I find my behaviour really confusing. I start a diet (usually Atkins as it's the only one I've ever had any success on) and stick to it really well. I get into the swing of it and by day ten or so the habit has really kicked in and I don't give it too much thought. I find my energy levels increasing, I start to fit back into clothes and other people start noticing and might give me the odd compliment. And then, not long after those compliments I stop. I binge on carbs and begin my well recognised 'I'll start tomorrow' approach, which has been going on since March for me at the moment, with me currently able to fit into approximately only 25% of my clothes
I'm familiar with the concept of yo yo dieting, but it seems strange to me that it's not through hopelessness and deprivation that I give up, but just when I'm starting to see results and feel good about myself. It almost feels like a conscious decision to self-sabotage.
Trying to figure out what's behind it.
1) am I scared of achieving my goal- perhaps it won't feel good when I get there so I'd rather keep chasing it?
2) when I get down to a comfortable level do I rationalise and think- I'm ok here, there's more important things in life than constantly controlling what I eat/weigh?
3) I really enjoy eating when I feel good about myself. There feels so much less angst guilt- so in that (short) window when I'm feeling more attractive and before I start piling on the pounds, I really really enjoy the food I'm eating.
4) do I think "I'll never make my goal anyway-why bother?"
I am so aware of my pattern, and that in the long run it reduces my self-esteem, yet I don't feel able to break it- or rather, I haven't changed it yet.
Anyone else so frustrated with their own behaviour?