..

Good luck! Speak soon!

Good Luck. I'm starting on Monday and intend to enjoy the New Year for a day or two yet...This seems to be quite a lively board, which is good.Hopefully there'll be lots of support around for all of us ...newbies or not so newbies x

hiya!! and good luck with your exante journey!! You have proved to yourself you can actually do it, you have done it before so you just need to get your head down and 12.5 stone will be gleaming before you on your scales like a...well you are the english teacher I'll leave the simile's to you ;-) Laura x

Welcome back Let's get this weight off! Good luck for 2011

Haha, you made me laugh tonight, and I think we're all checking to see if we were wearing black in our profile pic! All the best for 2011

Lol i was checking everyones threads to see too!!!

Lucy.

It is actually you. Seriously.

Upon closer inspection... Is it navy you're wearing?

Either way.... O.M.G.

GOOD LUCK on your new exante journey.

I thought the 'I f**k on the first date' comment was hilarious btw....it was my thread, I was the poor dumped woman *cries*

Anyway we're re-starting our 'diets' at the same time, I will make sure to post away on your thread to make sure you're being good!

Really though, good luck with exante and also good luck on finding a lovely gf

Happy new year x

Ooh Lucy takes the crown!!! Damn we all lived in hope ;-)

Legend... !
Good luck today, and to everyone starting/re-starting this week. I'll be back tomorrow, one more family feast to go...
Happy New Year!

Ok. Woke up an hour or so ago with a hangover. Predictably. Got out of bed, made a Strawberry flavoured Exante shake, drank it, didn't-enjoy-it-that-much and then got back into bed which is where I am now.

Here's an amazing fact I learnt yesterday. I am still in shock from it so go easy on me. I was watching one of those not-very-good satellite TV movie channels when I established this astonishing piece of information. Here it comes.

In 'Superman III,' near the very end, Richard Pryor and Christopher Reeve stop off for a moment to have a chat with some coal miners. The mine is supposed to be somewhere in America, but it's clearly England. Anyway - get this - one of the coal miners is Archie Mitchell from EastEnders, complete with a seriously dodgy American accent.


Can you believe this? Yes, THE Archie Mitchell. The one who was murdered in The Queen Vic. Yes, him.

Whilst I give you all time to get over this amazing piece of trivia, I'll just confirm that, yes, I'm otherwise Ok and I don't feel starving hungry yet but probably will by 6pm. And yes, I absolutley and totally fancy Lucy and want to know if she would potentially consider having an affair with me.

Lmao! Legend you are gonna get yourself banned again for your indecent proposals... I love reading your posts though, really funny and informative (re superman 3) I just had a strawberry shake too and didn't find it too bad at all. Quite palatable. Hope you recover from your hangover just gulp the water down and you will feel better, I promise ;-)

Good luck with your restart. Your thread has given me a chuckle this morning and I didn't want to read and run

Well look at her. She's goooorgeous.

I do recall, however, her telling a story on here once, some months ago, about some of the Exante 'side effects' she was enduring. They were the kinds of descriptions best left alone, I felt. Her revelations put me off her a little, I have to admit.

However, I'm willing to review the situation.