I just hit a brick wall!!

And the feeling is terrible.
I know only too well that depression can creep up on you at the most unexpected time and this is one of those times. And then I get so I don't trust anyone, I wonder why people are writing to me and then why more people don't respond to my posts. I write some hopefully helpful comments on other peoples diaries etc., and then feel I am ignored or even that person doesn't even come back to that thread, - so what's the point? I ask myself. And why bother? Perhaps I'm too old and decrepid, at least I know it's not because I am too fat! Perhaps I come over too much like that old granny 'cos I know that's what I am!

I went on a binge last night and today and as I am so deflated and dissapointed I just want to curl up and cry but I'm even past that. It's this time of year perhaps, or the fact that snow is on the way back apparently which will mean I shall be on my own for xmas. Everyone in this block of flats go off to family or friends and the place is deathly quiet 24/7. Have to stop posting on here now till I feel better as otherwise I start putting down things that are not very good to write.

Life sucks like that. But remember to take it one day at a time. What happened, happened. Let it go and start all over. For christmas, try to keep yourself very busy so nothing negative will come to your mind that will make you want to eat.

I come on this website using my phone, so it doesn't tell me anyones stats or age. Some people just don't know how to reply to others.

I hope it gets better for you soon, love.

I know the feeling of depression all too well, just remember it's important to keep your chin up and carry on. It's just another day and tomorrow you might feel better!
If you are by yourself over christmas why not treat yourself to some pampering? Have a nice bubble bath, do your hair/nails whatever you feel like
We may just be an online community, but we all care about each other and that includes you!

Take care of yourself, especially if you get snow.

xXx

After my inane rambling I had quite a few days where I mostly slept and slept so I was oblivious to the pain in my back and was able to eventually get a more balanced view on life.
I had to postpone my visit to my daughter in Ireland due to the weather but will be going on the 26th Jan instead - hopefully!
Thankyou for bothering to post your comments, elb and elm, it meant a lot to me...:wavey:

Hi, just read your post sorry to hear how ur feeling. I've had a ongoing on/off battle with depression and am on meds for anxiety
You will have good days but some very dark days when u want to shut the world out but it is important to remember it won't last long and do things to keep you occupied
Take care x

kellyscottish78 said:

You will have good days but some very dark days when u want to shut the world out but it is important to remember it won't last long and do things to keep you occupied
Take care x

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Thankyou for your post.
Yes I am aware of that having been a depressive for many a year since I was very young. I eventually had counselling when I was in my 60's and now at the age of 76 have been able to "control" it somewhat but unfortunately it can rear up when you are least expecting it. With me it is a combination of suffering with my back pain which in itself is made worse with stress, plus the anxiety of travel, again made worse with the weather complications. I don't take any meds for it as I prefer not to feel like a zombie two thirds of the day and living on my own makes me incapable of doing the slightest bit of housework or cooking and/or preparing meals.
However, thankyou once again for your input.