This bloody diet!! I could scream!!!!

[bye-bigun!]

Be warned, I need a ramble!
I am not sure this diet is for me.. don't get me wrong, it had its moment indeed and I am more than thrilled with my results.. its absolutely changed my life completely already.. BUT, its not suiting me/working/easing my eating worries... in fact I would go so far as to say that its making them worse and also bringing up issues that I had long since resolved when it commes to snacking and bingeing. A time will come when it will mean me having a huge blow out - right now I am picking from the fridge or cupboard and it will be a couple of crackers, then I need to have some chicken, then maybe a biccie... all in one go. Not a HUGE amount but I know where this slope leads and it could soon be whole meals/mass choc etc.. I dont like where its heading.
Every single day I wake up with a positive head, certain to be 100%.. and I make it to late lunchtime and then *bang* its over before I know it. I have tried avoiding the kids lunchtimes, changing the timing etc - if I dont cave over lunch then it will happen at dinner. Trouble is I have done it, I know I can do it.. its kinda like I have blinkers on. part of me is wondering on a deeper level if I am deliberately tripping myself up..?? Then I think I am bonkers LOL! Yesterday I was completely in the zone, then family came for the day.. I ended up having an eggs sarnie and about 3 fairy cakes... then some choc... trust me its been a whole lot worse... but then I am skipping shakes to try and limit the damage. Only had one yesterday and I know this is really not good. As a result, I have about 2 weeks worth of shakes left.. I went away at the weekend for a girls weekend and left the 3 kids behind and I was actually rather good and sensible but its hit the fan since then. Supposed to be having WI on Saturday but am telling myself I wont go and to make the most of my spare shakes, avoid WI and get back on track.. right now I am stuck on the scales and dont show a loss...
What do I do?? I am excercising a few times a week, loving it and I feel really good about myself. I can go out and not feel conscious.. but I want to achieve my own set goal... and I dont want to end up where i was before after coming such a long way. I had sorted my eating issues before, had maintained for ages after losing loads.. but here I am again.. picking, eating and cant get my head outta the kitchen. Whats gone wrong?

Does anyone else understand this?? has this diet had a negative effect apart from the weightloss? I know most say this breaks the associations with food but for me this has caused quite a few and brought others back to the surface that were long since settled...
I am now off to try and find some more info on the weighloss on re-feed or maintenance as I find it a bit confusing... thinking this may be my next step or maybe I need a change of tack entirely...

Any ideas/?
thanks for getting this far! xx

[curvygirlyclaire]

You have just explained to a TEE how my past few weeks have been!!! It's nice to read i'm not the only fruit loop lol. I am determined to carry on with the diet, that mindset hasn't changed at all neither has by goal, but for some odd reason I can't seem to stop snacking! sometimes i'm not even bloody hungry it's just something that drives me to put things in my mouth! I was 100% for 8 weeks, not even putting pepper in my damn soup and now this!?!?! We have to do this, can you imagine throwing away all the hard work, I can't! I really wish you luck on getting over this madness and wishing myself it to as I need it just as much as you do! But I am thankful for your post, makes me feel better xx

[bye-bigun!]

OMG Claire thanks SO much!! LOL! BAsket case in the making here I tell you.... Its like some OCD, I am not even hungry either when I do it but its like something hijaks my mind.. I dont even taste the food and I am already feeling guilty about having bloody eaten!! grr, i am off to bed right this sec so i dont eat (how sad!!!) but will pop on and post tmw... i honestly feel a bit unhinged right now! LOL!

Hang in there.. I am full of good information, support etc - I just cant follow my own guidleines!! LOL! xx

[curvygirlyclaire]

Yeah i'm going to bed too! something that still makes me giggle is last week i was being so good but couldnt stop thinking of food, OH went to the toilet and i ran to the kitchen grabbed a packet of crisps and a toffee crisp from the fridge, ate them so fast i could rival a hoover.. plus didn't have chance to taste the damn things lol then went outside to have a cig so he couldnt smell salt n vineger on my breath. Went to bed then blurted it out how i had cheated, he just laughed and said but why tell me?? I couldnt stand the guilt :P Slippery slope from then on, and we all know its easier going down hill than up! NVM new day tomorrow and wake up with hope of being 100% again, Night donna x

[Cham Pers]

Well i gave up and now i regret it :-( what do i do now i dont want food i want shakes. Im feeling out of control and dont like it at all. Im wondering wether to brave ketosis again awww ...

[Thornhill Cate]

I've just got in from my son's football presentation night and have eaten four mini savoury eggs and a couple of mini sausages!! I too am finding that the longer I'm on this the more inclined I am to have a sneaky cheat. Again, not hungry but just want to eat something. Have managed to avoid a carb binge and, like Claire, I am determined to keep going. I think part of the trouble is that the sense of urgency has gone. People keep telling me I look great and that I shouldn't lose any more and I am feeling so much better about myself. To be honest, if I stayed like this I could live with it and so, in a sense, anything more is bonus. However, I do want to lose more and get to a healthy BMI at least which is another 1.5 stone. Also I saw some photos of myself taken yesterday and while I look so much better, I can see in those that there is still room for improvement. So, yes, I too am having trouble staying 100% now, but I'm not cheating enough to blow it. Neither of you is alone.

[bye-bigun!]

Omg Cate, u too eh! U have hit the nail on the head for me n made me realise something.... the urgency HAS gone.. I am now happy with being ME.... This is the best I have ever felt in my life since being a kid... maybe that's it? I can buy clothes, I look ok and I am content for the first time in my life. Despite a lot of weight loss before I was still left a fatty n still didn't blend in.. now I do... I can completely get how it puts me in a comfort zone. I know how I feel but can't find the words to best describe it... as u say, if this is as good as it gets then it would be fine. Hmm, I would like another stone off so I need to knuckle down to allow for re-feed etc or I will be doing the wrong direction on the scales! Xx thanks girls for helping me stay sane! Xx

[Karazykat07]

I have just laughed out very loudly at Claire.
It was just the image of you sprinting to the kitchen and eating the crisps and choc before your OH came back in the room
I just find it funny because i have done exactly the same thing myself lol.
It is actually interesting to read this as i can relate to it as well.
I was fine to start with but as the weeks went by i got worse for cheating and then trying to get going 100% and failing.
Had 5 weeks break from it and back now and coping much better but it is a worry that it will happen again.
I am my own worst enemy, if i could brave it to ketosis it would be so much easier!!

[leighsewingdiva]

so i'm not the only one going nuts then! got some sort of virus/throat infection and feeling like crap! really struggling to stomach anything especially not the shakes dh thought i'd gone crazy last night when i said it smelt like fish tank! it was our wedding anniversary yesterday and we went out for a meal and cinema wednesday. i avoided the pick and mix and even managed to resist the ben and jerry's but did succumb to a plate of food at the chinese buffet! a change from my usual 3 plus dessert but still wrong!! off to search threads to see about what to do with virus and TMR especially as i have the added battle of ME which is knocking me for 6!

[danni01]

Lol this is really funny, 1 person says wot everyone else is thinking/ doing then it all comes out!!! And I am no different, again gr8 4 given others encouragement but not stickin to it myself!!! The only thing I'll add is don't not go to weigh in becoz 1 week leads to another & u will feel better after talkin to the chemist, put this week behind u start again fresh next week or b4 u no it u'll be off the diet & back to square 1. And if u really can't do it, go on to re feed so at least ur still losing but not denying urself. Good luck xxx

[fizzstar]

Oooh Clare!!!! I could've written that....!!! My other half went to bed (heres me being a very good girl til I can afford more lipo, eating healthy and that) he'd just got into bed and I grabbed a packet of crisps but didnt hoover them down ate them soooo slowly, thinking 'if im quiet, he will never know' then thought 'what do I do with the empty bag?!' so I put it back in the cupboard and then the next morning when he left for work I grabbed the empty packet and put it straight in the outside bin ... how embarrassing!!!!

[temmytango]

oh fizz, u are sooooo funny. its funny i can relate to that but not while on lt. what i eat is fish or chicken from the stew but its funny i still manage to stay in ketosis and can you believe that. i only wish i could make at least 6pounds by my next weigh in. with you guys around, am positive. though am not hungry but for some reason i feel faint and then i grap a piece of chicken or fish.talk about craving and probably greed!

[curvygirlyclaire]

LOL Fizz, I have sucked maize crisps so no one can hear then shove the packet at the bottom of the bin so no one can see, even rearranging the rubbish already in the bin so no o ne can see it lol, it is so silly isnt it :P Gonna go have my 1st shake today I WILL be 100% today Kepp the stories coming, so funny reading them, ameks me feel normal!

[Leluna]

ah jeez laughin out loud here... what are we like??!! im still 100%, but a few times have contemplated all you guys are sayin.. im headin into week 7 and doin 11 weeks in total so really hopin i can stay 100% coz i know if i start picking its all over!!!!!!! stories are sooo funny.... women... reckon we're all nuts!!!!!!!!!

[temmytango]

hi leluna. i already fit into size 16 pants and presently weighing 14 stones 10. can see we have similar stats tho dont know how tall u are.it was bit tight though but 18 is definitely too big for me now