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Thread: Feeling Low

  1. #1
    Regular Member

    Join Date
    19th March, 2014
    Rep Power
    Diet: Cambridge
    Height: 5ft10in
    Start Date: 14/05/2014
    Start Weight: 14st7lb
    Current Weight: 14st7lb
    Goal Weight: 12st7lb
    Goal Date: 14th July 2014

    BMI Information:
    Start BMI: 29.1
    Current BMI: 29.1
    Goal BMI: 25.1

    Weight to Lose: 2st0lb
    % Lost 0%

    Feeling Low


    I'm sorry for such a negative post. And nothing anybody can say can make me feel better.. I think I just need to get out how I'm feeling.

    I need to cry I think. A really big cry. I got to a size 14 a few years ago and was unhappy so I did Cambridge and lost a lot of weight and everything was all good... now I've put it all back on and more. I'm now an 18/20. I THINK I weigh more than 15 stone but I've no idea because I think if I get on the scale I will feel much more depressed.

    I know I am bigger as I have seen recent photos and my clothes no longer fit.

    I have a holiday booked for 3rd November.. so I do have time to lose a stone or so if I redo the very low calorie diet again. I've used slim and save before, and I have some left over cambridge products.

    I guess I just feel vile. I'm visiting my family this weekend and I feel every time I see them, they get more disgusted with me. I don't see them often so every time I go I can tell their shock at my size.

    I'm also really conscious in front of my partner. I cover myself up all the time and I just don't feel like getting close to him anymore. He must be disgusted with me too... It's horrible that feeling isn't it? I feel so conscious eating in front of people because I think they must think "how greedy is she".

    I'm a bit of a secret eater.. I don't think people understand HOW i've put the weight on because they never see me eat loads. But I eat food when they aren't around. It's an emotional thing I think.

    So I'm desperately starting the Very Low Calorie Diet again on Sunday. I'm visiting my family this weekend so I will just eat "healthy" and cut down the carbs so that it isn't a big shock to my system again on Monday... I'm so SCARED that I'm not going to do it. It's scary being this unhealthy and ugly isn't it?

    I do feel ugly. Which is awful. Someone posted a photo of me today and I wanted to vomit... When I think I lost all that weight and did this to myself?

    I suppose this is a bit of a desperate post.. I do feel better to see it on paper. I never realised how depressed I was about it until I was kept awake all last night so upset after seeing my reflection (which I avoid like the plague!). I dont want to weigh myself for a week or so. i know I won't see a loss but I really can't face it right now. x

    **Loose a stone**
    **Work Uniform doesn't leave marks on my stomach**
    *Loose 2 stone**

    Fit into my dress from 2009
    **LOSE 3 STONE**

  2. #2

    Join Date
    25th February, 2014
    Rep Power
    I don't think there anything I can say to really help but just want to send virtual hugs? Hope you find something that works for you in the long term, x

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