No Support in Managment?

[soontobeskinny]

I am in week 4 of Managment and I'm really struggling. I keep bingeing, I mean serious bingeing and not on stuff I want to eat either.

On one side I am really enjoying eating again, but I feel I am really not getting any support from my new counsellor (I moved counsellor's due to moving house at the end of foundation) I go to the sessions where she just asks how our week has gone and weighs us, hands out the packs and then rushes off to her next meeting.

I am stressing out about putting on weight (as I have been bingeing) I've put on about 7lbs, I'm feeling fat whch makes me eat more. I know I am also bulemic, so I have found Cerulean's blog and comments very helpful and so much rings true with my own sabotaging behaviour of bingeing on crappy food. I too 'only' eat orgainc and preservative free and good quality meat etc, but the food I binge on is utter rubbish, its almost as though the 'good quality' food I would normally try and eat in moderation (such as Green and Blacks Chocolate) is too good to binge on. Instead I eat sugar filled, crappy chocolate, that I dont enjoy and wouldn't normally eat even in moderation.

I find the lack of support that I get from my counsellor is really affecting my confidence and not helping my keep on track of the foods I am allowed week to week.

I am considering leaving my management group in London and maybe trying to go it alone, following the food lists. On one hand I haven't even been eating my packs for a while now, so I have a huge amount of spares and I feel as though I'm getting no support. I don't know whether to change counsellor's and keep trying or to leave and go it alone or stick with this counsellor? But part of me thinks the fact that I have to go to my meetings week to week, is one of the only things that brings me back on the straight and narrow now and again.

Any advice guys and gals...I need some words of wisdom (

[Karen1972]

Oh hun you poor thing. You are not alone! The abstinence bit was the easy bit and it's now that the hard work starts!! You will have many ups and downs before finding a way of stabilising. I don't know what to suggest to be honest. We're all different in what helps us.

I would defo stick to the 12 week plan on LL though. But you must be strong. It takes so much more willpower to maintain. And a completely different mindset than to lose weight.

Keep posting here, you will get lots of advice and it really helps talking about it.

One day at a time hun....

[Miss_Bettany]

I'd swop counsellors. ASAP too!

[Helen]

Lots of hugs being sent your way I am still in Development so don't have any experience of Management that can help however if I was you I would see if you could change counsellors before trying to go it alone.

Dont forget that most, if not all, of that 7lb gain will be glycogen and not regained weight as such. Also you have been through foundation and maybe development (I don't know) and you have reached the Management stage. That is a huge success, you have done really well, you are only human so don't beat yourself up about the bingeing you have done. Starting this thread shows that you want to succeed and that you are trying to do so with little support at the moment. See about changing counsellors, keep posting on here and keep your chin up!

[SandraEG]

Why don't you try to talk to your LLC about how you are feeling. She may just be unaware that you need more support. If she isn't receptive to you, then definitely find out about moving to another LLC.

[Alan_99]

I would also check MrsLards post on self sabotage you will find some helpful tips there. It is very difficult if you aren't getting propper support have you tried talking to others in your group who are a few weeks ahead of you? I would try and and have your packs everyday even if you have binged take your packs anyway and get back into the routine of them again I found myself having 2 packs together some evenings but your body will adjust to the new routine.

Don't focus to much on the gain the best thing about the early weeks of managment there is scope to lose a little weight. As for your LLC give em a good kick in the butt when you next see them and demand some help because thats what they are there for and what we pay for. Rest assured all of us on here are behind you 100% and sending you lots of support, you really have done so well getting to managment, this is the easy bit you've done the hard work losing all the weight you wanted to. Keep up the great work and be good to yourself you deserve it.

[Cerulean]

I am actually considering talking to my LLC at the weekend and asking her if I can stop using the packs as of this weekend. I no longer want to follow the LL plan with packs - more than happy to do RtM but with balanced meals - I don't mind putting on 7lbs quickly due to increased food intake - I really can afford it both physically and psychologically - Getting to BMI 22.5 actually kicks off my binge behaviour every time my weight drops to 10st as my spine starts sticking out against my bra and my coccyx or however you spell it just out and hurts when I sit down - and of course I feel guilt about moving off my LL target by eating 'badly' the RtM books are great but eating disorders are definitely the elephant in the big blue book's room - I don't understand why they aren't even mentioned!...the 'bad' eating kicks off purge episodes - I finally admitted today that I need professional help with my bullimia as RtM has kicked it off and I don't want to spend the next 10 years in the same cycle of self-hatred again!

[soontobeskinny]

Thanks for all your help. I have managed to stop bingeing on crap, I have put on 10lbs now and am giving myself a reality check! Its the first day I have been on the scales this week (I'm usually an everyday weigher-not healthy I know) But I have been eating too much fruit (but better than chocolate).

I even considered going back on the packs for a couple of weeks to get my weight back down, but I'm not sure that's the answer really. It's then just delaying the fact that I don't seem to be able to control my eating at times. I could lose the 10lbs then, be back to square one = bingeing.

I think I need to try and control my eating (a day at a time), not be too hard on myself or beat myself up about not acheiving perfection in Management technique and try and lose some weigh sensibly.

Thanks for your advice guys, I have my Management meeting on monday night and I think I need to try and talk to my counselloe...we'll see how it goes. Until then, I'm just gonna keep my head above water and make sensible choices...