Loved ones and weight loss/gain

[Loser85]

I'm due to go visit my family in England over xmas and obviously i'm looking forward to it but i've gained 5stone since last xmas and my mum is very critical of my weight issues. She told me the last time i saw her that i'd never reach my goal weight. Also every oppurtunity she gets she tells me i cant gain anymore etc etc.

I'm trying like the clappers to get back on track with WW but havnt had much luck. I know i'm going to get an 'i told you so' type conversation with her but how can i tell her to mind her own business in a polite way? I understand she might be worried over my weight but she has an awful way of showing it when my confidence is already rock bottom.

Families - who'd 'ave em!

 

[Fay737731]

I'm due to go visit my family in England over xmas and obviously i'm looking forward to it but i've gained 5stone since last xmas and my mum is very critical of my weight issues. She told me the last time i saw her that i'd never reach my goal weight. Also every oppurtunity she gets she tells me i cant gain anymore etc etc.

I'm trying like the clappers to get back on track with WW but havnt had much luck. I know i'm going to get an 'i told you so' type conversation with her but how can i tell her to mind her own business in a polite way? I understand she might be worried over my weight but she has an awful way of showing it when my confidence is already rock bottom.

Families - who'd 'ave em!

I have tried so many diets and never stuck to them, what other ones have you tried? I have found that finding the right diet is tough, maybe you haven't found it yet?? There is no one size fits all. If the diet feels like it's a prison then it's not the right one for you as it means you will either struggle to stay on it or go straight back to how you were before the diet if you manage to get to or near your goal.

My parents are the same. Last year my mum made a sweeping comment about how I "wouldn't fit in the back seat, you will have to sit in the front" and that really upset me. My dad is very tactful in what he says but never passes up the oppertunity to have a "chat" with me about his big worry in life: my health! It's something they have both done for as long as I can remember and while I know deep down that what they are saying is right but there was nothing that would push me to kick things into gear. Even three months before my wedding I was thinking "there is still time" but there wasn't and I didnt even try (for more than maybe 2-3 weeks).

To be honest I don't really know what the trigger was that made me accept that something needed to change...I think it was partially that I had spent lots of money buying nice honeymoon clothes and then 3 months later was facing having to buy a bigger size. I do know that whatever my family would say hurt but didn't push me in terms of motivation. For me I found that the diet I picked had very rapid results and then works slowly up. I have always found in the past that something that takes time to show results meant I got annoyed, grumpy, frustrated etc. in the mean time. You need to find something you feel you can stick to for a month, get some good results and then reassess...

What are your motivations? How do you feel when on the diet? What was your trigger?

I'm sure you already know that your family isn't going to change, and for as long as you are struggling you might not change either. There are a lot of people on here who can offer support on that front...

 

[MsJMC]

My mums , sadly no longer with us now , but she was the same , she'd say , come on, as if to say your letting yourself go . since mum passed in 09 I have gone from 185 to 236 ... my mum now if she could see me would be telling me off , but partly it was her passing that made me turn too food .
My daughter whos 10 now , is gaining ... and I tell her, she got on the scales last night at 125 , I have said we need to move more eat less ....
I just think we can see what its doing to the person , giving them health problems and to be honest it really is hard finding clothes , and all that's on ours minds too is our weight , to sort it out .
yes its getting the right diet for you . I find vlcd the only way now . I'll be seeing GP Tuesday and asking for her to sign my form as bmi too high to start .
Which plan would you like to start ?

 

[turquatic]

I have a very critical aunt who has always enjoyed nothing more than using my weight as topic of conversation at any family gathering. It hurts
I usually act very unaffected by her comments and try to move the conversation onto something else. Like her smoking. And I have even been known to advise her on Botox because she's looking quite older than her age, these days.
The classic "I wish I could be perfect like you" has been used a couple of times too. Then, once I get home, I tend to cry into my pillow! :sigh:

I wish judgemental people could be fat for a month to understand how it feels being on the receiving end of their nasty comments, even if they do try to sound caring, I have always taken it the other way.

Try to be strong, not let your Mum get to you, and if she does - hold back the emotions until you're alone, at least.

I tried WW years ago and I was forever hungry. Maybe Fay is right and you haven't found the right diet yet. Have you tried any others?