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About LinkBacksWell done Cerulean for an excellent piece about...Development, Management and life beyond.
Helen - fantastic moment for you!
Hoorah!
I'll write up our Development sessions v.soon! xxx
Well done Cerulean for an excellent piece about...Development, Management and life beyond.
Helen - fantastic moment for you!
Hoorah!
I'll write up our Development sessions v.soon! xxx
LOVING the development posts!
Sarah - that was a mammoth post but brilliant
Re the 'what can they do to make Development more compelling/motivating etc?' question, how about exclusive 'only available on Development, foodpack flavours?' Surely this is a no brainer? For me the practicalities of Foundation are over in a very short time, yeah I have packs, I can now turn them into mini sculptures if required, there is nothing I can't transform a bag of mushroom flavoured dust into blah blah... I've always been more focused on the emotional side, but exclusive Development packs! It would just be brilliant right now for me. (I'm adding that to the 'you can charge me later for all of this LL' list)
So, I had my WI and have lost the grand total of 1lb in 3 weeks. How has this happened?
Well, I don't actually think I've been in ketosis at all due to the see sawing on packs-off packs behaviour.
My LLC was actually really helpful, and yesterday I spoke with her, my Doc, my other external support people and my Trainer and I feel like I'm back. I'm not beating myself up at all. I've had 3 bad weeks out of 22. My Doc said I am definitely being too hard on myself and he's right. I've not gained any weight. I've lost! A very measly 1lb, but I've not set myself back at all - merely stalled for a very short time. I feel ok. Almost good! But definitely 'back'.
My losses have slowed beyond recognition in Development. My LLC definitely thinks it's the bars. I have been ordering too many and I know it. So we agreed yesterday that I'm definitely in Development for one more month. And I'm only ordering 7 bars a week for the next month, and she's committed to not letting me order any more than this. (I've been ordering 14 and fluctuating madly with them - some days not having any and some days having 3, it's not been helpful)
I've got to up my water intake. It's been minimal.
All of these things I KNOW! I did have a moment of, 'how come in 22 weeks I'm actually re-living some of the basic principles?' But it's exactly what I need to do. Get the packs down in liquid form as much as poss, drink more water and stop over doing it on the bars. We do know all of this stuff inside and out don't we?
I need to get into the 12st range. It's vital that I get into this range asap. I've not been here for so long and have been hovering now at 13st 5 for what feels like forever.
I've probably been doing too much at the gym (Sorry Mrs L - I so want to remain your Gym motivator!!) I'm going to cut down to 1 session a week with my PT and we need to go back a bit on my programme. He's killing me right now and I just don't have enough in my system to make it work. After my last session I had to go to bed when I got home such were the overwhelming levels of body shock! He wants me to eat something before training and this is just not an option on the mental front. So, that's sorted and on the plan too.
What else?
Erm, I feel re-focused after my 3 week wobbler. I needed the break I think. Not that I was eating for 3 weeks of course, but enough on and off behaviour to do my head in but also push me to actually making some plans and setting some hardcore goals.
I feel like my usual LL self in terms of mental approach. i want to finish this, there really is no other option.
I bought a workbook a while back called "The Food and Feelings Workbook" (you've got to love that for a title!) It's pretty hardcore on the emotional front and I actually found it incredibly difficult to work through. I can see now that that was because I was SO mentally strong and focused! Now that I've actually hit real problems and experienced all manner of things that I hadn't since starting LL, I'm going to re-open the workbook and start getting through it.
I shall report back! And maybe set some of the Developers some of the F&F's workbook exercises!
Mrs L - thanks for posting all of the links, I'm going to get through them when I can.
Keep posting Developers - your fellow LL'ers need you
Hello Fellow Developers
TG - You are STILL my gym motivator!! Loved your post, even though you've been through the mill a bit. Been there and done it myself, of course.
Anyway, here's a Development Exercise, which I promised to post - more to follow, as and when. IF this doesn't make sense, shout and I will amend because I haven't actually finished this exercise myself but when I have, I will write it up for my blog and then it might be clearer.
So, here goes:
Draw a large circle with 16 segments in it, which represent 16 hours in a day, assuming you sleep for eight (fat chance, but never mind!).
Think about the different roles you have/you play in your life. For example, colleague, friend, daughter, tenant, mother, wife, partner, neighbour, sister, LighterLifer...
Which roles take the most priority?
Write down a list of your different roles.
Draw these roles on your pie chart and indicate how much time is spent being in each role on a typical day. For example, if you are at work all day, are you a colleage/a boss/a partner/a sole trader? And for how many hours. I spend, for example, at least 10 hours a day being a colleague/sole trader and a project manager (for the house) but zero hours right now being a dog owner because she is staying with my mother as the B&B has a no pets rule, sadly.
Once you have done this - with all sections covered - ask yourself how much time do you have just to yourself, time that is yours to decide how to spend the "me" role? (For me, it's the time blogging/writing.)
Which roles are the first and last to get dropped when you are under pressure?
In which roles would you like to increase the amount of time you spend doing/being?
In which roles would you like to decrease the amount of time you spend doing/being them?
Draw a second circle/wheel to represent how you would LIKE to spend your time, one year from now, when you are managing your desired weight. What do you want to be?
Ask yourself the following questions:
What do you see about yourself from this activity?
What might need to happen for you to achieve this new balance?
What could you start today?
Are you more effective when you make time for yourself?
Use this new pie chart to help you set up some new goals, now that you have a clear idea of where and how you want to be in 12 months' time.
wow! This is good stuff & I love the photography analagy Sarah! This bit is SOO tough but we can SO do it & get to where we want to be. OK so some have wobbled, fallen of but the important thing is learning through it & picking up the tools for later. I know with absolute certainty that when I eat I will NEVER go back to the way I was before. I'm not going to ban anything but all things in moderation.
Someone called me an inspiration the other day and it didnt really sink in. Noone has ever said that about me & I wouldnt about myself, even though I have achieved a fair amount in my life & have overcome some pretty difficult hurdles along the way. What I realised was that I feel I do really feel that I am really finding me. For the first time ever I feel happy with who I am. Yes I have weight left to loose but feel reenergised that the end is close and know that I can do this. Thank you all for such lovely heartfelt posts. They really do make a difference!
Starting 15.7.11 - 18 st 4.5
Hi Girls
Well, I took the plunge and fed back some thoughts to my LLC (about Development), who was very receptive and has asked for more! Hooray.
Re: Development and how/what LighterLife is doing about/handling this, I think if we can all - as individuals - go via our own LLCs, this will be more effective - as well as posting on here. I am going to summarise the issues, the suggestions, etc and pass them on..
In the meantime, I just posted - straight after Cerulean and ISOM, spooky or what (?!), on someone who is struggling with abstinence.
I'm beginning to 'get' it, the whole 'don't break abstinence' stance and I drew comparisons with running a marathon and I think that Development is like the infamous wall. You have to go through it to the other side. It just came to me as I was writing.
I did a thought record today about why I continue to argue with my husband and, in the way that thought records go, I had a revelation about other areas of my life! I realise that so much of my behaviour around Development has been based on the fact that I never thought I could 'do' this to the end. I was scared I would fail and scared if I succeeded because either way, the outcome would test me! Either handling the fact that I bailed out early OR the fact that I finally succeeded at something that I have been battling (sorry, negative language but you know what I mean) for so very many years!
I'm beginning to see that I want the equivalent of a medal for doing this - I am changing my motivation from an 'away from' situation to a 'towards' one. I want to sprint to the finish line and collect...something.
So, I shall be taking a leaf out of Cerulean's book and focusing on some end of Development rewards. This is a major shift in my thinking; my motivation to date was I want to finish asap because I DON'T WANT to be doing this diet anymore! Hmmm. Do I run towards something I really, really want or drag my feet to avoid some perceived pain of Development?! Oooh, that's a tough one! Ha ha.
You can guess the rest; I will be telling myself to "just do it"!
Good luck fellow friends on the Development tightrope; we CAN do this! Yes, we can!
Mrs L xxxxxx
Oh Mrs L...I can't thank you enough! You've given me a true lightbulb moment.
"I don't want to be doing this diet anymore"
I am the most away from person ever! I always see what I don't like first, and I always know what I don't want to do first. So whilst I know all of this, I'm not sure how I missed the fact that I have been running the thought of "I don't want to be doing this diet anymore" for a very, very , very long time. No wonder I crashed!
I want to get to the end of this and emerge as a slim and gorgeous creature. Brilliant. However, the belief that's running alongside this is "I don't want to be doing this diet anymore" Well that's not going to work is it?!
So - a bit of reframing is in order. The best way to deal with an away from person is to simply ask them what they'd rather have, so this is what I'd rather have...
I want to be able to enjoy the last month or 2 of this process. The last 5 months have flown by and been mainly made up of anxiety, insight, hard work, discovery and the strongest desire to reach the end.
So for this last stretch I'd rather have a much more active conscious approach to what I'm doing. Enjoy it, keep on learning, and above all stay abstinent.
This is what I'd rather have.
Phew. Sometimes it really is the simplest stuff that gives the biggest insight! I need to go and do a lot more work on this one.
Thanks Mrs L
Hey, TG!
That's fantastic!!!! Loved your posts, tonight, by the way!
Big kiss.
Mrs L xxxxx
I have lapsed again today. Not really sure why, so must ensure I do a thought record very soon. hopefully this will help me to identify the reasons behind me eating lots of ham, even more cheese, a piece of my own home made pizza and several chocolate biscuits. I have had no LL packs at all today and I am very hungry, without the protection of ketosis now. Should I have a pack do you think, or wil that compound my mistake and make my WI even more traumatic?
I am feeling ashamed of myself, but I know I am not alone and definately not about to throw in the towel just yet. (makes a change, huh!)
This morning i had an odd encounter with OH, and I know the ensuing discussion was postponed until later.....later is about now I guess. (We have no physical relationship, my fault, always blamed on my fat, but now thats going the problem is still there, obviously in my head....) Maybe I subconsciously decided that my (fat) security blanket was dropping away, and I need it. Who knows? Def one for the TR.
Development is so so much harder than I ever imagined it would be. It can be tough keeping the goals in sight, as the weight drops away. New found confidence and ability to shop as a normal person can allow the child in us to loudly request that "You've had your turn, what about what I want then?" I am exceedingly lucky that I do have a great LLC, who does seem to genuinely care about all of us and puts lots into running her groups. I think I will have a chat with her, particularly now, as my hols are so close and I dont want to mess this up just for the sake of a couple of weeks in the sun with a jug of Sangria!
In haste but wanted to share this inspiration with you before I go to work. There I was happily waking from my usual deep sleep with the lovely Sarah Kennedy (on he radio not in bed with me I hasten to add) & by some miracle I actually heard the lyrics to this "take that" Let it shine...Girls, this is for us! This is OUR time!
Read, listen & celebrate!
Lyrics
"You, you're such a big star to me
You're everything I wanna be
But you're stuck in a hole and I want you to get out
I don't know what there is to see
But I know it's time for you to leave
We're all just pushing along
Trying to figure it out, out, out.
All your anticipation pulls you down
When you can have it all, you can have it all.
So come on, come on, get it on
Don't know what you're waiting for
Your time is coming don't be late, hey hey
So come on
See the light on your face
Let it shine
Just let it shine
Let it shine.
Stop being so hard on yourself
It's not good for your health
I know that you can change
So clear your head and come round
You only have to open your eyes
You might just get a big surprise
And it may feel good and you might want to smile, smile, smile.
Don't you let your demons pull you down
'Cause you can have it all, you can have it all.
So come on, so come on, get it on
Don't know what you're waiting for
Your time is coming don't be late, hey hey
So come on
See the light on your face
Let it shine
Just let it shine
Let it shine.
Hey let me know you
You're all that matters to me
Hey let me show you
You're all that matters to me.
so come on,come on,get it on
don't know what you waiting for
your time is coming don't be late hey hey
so come on, see the light on your face
let it shine
just let it shine
let it shine
Hey let me love you
You're all that matters to me
Hey so come on yeah
Shine all your light over me"
Thought it would be nice to have the DVD so looked, watched & cried! The staires are for me such a representative of the journey on LL. It seems so daunting when you stand at the bottom & look up but when they play at the top it feels like I do now; that I've conquered & my heart really, truely is celebrating. Despite the fact that I still am fat in real terms!
Enjoy &...,corny though it most certainly is, "LET IT SHINE!"
YouTube - Take That - Shine
Starting 15.7.11 - 18 st 4.5
Turned up to development last nigth and yet again there was just the 3 of us from our foundation group. No one else bothered to show for the 3rd week running.
I do love the two ladies who were in foundation with me but they have both started management and I still have 6 stone to go - so we are not in the same place. Also one of them is a bit dippy and tries to be encouraging but it ends up having the opposite effect on me and winds me up a bit. It's not always about weight loss - last nigth she was talking to me about teaching (she has just retired and I used to teach).
Anyway, my LLC had mooted making the session into a management session but allowing me to keep coming. I hadn't ad any time to think about it and just agreed but I was feeling really down. TBH I was thinking I wouldn't go back and would contact a CDC (I note the one local to me posts on the CD forum). I don't feel I'm getting any support.
She asked how I was feeling and it all came out - how I felt alone on the journey - that there was no-one I could relate to who had a similar amount of weight to lose - and that all I could see was weeks and months of foodpacks stretching ahead of me. Anyway, she suggested I move into teh other developers group and try to fit in there. So I'm starting with them on Wednesday.
I would just see how you go & think of ways to get the focus back. How about setting yourself a 100 days target Sandra so you focus on that but not the whole journey? I know its hard but try "reframe" & find the positives of the journey. ARe you doing things like though records? Sounds like changing group may help but getting used to new people will take time to get used to so you'll need some strategies to get you through another fairly major transition...big huge & hope you resolve this for yourself.
Starting 15.7.11 - 18 st 4.5
Good luck in your new group Sandra. Let us know how you get on.
I've only ever attended one D class and am really looking forward to getting back to groups in management.
Question for you Developers:
Bearing in mind my 3 week wobble, temptation has been at an all time high, should I ask for my management pack to start reading up and prepping?
I reckon I've got 1 month minimum and 2 months maximum before Management starts for me. I'm a bit scared of reading about food as I'm back in the zone and really want to just stay focused on what I'm doing. As per a previous post, I'm trying not to encourage the very strong voice that says 'I cant wait for this to be over'
Any thoughts?
Yes! Can TOTALLY relate to how you feel as have about the same time to go and it sure is tough! BUT I also know I want to "get there" in every sence of the word so what I decided to do was NOT get the book until I'm ready to do it. Instead I have been doing some research into the kind of food I want to eat after management (decided on low gi) and am getting recipe books etc to keep me busy (although not reading them much cos I get hungry!!). I knew if I got the management book too early that I would manage to convince myself to start now under the "looking good now, can loose the rest later" category!!! In short told the chatterbox to f-off!! We KNOW we want to get there and the longer it goes the more active old chatty gets but its all in the mind - I just have to look at my tummy to know the truth! Hope you find the right answer for you though! Big hugs!
Starting 15.7.11 - 18 st 4.5
Originally Posted by In search of me
Thanks so much for this! I love this song but hadnt really listened before, IYKWIM.
It means so much more now & has really put things in their proper place, mindset-wise!
Thanks for the You tube link too!!! watched loads now!!
Shine on everyone!!!
TG
Very quick email as have stonking headache and need to go to bed - early start and late night tomorrow (WI in London).
Steer clear of Management materials for now. You really don't need any more distractions right now.
I'd like to thank you for reframing suggestion because I finally got round to it tonight (and expert friend agreed) AND it made a HUGE difference. So reframing is the way to go!
I finally realised that I would be so proud of myself for getting to the end (really had never consciously verbalised that before) and it's going to be the same for you. SO, reframe, reframe, reframe and don't clutter your mind with Management until you are v.close.
Sorry, will be able to give your question some more thought en route to class tomorrow.
Big kiss.
Mrs Lxxx
PS Sez - what is IYKWIM?????
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