last try before 40 !!!

Hi guys,
My name is Holly and I decided to join up for some support and friendship to keep me going!
I have struggled with my weight since childhood.. now I am 39 and I always said that if i dont do this by the time I am 40 I will give up!
I have followed the same pattern for years, I lose several stones really quickly, drop several dress sizes by being really strict and getting obsessed with the figures on the scale... then I lose motivation, decide to have a few days 'off' and then end up gorging myself on all the foods I have deprived myself of for months, and then I end up putting at least 3 or 4 stone back on even faster than I lost it.
At my highest 4 years ago i was 22 stone... at my lowest last year i was 14 stone and looking/feeling so much better.... but then christmas came and I fell off the wagon, having family meals, eating fast foods and all the usual stuff we eat at that time of year, and that was the end of my diet. I gained several stone once again and couldnt even get my head in gear to do anything about it until May this year.
But for the last 10 weeks or so i have been back in the game... but this time I am doing things differently.... I am treating this as a change of life rather than a 'diet'... because I have to be able to keep this going for the rest of my life, not just a few months... I cant face going through all this again, so this time the weight has to stay off because I know that if I gain it all back again I wont have the motivation to start all over again.
So, I am not weighing myself, I have no idea what i weigh right now.. I dont want to get obsessed again and start depriving myself more and more and the weight loss slows down... I am just focusing on eating healthy foods, drinking lots of water, watching my calorie intake and trying to be a bit more active, while still having the odd meal out or fast food treat once every couple of weeks just to keep it realistic (that has to be better than eating bad stuff every day like i used to, right?) - I can feel that I have already lost a fair amount of weight since i started this.. I am gradually fitting back into clothes that I havent been able to wear for months... and I have one pair of size 16 skinny jeans that I know i was wearing when I was down to my 14 stone weight... so I am going to patiently wait until they fit me again! - so thats my story - I am hoping to make new friends here and keep the momentum going for good!

Hi Holly, your story sound so much like my own and likely many others on here. At my lowest recorded adult weight I was 14stone. I lost 4stone to get there then put 4.5back on lol! So back to square one again. It sounds so good the way you have decided to change your eating habits and not diet as such. Theres such a friendly bunch of people here so u will get all the help and support u need as well as making a few new friends along the way. Good luck and I look forward to your updates and seeing how your getting on x

hi tangerine12! thank you for the lovely welcome - i am so glad i took the plunge and joined this site - isnt it awful when you work hard and lose all that weight and then it all just creeps back on, why do we do it? lol - every time i lose the weight i tell myself that i wont let it go back on, but my love of food just takes over and it all goes to pot... thank you once again for the welcome, i hope to talk to you again soon! xxx

Not at all. I'm glad I came here too. I wanted somewhere just to write things down and just have some accountability for my actions. I was a typical binge eater. 5pm on thr train home from work I would eat eat eat in secret from my oh. Its awful when I think of the amount of stuff I was putting away. Anyway I find it really good here and friendly. Maybe u could start a diary yourself if u think that will help x

Hi both,

I'm another one who works really hard to lose it and then lets it creep back on again...each time a bit more than the last one.

I've just turned 40 so I know how you feel. At least at the moment my mind is in gear and it's going in the right direction

We can do it!

hi jules! it is so great to hear from yet another person that knows what it is like - i am so glad to hear that we both have our minds in gear right now, and you are right, we can do it !!! xxx