Back from my holidays...

[Cerulean]

An interesting time was had.

As promised, here are the photos of me in a bikini (taken on auto timer so not the best photo ever) and also the photo of what my tummy looked like about 6 stone ago.

I felt thin a lot - most of all in the plane when there was room to spare in my seat and I could almost do the seat belt to the tightest.

But I also felt very fat. Well - not very, just started to wonder if my goal is correct - I have a feeling that I may need to lose another 2.5 stone to get to where I think I should be.

The other strange thing about the holiday was the fact that the person I was with had such an issue with my foodpacks - she kept on panicking about whether I'd had enough or not - and no matter how hard I tried to explain that I could down all 4 of them all in one go if I wanted, she was obsessed! Also - every time the person I was with would order food, they would bring out extra plates - I wasn't bothered, but she was upset by it. There was a bit where our bill had 80 cents on it and I translated the Greek (get me!) as being a cover charge. This is what they charge you for the cutlery and bread but she was insistent that they charged it because I wasn't eating. I had to show her my rough guide to prove it to her! I enjoyed my first few times sitting in a taverna, but eventually I got fed up of wasting hours of my holiday watching other people eat. My family kept inviting us out for meals - eventually I had to speak up and say 'I haven't got a problem with people eating, but I keep having to stop what I'm doing to watch you eat for 2-3 hours - and I'm starting to resent it'.



The only minor slips I had were when other people ordered my greek coffee for me - I know enough greek to ask for 'sketo' coffee - no sugar - other people wouldn't know to do this and I would end up with a sip of sugary coffee. It tasted of soap! So I had two sips of sweet coffee - the first time I have broken LL in any way whatsoever! It actually feels a bit liberating as I have been such a good girl for 5 months I was worried that I was going to go mad when I started management!

So I'm back - I succeeded and I'm now safely in the 11s. I know that my next challenge is over my body image. I am not sure when I am going to be happy. I explained in Yorkiegirl's post that I am both happy and dissatisfied with my body. I have to start learning the lesson of good enough.

I shall take it easy today. I am very tired!

[Uphillstruggle]

That could be my tummy! Jesus but our tummys were similar! You are soooooo brave baring all in a bikini - you look fab! I would never have the guts - I am covered in stretchmarks, even at 10.10.

I know what you mean about watching people eat. After 12 weeks, I am totally comfortable with it - it is other pople who have the issues.

SOunds like you had a great Greek holiday anyway, even with the foodpacks. WEll dne for sticking to it so religiously.

You look fab!

BEth :-)

[katie_oxo]

Hi and welcome back - first things first you look great in your bikini! Well done on staying on your packs despite the mental pressure put on you by others, some people really can't accept the diet and it's so good that you were strong enough to be able to ignore this.

I really can understand your comment of watching people eat being a waste of your time - I'd never thought of it like that before.

Re being dissatisfied with your body, I think your weight loss is really amazing and you look lovely but there's only you who knows whether you're truly happy with the weight that you are now or whether you want to lose more - but if you do want to lose more please know that in the meantime you look bloody good and you should feel it too

Cath

[Tiger Girl]

Hi Cerulean
Thanks so much for posting the pics - you look fantastic in your kini!!

Your post made me think of the ritualistic side of eating, and how much time can be spent doing it!

Welcome back!

[Cherry Plum]

Well done sticking to abstinence throughout your holiday, you are braver than me & you look great in your bikini.
I hope that you had a good holiday despite the problems you encountered.
I believe that we are doing this diet for ourselves & no one else, if I get to my goal & I'm not comfortable there, I will continue until I'm happy with what I see. I don't care what others say.
My LLC told me that food addicts don't become anorexic!
So I'm not worried on that score.
You have done so well to get where you are.
You should be proud of what you've achieved.

[Just Do It]

Cerulean,
So glad you managed so well on holiday. Its great to know that it can be done, gives us confidence that we can do it too.

Well done for posting the pics. You do look great in your bikini and your tummy picture really gave me a good laugh.

I'm wondering a bit about how right my goal is too. Its wierd to be contemplating reaching it. For so many years its been getting further away.

Its so fantastic that we're all actually getting closer now!

Claire

[Mrs Lard]

I cannot do your photos and post any sort of justice at 11.30pm on a Sunday night so I may come back and comment again.

In the meantime, I just have to say I am completely in awe of you, your achievement and your inspiration to other women. Not sure whether you realise just how many questions you have answered by posing before and after (with your tummy).

I know I hesitated in the past because I was worried about saggy skin (ironically, when I was younger and my skin could have recovered)!

Skin, I think, is a huge issue for overweight people and you have showed what could be! In a good way.

Hope the holiday comedown is not too hard.

Mrs L xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[tishtosh]

Great to have you back and you look lovely in your bikini, really a lovely shape. So well done for all your efforts - which have quite obviously paid off.

[scareypeanuts]

OK so when did you nick my before tummy or are we twins or even triplets as uphillstruggle said it was hers.

You look FAB and well done for sticking to it.

i am going to Rome in 3 weeks and you are truly an inspiration

C
x