Quirkys Diary

[Quirkygirl]

Hi

i am starting my diary and hoping that its will help me stay focused and be something to reflect on when tempted or losing my battle.

i was always a chubby kid and never felt feminine at 5ft 9" since I was 13, I spent most of my teenage years going up on down between a 14-16 and on entering my twenties that became 14-18

i put 4 stone on in both my pregnancies and did manage to loses most of that, but it was when I stopped smoking about 6 years ago that I think things became bad. I was 15.9 at my heaviest but became ill with gallstones and lost 3 of that. I felt like fraud. People were saying well done etc and giving my compliments, but I knew deep down I'd made no real effort it was the gallstones.

In the last 2 years. I have lost 2 stone each spring and spent the remainder of the year putting it all back on. I am always outgoing and seen as the funny one etc. but after being made redundant at Xmas my confidence crashed and I started having panic attacks and became really down. I was very reluctant to go to the doctors( having never gone through this before)but I did started taking sertraline and began counselling. This was a real turning point for me as the counsellor identified many issues i have...daughter with needs, losing my dad etc and we discussed how I comfort ate and drank. So I am empowering myself and taking the fatty in me on in a battle. I want to say that I'm sad instead of eat when I'm sad and rebuild myself.

I'm am surprised I've been so frank on here....I guess it's the sort of anonymity that frees me. I couldn't tell my friends most of what I have just fessed up on here.

I am looking forward to my future and hope to lose another 3lb tomorrow. Fingers crossed.

 

[jael001]

Well done for being so up front about everything, the honesty will help you so much. I find that a lot of the things I've admitted to on here, I can't say to friends and family. In fact almost no-one even knows I'm doing this diet because I dont want the negativity that comes with doing a diet like this. Hopefully the counselling will help a lot, talking things through with someone is fantastic. I had a year of therapy over the time I was doing LL and it (and anti depressents) really helped turn my life around, stop seeing myself as a victim of the things that had happened in my life and allowed me to take control of my future and to stop letting every little thing get to me the way I would in the past and allowed me to be a better mother and a better friend.

But as for comfort eating and drinking, I think we all do that, that's why we're here, it's a universal thing and it's hard to overcome something we may have done all our lives. I'm still guilty of it, I eat when I'm happy, I eat when I'm sad, I eat when I'm bored, I eat when I'm excited, it really doesn't take much for me to turn to the fridge, but hopefully once I've lost this weight I can find other things to comfort me that aren't food-based. And doing this diet is a great way of letting go of our issues with food, because food is out of the equation. We dont have to check calories or measure or count points, we just have the packs and that's it, we can get on with the important stuff, living!

 

[Quirkygirl]

Thanks Jeal for sharing.... Your so right. I'd always scoffed at counselling but its been brill. Look like a tomato when I come out mind. Not a good look. Lots of reflecting about how I react(or over react) to situations.

Ive been back into my old place of work this week and there is the possibility of job back in September as new funding secured. Woohoo also been enrolled on a college course as completely pants at ICT, my 9 and 11 year old can wipe floor with me. I also met with friends yesterday night, as had been hiding through jan/feb and has a really good laugh. So all in all really looking up.

 

[jael001]

That's great, you're getting out there and doing something, whether it's seeing friends or brushing up on your IT skills, it's all good positive stuff. I made the decision at the end of last year to stop making excuses when people invite me out. I have very few friends where I live, no-one I see, so most of my weekends when my daughter's with her dad are spent alone at home. But I have friends all over the country so when a friend in Oxford said "come and see us", I got in my car and went and had a great day. And another friend said "lets meet up in Birmingham" and I did it, instead of spending yet another weekend at home feeling sorry for myself. It's making the decision to just go for it that can make all the difference, it can be so easy to hide at home and not face the world when you're feeling down.

 

[ED.]

Hey Hun

Good luck for WI tomorrow I hope you get your 3lb! Look forward to following your journey xx

 

[Quirkygirl]

Thankyou exante dreamer. I will update tomorrow.x

 

[harry m]

Good luck hun for tomorrow. Hope you get good whooosh.

 

[Quirkygirl]

Thanks Harry.x

 

[jael001]

My weigh-in day is tomorrow too, so good luck hon. I'm a daily weigher so I know how I'm doing (not nearly as much as I'd have liked on my first week) but it will be nice to see what the week's total will be.

 

[Quirkygirl]

Remember the picture!!!!Looking for 3lbs so what that.......a fresh chicken.

good luck.xx

 

[Quirkygirl]

Well weigh in day and 4lbs off. I'm really pleased. It's such a huge boost to my confidence and nearer and nearer to the 12's. I working on 1/2 stone losses at a time to keep positive and keep my ever wandering focus. On the 2 occasions this week that my hunger has been too much I put wafer thin chicken in my carbonara. So only working solution on those days and still lost. Meres sensible words kept me track. Housework done so pedicure and eyebrow plucking for me. It's the little things after all.

ps bought some sexy shoes for going out in:giggle:can't wait to buy the ret of the outfit.

hows everyone doing?

 

[harry m]

Yaaaay well done hun. Thats good loss

 

[jael001]

That's great, well done. I hope to lose the same as you next week so that I'll have lost 10lbs in 2 weeks too

 

[Quirkygirl]

Thanks jaeland Harry.xx

i hope you do too Jeal

Just had a call re a job..... interview Monday....gulp!

 

[jael001]

oooh good luck for Monday then, is it something you particularly want?

 

[harry m]

GOOD LUCK HUN, i know you will pass.

 

[Lisaberry]

Well done on your weight loss and well done on your interview! I'm looking forward to reading your diary to see how you are getting on xx

 

[ED.]

Awesome result well done Hun!! Bet you feel great

best of luck for your interview Monday too xx

 

[Quirkygirl]

Thanks so much everyone. You are very kind.

i am a special needs teaching assistant, and i love my job. the group of kids i supported left left the schhol last august. the school paid me the autumn term til xmas our of their own budget(SEN is funded by local authority) whilst they apllied for funding to support several others. all the applications were denied, due to funding issues. I was gutted and so were the school.

The interview on Monday is to do support work with adults.

I am really missing working and the extra money would be most welcome.

its nearly lunch time.....bonus!

 

[ED.]

Fingers crossed for you, I'm sure you will do well What a great week that will be for you! xx