Help for tomorrow - people coming to dinner - ideas please?

[Greavsie]

Hello fellow LL'ers

Hope everyone is doing well out there with keeping on track!

Just wondering if anyone out there can remind me of some good excuses to avoid eating tomorrow please. I have friends coming over for dinner and will have been in abstinence for only 3 days. I lost 3 1/2 stone in LL Foundation this time last year and have regained 1 stone since March and am going back to LL returners to lose my regain plus another 2 stone to get my BMI under 25 as I had originally intended.

I am going to my first LL returners class on Tuesday evening but wanted to get a headstart on tackling the festive excesses so started SSing from last Thursday and am remembering all the great advantages of abstinence (seriously):

- more energy (= tidier flat)
- not feeling thirsty all the time (must drink lamentably little water when not on LL - something I do notice and try and tackle when not in abstinence but not enough obviously)
- clearer skin (already the water works to plump out a few wrinkles and prevent blemishes - I think so anyway and if I think so surely that's all the counts! So long as it keeps me drinking the water)
- a sense of being back in control not just in relation to my weight but a general sense
- more attention to my appearance (doing my nails, having nice baths, making beauty appointments)
- better sleep

Anyway - so despite all this 'loving it' attitude, I have two old friends coming round to dinner tomorrow. When I did LL Foundation I told very few people I was doing it, not out of shame, just to remain focused I knew I had to not be talking about it all the time or have people asking me about it all the time. Easier to do because I was in a great group who were very supportive of one another and we emailed and spoke in between classes. Although most of my friends now know how I lost the weight (and have indeed now been on LL, one of them having lost an amazing 5 stone!) - not these two friends. And I don't want to tell them.

Sooooo....I think I'm okay with the cooking for them - but how do I explain why I'm not eating? Please remind me of some tips to get away with not eating while not making it a big deal or how you've tackled similar situations e.g. what to cook (something I don't like...I'm thinking there's no food I wouldn't eat at the moment so this isn't helping), how to serve the food (e.g. not at a dinner table, try and be more informal but will seem odd with just the 3 of us to do a buffet style lunch), if I have to eat, eat only protein (bad idea but better to be controlled with a Plan B)

Any, any, any ideas welcomed!

Thanks in advance for any replies

Happy New Year
Gx

[Miss Fenella]

do tapas or other small plates - that way they won't feel odd about eating infront of you? You can esnure that there is something protein rich and carb free, meatballs, chicken etc.

Good luck

[lighterlifeclaire]

My gosh... at week three I would never have arranged to have my friends over for dinner. My advice would be to completely abstain... you may already know but once you 'lapse' it is so hard to get back on track.

Why are you choosing not to tell them? If it was me and I had to do lunch, I would tell them the truth, and be very proud of it too

[Greavsie]

Thanks for your advice Miss Fenella and LLClaire (and well done to both of you on your weight loss and keeping going over christmas - no mean feat)...am thinking I'm going to rely on a went out drinking tonight excuse making me not feel too good to eat that I'm currently thinking up now! Oh the wicked non-eating web of lies we weave....

Lighterlifeclaire - I'm actually on Day 3 so not even week 3 yet. I did 100 days Jan - March last year and am restarting now to lose some regain and get to goal - and yes, I would rather not be inviting people round but it was an arrangement I made ages ago and would feel too bad trying to wriggle out of it now and they are coming to see my newly decorated dining room...hence lunch/dinner.

The thing for me with not telling people is not a matter of shame - it is how I gave up smoking. I just went cold turkey, never told anyone, and 6 years on have never smoked again. It took people a while to notice I no longer smoked but their surprise at my willpower when they realised was really good encouragement to keep on track. It is just how my mind works. As you know, in the counselling you get to learn about your different sides, Adult, Child and Parent. If I tell people I'm trying to make a change, generally people (trying to be supportive I know) ask you how you're doing, how are you finding it, are you sticking to it etc? For me, that triggers my Rebellious Child attitude. People are not trying to tell me what to do, or tell me to stick to it but somehow my brain can perceive it that way, even if rationally I know that is not so. I get a feeling that I am doing it to please other people, whereas when I keep it to myself I know I am only doing it to please myself and for some reason that keeps me on track. So it is more a psychological reason for not telling which I know helps me, and has helped me in the past than a not telling people because I'm embarrassed. I also didn't and won't tell people because if they notice I've lost weight I want them to notice it for themselves rather than feeling obligated to say something because they know I'm on a particular diet. Does that make sense at all? I know other people do better with their friends and family knowing so they have the support which is good.

But you have both strengthened my resolve so thank you for that!

[Zomble]

I completely understand your motives, Greavsie! I did the same. Maybe you could say you ate something yesterday (or earlier today) which disagreed with you, so you don't feel like eating anything else today. You're going to wait till tomorrow...

[Linze01]

I think the tapas idea is great. In my first week my boss organised this amazing tapas party for everyone at work. At that point I hadn't told anyone and seriously, no-one noticed I wasn't eating. I wandered around with a champagne glass full of fizzy water and an empty plate and had a great old time. It was easier that we weren't sitting around a table so maybe you can organise it as more of a buffet. Otherwise, in the LL literature (or was it a tip from the DVD...?) I think it says to do something like fish on the bone because you can play around with it and no-one will guess that none of it is going in your mouth.

[Deb G]

I had wisdom teeth coming through as an excuse for not eating, and sat there merrily drinking a soup and remembering to say 'ouch' every so often. I managed to make it last as an excuse for about 10 weeks!!!

[lighterlifeclaire]

I had wisdom teeth coming through as an excuse for not eating, and sat there merrily drinking a soup and remembering to say 'ouch' every so often. I managed to make it last as an excuse for about 10 weeks!!!

LOVE this!!!!!! Maybe 'swollen glands' can be an excuse too!! (I currently have this, think I'm catching a cold or something! and know its hard to swallow whole food!!)

[lighterlifeclaire]

Hope today went OK by the way Greavsie... let us know how it goes