Feeling a failure - need encouragement to start over

Aaaarghhh.
Having battled to get my weight down from 13and a half stones to 10 stones, 5 years ago through healthy diet and lots of walking, I found it really hard to keep it off.
Kept creeping back up to about 11 stone then joined SW got back down to target but stopped going to group, then rejoined after gaining about 10lbs.
But last time I went I just couldn't seem to get back into it and after about 2 months I'd only lost 3 lbs and stopped going.
Since then I've had a few lifestyle changes and I've just really let things slide, I've been eating rubbish all the time again, can't be bothered to cook and hardly get any excercise I just feel like a slob and i'm back up to about 11 and a half stones already.
The thing is I can't lose weight on my own I need the support of a group but i feel really embarrassed to go crawling back to SW having gained yet again, I feel as if they'll think "why does she bother when she can't keep it off"
I'm 58 and aware that I need to do this for my healths sake but just not sure I can face starting all over again! Any advice/ support welcome.

Don't give up trying hun. I'm just starting again but doing it myself this time. I've also been through a lot of change recently and I know I have to do it now. Is there a different group locally that you can attend if you don't feel strong enoughbto go it alone. Around six years ago I lost five stone going to weight watchers but I don't have the time or money to attend classes now. Best of luck. You can do it xx

Thanks Joanne and Emmeline, I'm not sure whether I need a kick up the bum or what. I know what I have to do and how to do it but just can't seem to find that burning need to be determined. I started yesterday with all good intentions went for my grocery shop, filled the trolley with healthy fruit and veg, meat and fish then saw chocolate on offer and piled a load of that in too, then went in the supermarket cafe for a coffee, saw they had cake on offer and automatically grabbed a big slice, ate it without even really enjoying it