is 'fat' part of who you are?

[toller-girl]

I've noticed at work, I make lots of jokes that centre around me being a chocolate obsessed greedy pig. I work online so people can't see me, but I can't seem to let an opportunnity pass me by for self depricating 'fat' jokes.

I think I see fat as a part of my personality, rather than just an aspect of my physical apprearance.

Do other people tend to do that? If so, how do we change? I'll have to change my way of thinking so that I don't see myself as a fat girl (otherwise I'll have no chance of keeping it off) but it's been SUCH an integral part of who I am, I can't imagine what else I'll be.

It's as though the absence of fat will create a vacuum in myself, and I need to find something to fill it.

Has anyone else had similar thoughts?

[Kaalin]

Hiya, yeah I do the same thing. I think in my case it's trying to get the joke in before someone else does. I'll probably still make the same jokes later on when I'm slimmer. xx

[Twinny]

I do this ALL the time so it's definitely not you! I've even joked that people won't think I'm funny anymore if I lose weight - almost as though I'll lost all my magic funny powers

Not only will ths be a long journey but also many changes in personality will take place too....

[kimmie]

i think alot of the time, people who are fat, make all the fat jokes before sum1 else can, its like if a fat person is laughing about themselves, then other people tend to laugh with them not at them, if u get my meaning!!! Its just pointing out the obvious flaws so other people arnt *****y behind ur back! its a self defence mechanism!!xx

[Chellie_h]

I'm the same - it is its a self defence mechanism for sure - for me it stems from years of bullying. Funny enough i put on weight in the first place because of bullying at school and then got bullied for being bigger and then that is when i started using humour to fend it off. Madness really!! x

[Tange]

I used to do the very same thing. But now, I write in my grateful book everyday how grateful I am for my slim figure. (even though I am not quite there yet)
I think its important for you to change that, and I am glad you have realised you have been doing it. Your mind is so powerful and all you are doing is reinforcing and old belief.

I was really bad would not let an opportunity pass to put myself down.

You are a fabulous sexy woman, tell yourself that everyday and soon you will believe it.

[Chellie_h]

grateful book - what a great idea. I think i need to start using a mantra - i like what you said - I am a fabulous sexy woman!

[Tange]

grateful book - what a great idea. I think i need to start using a mantra - i like what you said - I am a fabulous sexy woman!

You better believe it lady!!!!

[mikey]

I think that I have built fat into my persona to make life more bearable, and to help me cope with hating the way I was/am. I intend on making slim part of my new persona thereby filling the (very large) vacuum left by "fat".

[Deb G]

It can be hard not being the fat one anymore - I still think I am at times....like when I go shopping I instinctively won't look at light colours as I still think I'm too fat to even consider them...... soI have to remind myself! I also find I hide from the camera still, until I suddenly remember I'm not fat anymore.

I also do the self-deprecating thing about my weight - which everyone finds VERY annoying now as I am the slimmest one of the lot, so it looks like I'm attention seeking, but in fact its just because I forget I'm not fat anymore. It takes time, but I'm sure we'll all adjust eventually. I still don't recognise myself in shop windows though!!

[Donnalou86]

I still occasionally make jokes about me being fat, I do think it's self defence to try to do it before someone else does. But more to the point, I am finding it really difficult to accept that I AM slimmer now. When people give me compliments and say how slim I am now...I really dont believe them. All I think is yeah but I still have a long way to go. When I imagine myself I still think of the way I used to be, and yesterday when I picked up my new work trousers I thought no way is that waist going to fit me, and not only did it fit, it was a little big! Its wierd trying to get your head to catch up to your body and I think that's going to take some work.

[Blonde Logic]

Hmmm. I avoided making fat jokes about me at allll costs....because for me, that would have drawn even more attention to me, and there was nothing I hated more then having eyes on me.....it was painful and cringeworthy - I just HATED it. So, I was a bit different - though I totally understand why people would make the joke, to beat anyone else to it - but I just couldn't do it.

Instead, if fat jokes were told, like by a stand up comedian - I would just shrivel up inside, but I would put on a broad smile and laugh along. So no one would see the hurt and pain and sadness of being fat - thereby once again drawing attention to my being fat.

We do so much twisted thinking in our heads.

I often ponder what it is going to be like for my friends who have only ever known me as fat. There are only about 2 people that knew me when I was slim aside from my family, and that was back in the 70s/80s - a long long time ago. I think it is going to be more uncomfortable for them then me! I find my attitude and confidence changing right in line with my weight. I wondered when I started LL how that was going to go - if I would have to catch up with my body - but I feel good they are both changing at pretty much the same pace.