Piglet

I don't know if anyone else has this problem, I'm kinda hopping someone does so they can give me their thoughts..... I hate my body so much at the mo that I cant even look in the mirror let alone contemplate letting my DH look at it or touch it! It doesn't help or relationship much with me hating myself so much, I rush around getting dressed or undressed before I'm spotted. I never used to be like this, I used to be the biggest flirt going, but that feels like a lifetime ago. I really wish I could bring myself to like me

Piglet

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Christmas Ski-ing holiday target



Overall target

SO MUCH TO LOSE!

oh hun,
i really feel your pain as i too have been like that too.(and still am just not as much)
at my heaviest i was 19st 4lb and looked and felt like a whale.i too would run and hide when changing so as not to be spotted and when we did make love it was awful for me as i could feel everything wobbling and just wished it was over as he must think im as disgusting as i feel,but he never did hun,he says he loved me just the way i am but was just worried for my health and has been so supportive to me throughout my journey.
as the lbs fall awaay you will gradually rebuild your confidence and feel so much sexier,you have already taken the first step by doing something about it and well done on the 6lbs loss.
why dont you start pampering yourself every week/forthnight as a treat for losing weight and will really will feel a difference as i found with me i stopped looking after my appereance the bigger i got and that doesent help the situation at all,
i hope you feel better about yourself very soon and let us know how your getting on,
not sure if ive been much help,but just wanted to et you know your not alone
elaine x

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week 1--7lbs
week 2--2lbs
week3--6lbs
week 4--6lbs
week5--4lbs
week 6--2lbs
week 7&8--11lbs
week 9--2lb
week 10--7lb
week 11--+1lb
week 12&1/2--8lb
"nothing tastes better than being slim feels"
Had a break,put up 1st 8lbs(total blowout)
Restart 29th sept
week 1-15lbs
week 2-5lbs

Piglet

Hiya Elaine
Actually you have been a huge help, I'm crying now only because this bit
is exactly the same for me. I just cant imagine why he would want to make love to me when I'm soooo disgusting to look at I just really really want to feel nice.

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Christmas Ski-ing holiday target



Overall target

KD

So sorry you feel like this, but try to remember that it's in your head. Bet your DH thinks you are sexy

Ya know. My mum was one of the sexiest ladies around (so I'm told). She had the handsomest men flocking after her all the time.

She was 23 stone.

Being sexy isn't anything to do with your weight.

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SO MUCH TO LOSE!

oh sweetheart please try not to be upset ,
you have taken the biggest step by starting to lose weight.is your dh supportive as i feel this makes all the difference in the world.
the thoughts we have about ourselves are not what our oh/dh think of us.they are not with us because they have to be,they are with us because they love us.when i finally got round to telling my oh how i felt when we made love he said to me when we make love i dont see the fat i just see the person that i fell in love with.
what plan are you following and are you finding it easy to do?stick pictures of yourself around the house to motivate yourself and Do treat yourself,it really does help.
please feel free to pm me whenever you feel the need to,im always on here in the evening time mostly,just send a message back to let me know your ok,
elaine x

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week 1--7lbs
week 2--2lbs
week3--6lbs
week 4--6lbs
week5--4lbs
week 6--2lbs
week 7&8--11lbs
week 9--2lb
week 10--7lb
week 11--+1lb
week 12&1/2--8lb
"nothing tastes better than being slim feels"
Had a break,put up 1st 8lbs(total blowout)
Restart 29th sept
week 1-15lbs
week 2-5lbs

needtofeelnormal

Hi piglet,

I can relate to this too, i have never let a man see me naked, it would be mortifying to let someone see all the stretch marks and bulges.

I have gone through relationship after relationship, compromising on "him" thinking i could do no better (and i mean a compromise - criminal records, alcoholics etc). I have never had a "good" relationship and im 30yrs old. It terrifies me that i am going to die an old lonely spinster and never have any kids.

my last relationship ended about 2 months ago, but this one was different, i did feel sexy by the way he would react to me, he didnt seem to mind at all that i was big, but i still cant help but feel if i had a nice body the sex would have been even more amazing than it already was. I would only have sex in the dark and used to freeze if the light was on or it was even morning.... its taunting!

I still blame my size for being single, i get comments all the time on how pretty my face is and i honestly believe i am single because of my size ..... hence why i am on the CD to try and do something about it, although i dont think i will ever feel confident enough to let a man see me naked as my skin will always be saggy and a mess.

The point i am trying to make is that some men do like big women, and your OH obviously loves you no matter what. Would you be put off him if he put a bit of weight on? were you overweight when you met him?

I was sitting in a coffee shop last weekend drinking my black coffee watching the world go by... i like to people watch and it suddenly dawned on me that probably 70% of the women that walked past the window i was gazing out of were overweight (i class overweight as a size 16+) ... it was amazing, sometimes you get so self obsessed with how you look that you dont notice the amount of people around you that are in the same boat, and if they are also obsessing about theirselves then they wont be taking any notice of us..... i know ive yet agan gone off the point a bit there, but an important point i feel.

Just hang in there hun, the more weight we lose the better it will get, its us who have the complex and feelings of disgust when we look at ourselves.... not our OH's (wey if i had one )

treat yourself to some new clothes, underwear, haircut, what ever makes you feel better and try to focus on the beautiful things about yourself, because you will have many i promise you!!! and that is what your OH will see.... not the imperfections! and just remember.... if your man is turned on enough to make love, then thats YOU making him turned on... hence he is attracted to you.

xx

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Start weight 19st 0lbs 17/09/08

Week 1 - 18st 4lbs (-10lbs)
Week 2 - 18st 0lbs (-4lbs)
Week 3 - 17st 11lbs (-3lbs)
Week 4 - 17st 5lbs (-6lbs)
Week 5 - 17st 0lbs (-5lbs) 2 stone gone...
Week 6 - 16st 12lbs (-2lbs)
Week 7 - 16st 5lbs (-7lbs)
Week 8 - 16st 1lb (-4lbs)






Target for holiday!!
Week 6 - (-6lbs)
Week 5 - (-2lbs)
Week 4 - (-7lbs)
Week 3 - (-4lbs)
Week 2
Week 1 - jetting off....

Piglet

Thanks KD that made me smile, and I know you're right its not all about how you look. But.... I just cant get away from that feeling of self loathing.

Hiya Elaine, I don't think I'm allowed to PM yet. It all came to a head this afternoon. My DH works from home and he was in the mood.... I was thinking of all the excuses I could to escape.... even hovering!! We did talk about it, he was feeling I don't want him anymore but thats so far from the truth and I tried to explained that I hate me, I just don't feel very attractive or sexy and feel that he cant possibly want me. But like you said he said he just sees the person that he loves. Px

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Christmas Ski-ing holiday target



Overall target

SO MUCH TO LOSE!

ye know,
i think we should give our men a little more credit, as they tell us how they feel. we just dont want to take it in ,but your right it sooo hard when all we see is the fat,but thats just one bit of us.
we are the person he turns to in his time of need,the mother to his children,the person who makes him laugh when hes down and the person who loves him unconditionally so why would we think that this is any different for us?
just have a little faith in yourself hun and i promise that when the lbs fall away you will feel like a new woman,you have taken control and thats a huge step,im telling you you will on here in another few weeks time and you`ll be telling a different story,confidence thats the name of the game,
you never said what diet you were on and how your finding it?
elaine x

__________________
week 1--7lbs
week 2--2lbs
week3--6lbs
week 4--6lbs
week5--4lbs
week 6--2lbs
week 7&8--11lbs
week 9--2lb
week 10--7lb
week 11--+1lb
week 12&1/2--8lb
"nothing tastes better than being slim feels"
Had a break,put up 1st 8lbs(total blowout)
Restart 29th sept
week 1-15lbs
week 2-5lbs

Piglet

Hiya Needtofeelnormal Firstly
I can totally relate to what you're saying. But if there is someone out there for me then there is DEFINITELY someone out there for you!! When I was little I had a problem with a family member, infact I had a problem with another family member later as well and I pray to God with all my heart that he punishes them because they are the reason I am the person that I dislike so much now. I know it sounds totally crazy but I wanted to be fat so no one would ever look at me again. I wanted to disappear and hide from everyone. I didn't want to be seen. Now I'm 40. Now I want to be looked at and feel desired. And now I've forgotten what I was going to say because a small person that should be asleep is coming down the stairs! Px

PS I'm doing SWorld which is totally fantastic, soooo much better than counting points and best is I can eat when I'm hungry!

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Christmas Ski-ing holiday target



Overall target

Janey2004

Hi Piglet, Can totally relate to what you are saying. I ended up hating myself and body so much that I stopped wearing makeup, doing my nails, you know stuff like that. But I'm trying to combine losing weight with pampering and looking after myself. Loads of long baths, nice body cream and smellies. I also bought some nice undies, there are some good sites online for the big girl. I know they prob wont fit me soon(heres hoping!!!) but they fit properly and kinda make me feel a wee bit better about getting this bod out in front of hubby. Dunno it kinda works for me.
Janey xx

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"Why stay in darkness when you can light a candle"

Goals
1. 10th April Weekend in Newcastle, want to be 15st

charliegirl

I too can relate to this, I am single and whilst I know a man is not the be all and end all in life I would like a man friend...I would not inflict my rolls of fat on anyone though and when I tried telling the consultant how I felt he said I had low self esteem and he did not think surgery would help me and wanted a second opinion. I tried to explain that the inside of me does not match the outside. I used to flirt and laugh and be confident but I dont do it now in case they think "theres a fat desperate woman". I also have stopped making as much effort on how I look probably to stop drawing attention to myself. I long for the thinner more confident person inside to get out and one day she will for all of us...xx

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Isis

I sooo needed to read something like this at the moment!! Thank you KD ..xxx

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"Say what you mean. Mean what you say, but don't be mean when you say it"

Power Phrases

Piglet

Hi Guys
I always think that everyone else around me is so confident but in reality inside lots of us seem to feel the same. In a way this makes me feel I'm not alone.