Total Solution Alia's Fight the Fat Journey
I've decided to to this diary as a help to my self and others. Having been a serial dieter all my life yet still being able to manage everything I wanted to do kind of gave me a false belief that my problem was not so huge. Now how ever at 31st 11lb and with severe mobility issues and constant pain it's now or never.
I've just come back from two weeks in Turkey and thats when I realised how bad things had become. The flight was horrendous although it could have been worse as I had my 5 year old son sat next to me and I was able to 'spill' over into his seat but leg room was non existent and I was in agony. Getting into the villa its self was a nightmare as there were 26 steps to go up to get in to it and as pathetic as this sounds I felt like I needed an oxygen tank by the time I got to the top.
I was so limited to what I could do, walking was awful and often I left my hubby and the kids and his mum to go do things while I sat in various places waiting. It was during one of these times I realised if I continue the way I'm heading to be bed ridden and or a very early grave. My 19 year old daughter came with us to Turkey and she has major weight issues too so it was decided something serious had to be done and we ordered our packs while we were still in Turkey.
I meant to do this from the beginning so I'm going to do a rough diary for the first 5 days to get up to date and make daily entries from now on.
Food Packs did n't arrive till around 2.45 so spent the morning cleaning and drinking water. They arrived just as I was heading out for the school run so left the box unopened till I got home so it was about 4pm before I had a shake. Went for strawberry and it was ok, did not taste bad at all and I realised by 5pm I've found some will power that I never realised I had. I bought a months supply of Exante some time last year and shamefully did not make it past day 1. It feels different this time, I know I have no choice if I want to live long enough to enjoy my grandchildren when they arrive in the future. Hubby came home from work and decided at nearly 20 stones that he was going to do it too so ordered him a months supply too.
The rest of the day was surprisingly easy although I'm sure it will get worse before it gets better. Managed to drink loads of water before I slept which I'm sure helped too.
Did not feel so good today. Kept myself busy so I was not constantly thinking about food and filled myself up on water. Hubby took his two packs to work as he started today too and he seemed fine on his first day. Even though I felt rubbish, it was not the kind of rubbish that tempted me to eat as I am so focused and 'in the zone', long may that continue! Felt so tired by the evening that I had an early night after my last shake hoping tomorrow would be better.
I have settled into a routine with my shakes and having them at 12pm 5pm and 9pm. Evenings are my danger zone as I used to get to bed with hubby once the kids were asleep and get out loads and I mean loads of goodies to snack on. It was everything, crisps, chocolate, cake sweets etc so no wonder the weight has piled on. By keeping busy in the mornings I'm able to not think about food and come 12pm I was more than ready for my first shake of the day. I cant actually believe I have made it this far and a cheeky peep on the scales showed this is so well worth it. I also discovered I had a tub of bouillon in the kitchen cupboard so made a mug of that between my second and third shake and it was yummy, think it may be my saviour. People always ask about targets, I am not having any numbers for a target more things that I am able to do. Firstly I'm looking forward to getting up from a chair with out so much effort and sometimes needing a hand to manage it. I have many targets for in the future but I will set those for myself at realistic times.
When I look back over the years I realise there are so many occurrences that should have made me really want to seriously attack my weight. I've done so many things half heartedley over the years. I've even had 2 weightloss surgeries and here I am 4 years after the last surgery, heavier than when I had my gastric by pass. It was never the right thing for me but having said that it was also a corrective surgery from the mess that had been left behind from my first surgery in 1999. Very briefly to explain. I had that surgery when these kind of operations were just starting to become available and although I lost a good few stones immediately afterwards it did not take long till old habits started to set in. Probably a year after my surgery I noticed I was having issues with solid foods but was able to manage all the good liquedy type stuff. If I ate any thing solid like chicken or meats or pasta ect I would be very ill for days after. I would have awful stomache pains and very bad acid attackks which would end up me vomitting back acid stuff for days afterwards. The result of that was that I stayed away from things that made me ill and lived on liquid stuff for the next 8 years. Finally I plucked up the corage to see my GP who referred me to a surgeon here in Leeds who operated to find out what the problem was and essentially there was a band that should have been at the top of my stomache limiting food that could go in but this band had slipped down to the bottom of my stomache stopping solid foods going out. Corrective surgery was done which basically gave me a gastric bypass. It has not worked - clearly orI would not be here now. I still have my food phobias, remembering the pain and discomfort for all those years means I still have serious problems. Hence why I think Exante will be good for me as it will remove all food and I wont be able to make bad choices.
suprisingly I've managed to get through day 4 with out too many problems. I did something today that I have not done in years - I went swimming. It was very hard for me to actually decide to go but it was a women only night and I know it will help me with some gentle excercise. I was starving after coming out the pool at 10.30 but I was so glad I had saved my last shake till after the swim. Hubby kindly announced that his dad and friend would be coming to stay tomorrow for the night which mean cooking and having food around. Not sure how I will manage that.
and feeling crap! Did not have my first shake till nearly 2pm and boy did I feel it. Had a boullion drink in the morning then had loads of things I needed to do with hubby and by the time we were done it was 2pm and my father in law had arrived with the friend in tow - feeling so crap I was more than happy they decided to take my 2 year old of out with them I could rest and doze as I was feeling awful. The smell of chicken frying knowing there would be such nice things to eat downstairs was agony so I stayed upstairs out of the way cause wanted to resist temptation.
Had my second shake around 7pm and made it with ice, loads of it and blitzed it with the hand blender to make a thick ice could shake and it was deliscous. Hoping tomorrow I will be feeling better. Oh and felt a little smug that hubby caved in and ate with his dad but I had resisted, think a war of weightloss is going to start in our house.
Here I am on day 6 and feeling so hungry today. I tried a porridge pack for my 12 o'clock meal and added cinnamon to it and despite it being very runny it tasted fantastic, deffinately going to have one of those every day. Took the little kids to the park and was practically drooling over their ice creams. I've been fantasising about having a bar for the past two days so for my second meal I had the orange bar and so wish I had not! I don't know what I had imagined it would taste of but it was like munching on cardboard and made my tongue sore - shame I have heaps of them to get through, wish i had had my shake instead.
I'm using bullion as my saviour, at the most I am having 3 a day which is probably one more than advised but I figure if that extra one keeps me on the straight and narrow its better having my 17 Calorie drink than hitting out on a costa latte or a dairy milk chocolate bar.
hi Alia. I so relate to what you said about your trip to Turkey. I went to Paris with my parents in Feb for a couple of nights and I struggled so much with the walking and getting up and down the steps of the Metro stations. The trip was my 40th birthday present from last year, it was the first chance we'd had to go, but honestly I felt ancient, and the first day I had to go and lie down before dinner because I thought I might collapse from the walking. Bearing in mind we'd not gotten there til lunchtime that was ridiculous. All that huffing and puffing made my mind up for me, I couldn't carry on like that.
Good luck hon, you sound very determined and hopefully this diet will be the answer you've been looking for with weight loss.
Likes to post
- Rep Power
Diet: Calorie Counting
Start Date: 5th Jan 2015
Start Weight: 20st9lb
Current Weight: 19st7lb
Goal Weight: 11st0lb
Goal Date: January 2016 or ASAP!
Start BMI: 46.6
Current BMI: 44.1
Goal BMI: 24.9
Total Weight Loss: 1st2lb
Weight to Lose: 8st7lb
% Lost 5.54%
Total Solution Alia's Fight the Fat Journey
Just checked to see if you had a diary and wow! You seem to have gotten right in to the swing of it really well it's hard getting your head around not eating "food" and just having enough to get you by. Huge shock to the system. But well done for getting through the first week, I know you'll do well as you seem to have the right attitude with it
I can relate too with your time in Turkey, last time I went away it was to Atlanta and the flight was painful, seats digging into me and embarrassment of the belt only just fitting then all the walking, was so glad we didn't have lots of steps to go up and down each day, think I'd have passed out!
Do you feel as hungry as before you started, or do you think it could be more habitual/boredom? I know if I'm bored the first thing I'd do is ratch in the cupboards, but since taking up nail art as a bit of a hobby it's kept that under control xx
Originally Posted by jael001
It was awful hun, I'm at my biggest ever and I found myself panicking about all kinds of things, looking at chairs in a restaurant, those plastic white garden type chairs were enough to make me feel so anxious. Can you believe this- 2 years ago we went to the same villa, it belongs to my hubby's boss. One night I was asleep and hubby must have got up for the loo cause I woke up to the bed collapsing as he sat on it - probably the combined weight was more than enough. I was mortified to say the least especially when we had to get the maintenance guy to fix it. This time I refused to even sit on the bed and spent the full 2 weeks sleeping on the sofa on the second floor terrace. BTW the seat belt on the plane goes no where near me and Im way too embarrassed to ask for the extension so when they were doing the final checks I put a blanket over my legs and looked out the window doing my best not to get eye contact so they would walk straight past. My husband god bless him is an amazing man and the first time we flew together was around 5 years ago and lets just say he has no embarrassment about anything and loves every single inch of me. On the flight he saw me struggling with the seatbelt and he stood up and shouted to the attendant half way down the aisle that we needed a seatbelt extension. Think to this day he does not understand why I just wanted to crawl off the flight and die - I've promised myself i will not fly again till I'm a lot smaller as there is no way I am going through that again.
I've always been an all or nothing girl which has often been my downfall with diets as In the past I've attacked things head on leaving myself no margin for error and once I had a bad day it would become a bad week then I'd go off plan totally. With this I can have that option of making bad choices and taking that away from me might be the thing I need to be successful on this last ever journey.
Originally Posted by ali28
Today I've felt hungry, tummy grumbled a lot but I think a lot of it is down to bad habits - I never ate meals,as such, each day was one long meal so I never ever had the chance to feel hungry so its just something I need to get used to and think it will die down as the days go by.
Just got my last shake of the day to have and sleep. First official weigh in tomorrow, first time I have ever been truly excited about standing on the scales!
I can relate to looking anxiously at chairs too. On New Years Eve I went to my brother and sister in law. They're in rented accommodation as they've been living in South America for a few years and his contract has ended so he's back here until he knows if he'll be moved somewhere else or staying. Anyway, the furnished flat they're in has these trendy clear acrylic seats around the dining table with spindly metal legs. I sat down VERY gingerly and almost got myself wedged in there, plus it made a disturbing creaking noise I spent the meal kind of hovering over the seat rather than putting my weight down on it, I was convinced it wasn't going to hold me.
Good luck Alia
A little in house weight loss rivalry is a good thing if it keeps you on track
Good luck for WI
Originally Posted by jael001
May you never have to feel like that again! Viva Exante!
Amen to that, seems quite a few of us all started around the same time so will be good to be able to support those that stated together x
Originally Posted by notsoskinnymarge
Oh my god! First weigh in on Exante and i'm 14lb down, I'm so proud of myself, this is the first time ever in my life that I have stuck to anything 100%.
Wow well done Alia, that's a fantastic result, you got that first stone DONE! Keep going, you're going to do so great.
Good morning Alia - 14 lbs is amazing! Well done!! You seem very focused and determined and I believe you will have great success on Exante!
I can also relate to the chair thing! Everywhere I go, I am terrified of having to sit down in a chair. I put off the dentist for 2 years in fear that I wouldn't fit in the dentist chair or even worse break the mechanics in it! Wherever possible I either stand or sit on the floor and when people offer me a chair it's so embarrassing to have to tell them the reason why I don't want to sit on it.
Here's to a great second week!! x
SEO by vBSEO 3.6.0 ©2011, Crawlability, Inc.