Debbie's Re-start 2011 :(

So here I am ... nearly 18 months later ... having put back on all barr 5lb's of the original weight I lost through Reductal/WW/Lipotrim :(

A lot has happened lately, and it's made me realise I needed a boost, but I really am struggling already, and knew I would. Trying to stay at positive as I can :)

I quick lowdown .. previously loosing weight has been for me, being unhappy etc, however I then had a bit of a boost having booked to do my first skydive on 14th May 2011 in aid of Kidney Research UK .. and the weight limit being 16stone (eek she says at 16st 1 ... although being cheeky I weighed earlier and I'm showing 15st 10!) so I figure lets start Lipotrim a week before .. its a great starter with extra motivation ... however, since then, the reason behind the jump and the weight loss have come together. My mums kidneys are deteriorating to the point of transplant ... firstly I was being tested along with 5 others in family to be a donar and knew if I was serious I'd need to shift some weight anyway .... well as of the day I've now found out, everyone aside from me and 1 sister have been ruled out for donation ... so now it is getting serious, I need to get myself back to a healthier, fitter, lighter me just in case my mum needs my kidney and I have the operation :(

Well I started yesterday (sat 7 may) and by 4pm I was climbing the walls .. saying to myself what am I doing, I cant do this, I've tried before, I'm weak :cry:and I just gave in and ate a cereal bar ... no reason whatsoever, and it was literally after that I found out it had been narrowed down to me and my sister. I could have sobbed .. thinking you stupid person ... day 1 not even over and already being selfish.

So here I am .. day 2 ... water intake getting used to again .. I feel really water logged sometimes and get a bit sicky. I have a headache - which I never got the first time round, no side effects at all, and feeling pretty icky, but I'm trying to say to myself .. this is for my mum :eek:

I really know this is going to be a difficult journey, not only second time round, but I'm not sure as much as I said .. come on lets do this, if I was really ready, but at the same time I keep thinking - I'm never going to be 'ready'! I've been on diets since I was 15 ... you just have to think now is the time and hope it sticks.

So I'm hoping by really using this forum to stay positive, seek advice in this trying time, and stay focused it will keep me going

... watch this space :sigh:
 
Wow you have such a motivator! What could be more worth while than helping your mum?
I too am a restarter, there are a few of us, so we are all here to help each other.

Best of luck - remember the first few days are the hardest then it gets soooo much easier xxx
 
Back
Top