I found this post on Fred, it was from the minimins website and we were chatting away on a post about binge eating and someone linked this thread:
http://www.minimins.com/bring-your-h...sing-fred.html (Changing habits using Fred)
I found it sooo useful!! I have adapted it - but please, all credit goes to the original poster, Not trying to steal anyones thunder but if it helps someone - that's all I care about. I plan on printing this and laminating it, keeing a copy in my diary, in my handbag and in my biscuit cupboard! I found it useful to type up this way and ammend so I can read it as a mantra sort of. My Fred is going to need some serious ass kicking when i finish LT and start Slimming World! Hopefully he wont be as stubborn as I am and will learn quickly! I will wait and see!
All about Fred
Fred lives inside me. He's my automatic pilot.
Fred learns very quickly. This is vital. It's vital for all of us. We have to have that automatic pilot to deal with every day routines, so we can concentrate on other things.
Can you imagine going for a walk and thinking "now I have to put my right foot forward...now I have to put my left foot forward". We just do it without thinking. We've taught Fred how to do it so we can use other parts of our brain to decide where we are going etc.
So Fred is a quick learner. He takes over routine actions. Sometimes we teach Fred the wrong things and we have to take control of Fred for a while to teach him a better way. But if Fred has learnt something incorrectly for a long time, he doesn't like change. He has to scrub out what he has learnt and relearn it again. He's resistant, because the way he was used to doing it was easier and we always tend to go for the easiest way out. It makes sense.
Other people can't teach Fred. That's my job. Fred wonít automatically do the right thing unless I've taught him over and over again. And yes, Fred does learn quick, but relearning is harder for him. It's easier to write on a plain piece of paper and read it back, than one that has to be rubbed out first and written over.
So itís my job is to teach Fred what others have taught me throughout the day. I have the intellectual understanding of how it needs to be taught, and I need to help Fred put that into practice.
It's no good just expecting Fred to be able to do, just because I want him to, or because Iíve done it 3 times. I have to teach him so well that Fred just does it.
It's the same with us and food. Food is rewarding, and our Fred is used to grabbing it automatically if we are in a certain place at a certain time, or during certain emotions. He's our automatic pilot. We just let him do and then wonder why he's done it, when we know it's wrong.
We have to take control of Fred. We have to stop and say "hang on mate...wrong move...this is how we do it". At the beginning it's hard because we are so used to letting him take over once he's been primed, but we have to take that responsibility back from him, to stop him going into the next action and completing the whole routine.
We may need to think about which parts Fred can do on his own and which parts Fred needs help with because Fred hasn't learnt it sufficiently yet.
Iíll think about how Fredís parts need more conscious awareness. How he may need to slow down at that point. Think about what he is going to do. And then I take control from Fred when we get to that section. Of course...I am ultimately in control of the whole routine...it's not completely mindless, just like me going for a walk and doing the right foot, left foot thing.
But I have to plan for Fred to do it. I have to know where it is that goes wrong. I have to know what I am going to do about it and do it. No long discussions with Fred over why we should or shouldn't, I just need to do it to get the results I want.
But I have to plan, and I have to practice to teach Fred. It doesn't just happen because I know what I should be doing. It wonít happen because I've told him, or because Iíve read a book on it, I still have to teach Fred myself. And I have to want to, really want to. And I have to be patient with him. And I have to be strict with him and not let him bully me around.
But once Fred is aware of what he's doing, and knowing we want something different, it's just a case of doing it. Teaching Fred so he can do that bit without us having to think too much about it.
I know my Fred can do this, Me and Fred are going to really understand each other and be good friends